Lament of a dying soldier

Probably not that good... just thought I'd submit it anyway, see how you guys liked it...

He met with the sword;

like a flash of light,

it punched through his stomach.

driven with great might.

And as he fell, his blood

pooling on the ground,

he landed hard in the mud.

and as his life fell away,

he quietly whispered:

"I have wronged you, O

men of the homeland I

once called my own."

And, as he bled and death was nigh;

his thoughts returned to his homeland:

"Oh, goodbye, cruel world,"

he whispered into the night.

"From my home I've turned,

I never should have tried."

He remembered as he died

the world he'd leave behind.

and the innocents he had broken

in body and in mind.

And with his last breath, he said,

"I am sorry, my brothers."

At last with clarity, he thought

as his voice collapsed into murmurs

of pain and of sorrow, 

asking "What has god wrought?"

Reviews

[Goodbye]

I could have sworn I reviewed this...

I really loved this great ode!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Awe this was sad. It kind of reminded me of when we read MacBeth is school. I liked this poem better than MacBeth actually...anyways...I liked that I could feel like he felt as he lay dying. Thanks for sharing. :D

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a painful sadness that moves through this scene of death.. the lingering wonderings of one passing from the world.. the misgivings and remorse. Your words raise such gripping questions.

[Kayla]

This was really good and really powerful!! Very sad though!! Good write!!

[Coyote Poetry]

Soldier do respect other Soldiers in peace time. They know the hardship of a Soldier life. They give up a lot. Even sometimes their life. I like the poem. In the foxhole with death very close. God become a close friend. I like the many strong lines in this poem. We all want forgiveness at the end. A powerful poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[.]

. very well written ... it's not easy being a dying soldier ... i've known a lot of people in the armed forces ... and it must have been pretty tough writing about it too ...