Endless Poem

free write, just wrote it last night along with three others, hope you like it feel free to comment

As the drought

doubtful land rose

it rolled and

rolled

in elegant wraps

As people dream

of roads

and peasants

squirm in cages

Tender streets

nodded in rain

elegant thieves

shifted in sheets

The bashful west

Don’t you know

the stars are out?

The mad little stars

and…

at the end of my street

comes an…

endless poem.

Reviews

[Laura Lynn]

I'm going to aspire to be a peasant squirming in a cage, then I will not be unsuccessful; when I become more of a peasant on my own, I hope there will be people that I love, I will begin today. I will remember that that is what I have been always in truth and not glossy myself.

[Thyme13]

Wonderful word choice, practically all-around, "Bashful west" was one of my favorites. The entire last two stanzas are wonderfully crafted to create a poetic image of a sunset. The first three stanzas, however, led me somewhere else that the last two stanzas don't follow, at least in my mind. Either more connection might help or pulling them into two different poems, perhaps, but right now it's not working together.

[Patricia]

I really loved the closing stanza, that is a place I know well and never could put it into words but you did it! wish I had wrote that! Clever and dare I say deep...I hate using that phrase but it applies in this case since I could never put it to words myself. Impressive!

[Solitary_Streets]

Hey thanks a lot! Its a place we all should know! I'm sure you could have written it but thanks for the awesome comment!