Preserving the Youth

Here is my first attempt at poetry. viva vivamus translates to "through life we live"

She pauses briefly

Entering into her state of bliss

As she delicately slips the wire

Into her own nest.

The blood trickles down

And she smiles

Reaching in now with her hand

Pulling the tiny doll by the arm,

vivā vivamus,

She gnaws on the flesh

Her skin cracks

Slowly she peels it off

Like a larva transforming

Revealing her stolen youth

She is free once again

From an immense weight.

Author's Note

Reviews would be highly appreciated for this is my first poem written. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Lexy]

Wow.
I do like the flow of this, I like the imagery, I like "Like a larva transforming/revealing her stolen youth."

yikes. well done. :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, this is your first poem written? I hope you realize you're an amazing writer. I'll read more of your work in the future for sure! Great use of vocabulary and the flow of the poem eases beautifully. Great job, Josh :)


Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words. I like poetry that you must take apart to understand. Your poem open the door to thoughts and good vision. I like your use of language and the very good ending. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Tai Ryens]

This is a very deep pice about self hatred; or at least that is how I see it. It is amazingly expressed and written, especially the fact that you state she refers to her skin as 'immense weight.' You are a natural writer, Josh, and you should hone your skills at poetry.