I'm going to aspire to be a peasant squirming in a cage, then I will not be unsuccessful; when I become more of a peasant on my own, I hope there will be people that I love, I will begin today. I will remember that that is what I have been always in truth and not glossy myself.
Wonderful word choice, practically all-around, "Bashful west" was one of my favorites. The entire last two stanzas are wonderfully crafted to create a poetic image of a sunset. The first three stanzas, however, led me somewhere else that the last two stanzas don't follow, at least in my mind. Either more connection might help or pulling them into two different poems, perhaps, but right now it's not working together.
I'm going to aspire to be a peasant squirming in a cage, then I will not be unsuccessful; when I become more of a peasant on my own, I hope there will be people that I love, I will begin today. I will remember that that is what I have been always in truth and not glossy myself.
I really loved the closing stanza, that is a place I know well and never could put it into words but you did it! wish I had wrote that! Clever and dare I say deep...I hate using that phrase but it applies in this case since I could never put it to words myself. Impressive!
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Hey thanks a lot! Its a place we all should know! I'm sure you could have written it but thanks for .. read moreHey thanks a lot! Its a place we all should know! I'm sure you could have written it but thanks for the awesome comment!