Okay

Piece 4 in "Who Says You're Not Perfect?" "I Do."

I sat in my jet black suit right in the first row.  The only person I really knew nearby was my mother in a matching black dress. She was starting to tear up, but I was stone cold like the corpse. I couldn’t fathom the situation. Every event has just been a saddened blur.  I’m not even a hundred percent sure how I even got here. But there we all were, under the grey cloud of depression, sitting.

My mother lookd toward me, her make-up beginning to run, and says, “Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay.”

Okay? Okay?! That word has lost all meaning to me. The word died just like her. “I’m okay,” she said, “There’s nothing wrong,” she said.

Well if you were okay I wouldn’t be here now would I? No, you just decided to disappear and dump all your turmoil on me. What kind of friend does that?! I was there for you for five years and that’s my reward. The weight from your shoulders and a box of tainted memories. Well you won’t escape that easily.

I return my attention to my mother. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

I slowly rise up and climb through the aisle, quietly scanning the other pews. Mostly filled of mourning, crying family members. Shocking how they didn’t even know what was happening to her, or cared enough to find out, yet still have a shattered heart,

I exit the chapel and head for the parlor. The parlor, like the past month, was a unrecognizable blur.I finally get into the bathroom and clench the sink. I stare at my feet and mutter “Okay….okay….okay…” repeatedly.

I reach into my jacket pocket, and pull out a bottle of pills. I pop off the cap and swallow them down. Within a matter of minutes I will join her. But before the finale of my demise I choke out,

I’ll be okay now

Author's Note

This is one of my first free writes. I would like to mention I am sound of mind, don't panic.

Reviews

[Hannah Fishburn]

Oh man I cried. This really touched me. I'm assuming that the MC is at the funeral of a friend, deceased by suicide? Oh, its so sad and really moved me. Really, well done. Very emotional. The stream of consciousness is really effective, and the short couple paragraphs tells a long story of suffering. I love it

[Bluemerlin]

Very good stream of thought, almost second-person perspective. You switch tenses, and there are typoes galor, but the content is painfully pleasant to read. It is, however, perhaps a bit short? Maybe not, but it does feel like there could be a bit more Catcher-In-The-Rye-esque expository, or something to season the dish. Just my opinion though, take it with a lump of salt. Cheers.

[SierraT]

I like the emotion, how you can feel just how heavy and upset the character feels. I also like how you worked on assumption, you never actually said it was a funeral or gave any details but we still get it. Well done.