I like the first two lines because they are dramatic and like a paradox as they run parallel to one another. I wonder why it went downhill. How come you ended it in such frailty? It went from power to powerless, hope to doubt. Interesting, maybe you meant is that way. I read over and I ponder if the author has shaped the poem in the lines of his mind and the scripture, "being like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." I wonder if the position of the stanza symbolize the sway.
However, this line, I do not understand, "and take a hold of the reins that guide all these untouchable things." These two I don't understand either, "using my gifts within to shape a new day/am I able to rebuild or is it just a waste." Or you know what maybe it's like a contemplation of wills. I don't know. That's my view.
Thanks for sharing!
Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)
God bless
Posted 12 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
This poem is the questioning of something that I already know is possible. Therefor the sway in the .. read moreThis poem is the questioning of something that I already know is possible. Therefor the sway in the writing. In the end it is the scripture that reminds me that this is doubt. Thank you for your thought provoking reviews.
This is brilliant. We are all, devoid of the certainties that we want. And most of our actions/decisions becomes leaps of faith. Your poem stretches the limits of doubt to as far as "beyond the stars" and as close as the "gifts within". Loved this!
I love this poem. I can see nothing wrong with it. It is beautiful and understandable.
Great job!
I wouldn't mind just one question mark at the end, but that is just for you to think about.
Fantastic job,
have fun,
Erin
This was really enjoyable (: I liked the format of the poem, it made it a lot more visually interesting. A lot of poets don't understand the importance of the visual look of their poetry.
Doubt is a potent word isn't it? You conveyed the relation of wondering what is possible with doubt perfectly here :)
Guess we have to salute the darkness at times to find that shimmer of light with a message that shall guide us :)
xoxo
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the .. more..