A Blue, Blue Love
A Poem by
Jordan Easley
A mimic of "A Red Red Rose" by Robert Burns
An ocean is like a blue, blue love Pale, cold, and seldom touched An ocean is full of letting go But I love you too much You're beautiful, I love you and, It's hard to just let go I'll love you till the world is done, Long as the rivers flow Till this ocean dries up, I fear That we can't go on like this It's time to say good-bye to love Your kisses I'll always miss So take these words, take them well, Lock them away in a bin But this ocean sits before us Let's hold our breath and jump in
© 2012 Jordan Easley
Author's Note
I wrote this as a mimic of "A Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns. I give credit to him. What do you think?
Reviews
What a nice poem! It is so meaningful, so powerful! Great word choice and it is such a wonderful idea to write a poem about! Excellent write!
Posted 12 Years Ago
Nice write! Love the last stanza!
Posted 12 Years Ago
Nice write! Love the last stanza!
really nice meaning to it:) its cute:)
Posted 12 Years Ago
really nice meaning to it:) its cute:)
This was very good, I like it when writers challenge themselves to do something different and you succeeded.
Posted 12 Years Ago
This was very good, I like it when writers challenge themselves to do something different and you succeeded.
I really like this, especially the first stanza. Very metaphoric, good piece!
Posted 12 Years Ago
I really like this, especially the first stanza. Very metaphoric, good piece!
Excellent. I can relate to this, the emotions are familiar to me. I loved it.
Posted 12 Years Ago
Excellent. I can relate to this, the emotions are familiar to me. I loved it.
This is a good poem & flowed well. It was an interesting concept to work off of another poem. I had to go read the original because I was unfamiliar with it, but now that I have I can compare the two.
I think the original can lend a lot of it's success to the fact that it uses a lot of voice; the way it's written you can just hear what the speaker sounds like. Bits like "Till a’ the seas gang dry" and "sand o' life" give the reader a glimpse into the speaker's voice. This might be something to try next time. Also, Robert Burns uses repetition very effectively. Try writing the same line twice, with only minor tweaks, to emphasize something, as he does near the end.
Don't get me wrong though, this piece was well written and I liked your style. The message was powerful and delivered effectively. Well done, I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Posted 12 Years Ago
This is a good poem & flowed well. It was an interesting concept to work off of another poem. I had to go read the original because I was unfamiliar with it, but now that I have I can compare the two.
I think the original can lend a lot of it's success to the fact that it uses a lot of voice; the way it's written you can just hear what the speaker sounds like. Bits like "Till a’ the seas gang dry" and "sand o' life" give the reader a glimpse into the speaker's voice. This might be something to try next time. Also, Robert Burns uses repetition very effectively. Try writing the same line twice, with only minor tweaks, to emphasize something, as he does near the end.
Don't get me wrong though, this piece was well written and I liked your style. The message was powerful and delivered effectively. Well done, I look forward to seeing more of your work.
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436 Views
7 Reviews
Added on July 12, 2012
Last Updated on July 12, 2012
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