Death

Just collecting thoughts on mortality after the death of a loved one.

What if i died today?

Would you miss me?

Would you cry?

Look to the heavens screaming why? 

Would you be sad?

Would grief drive you mad? 

Why avoid questions on mortality?

This is life's brutal reality.

Would you ask how I died?

Or talk about how hard i tried?

Would you contemplate the uncertainty

Of my soul spinning in eternity?

What if i died today?

Would you miss me?

Author's Note

Forgive my spelling please

Reviews

[barleygirl]

It seems like you are expressing the natural human need to be significant in someone else's life. It seems this is the questioning of an insecure person, someone who doesn't feel his/her existence is worthwhile unless it's meaningful to someone else. You've done a good job of painting this questioning in a realistic way. This is how many people probably feel, craving some significance.

It feels a little sad to me, that this is a one-way expression . . . what is the narrator willing to share about the other person being addressed? If the narrator wants to feel valued, then why not also value the other person being addressed? Love is a give-and-take thing. The one-sided-ness of these thoughts & feelings may be the reason why this narrator pushes people away, then is left wondering & feeling insecure like this.

[Joshua Lyndon O'shaughnessy]

You raised a point i did not not even consider i wrote this after reading about the death of a drug addict and was hit by the fact that the police had no one to inform and it struck me that no one seemed to care about this person and the isolation they must have felt

[barleygirl]

This poem feels even more sad, now that I know what inspired you to write it! Good job capturing this basic human need . . . to matter to someone!

[Tamika]

This is well written, I especially like the rhyming and how you didn't just rhyme the common/simple words but quite larger ones too, such as mortality with reality and uncertainty with eternity. It shows skill. Well done on this piece, I enjoyed it. My condolences to you also.