It Should Be So Easy

A first person perspective into the life of a teenage male who does not want to have sex with his girlfriend because he feels like that would be degrading her and causing her to mean less to him.

It Should Be So Easy

Headlights all shining in one direction.
Cars lined up in a row. Pressure, lots of pressure.
I gazed into the window of the surrounding cars, only to find what I expected.
Drivers and passengers engaged in a lip lock. I followed the mindless flock
And grabbed Rachael up in my arms, I'm sure it was of no harm,
And followed the crowd. I pressed my lips to hers.
We'd finished, still not a word.
Rachael giggled and loosened her blouse, smiling.
I held her, still denying. I stopped her.
"No," I breathed and kissed her again.
I wanted to say yes. I hesitated. Should I do it?
The kiss ended and she stuck out her lip in a pout.
She started to lift her shirt. I stopped her with a, "Cut it out".
She pressed her body against mine; and I knew it was only a matter of time
Before I caved in to my rapacious greed and accepted her.
No, I thought, I won't hurt her.
I pushed her away and glared at her.
She scowled at me and crossed her arms.
She looks so childish, I thought. I smiled.
So cute.
I kissed her on her cheek. "I love you," I cooed in her ear.
"Then take me," she replied. "No," I said simply.
I pushed a strand of hair off her forehead.
My stomach felt like I had swallowed lead.
I knew I wanted her, and bad; but no was still my answer.
I loved her too much.
To reduce her to that would be a crime
At time and place she was simply, mine.
She was more than a lover:
She was my love.
I knew she'd be angry at me, but it was worth it.
She meant way too much to me.
It should be so easy to say yes, I thought.
But I couldn't. I wouldn't.
She wrapped her arms around my neck.
She gave me a long kiss and I felt like a wreck.
The look in her eyes said it all.
She wanted me, and I was about to fall
into the deep hole that is lust.
It was too early.
I wanted our first time to be...special.
As special as Rachael was to me.
She was better than...
Better than life...Better than love.
I observed the other cars. They were all going to the "next level".
I turned back to Rachael.
I wanted her so bad.
No, I told myself, that's greedy of me.
But I had to admit, she did look lovely.
Her dark brown hair blowing in the wind.
!"What a wonderfully beautiful night.
She ruffled her eyebrows in frustration, obviously in thought.
I looked at her puzzled expression. A tear fell down her cheek.
I wiped it off and pulled her face to mine. I kissed her.
She lowered her gaze.
I lightly tugged on her chin and stared into her eyes.
The truth was so obvious that I gasped in surprise.
"Why wont you...you know?" she asked, forcing a smile.
"Is it because...you're just, not attracted to me?"
Now tears were falling down uncontrollably.
"No!" I said, raising my voice.
"I'm in love with you, and it's my choice!
I'm very attracted to you and you just don't know
How much I'm going through not to let it show!"
I turned away from her, hurt.
She tugged at my arm, I turned to her.
She kissed me with passion, and tried to casually unbutton her shirt.
I stopped her, becoming alert.
I grabbed her hands and lowered them down. I rested my hands on her cheeks and kissed her forehead.
"That's it!" she wined. "You didn't make your move you're out of time!
I'm moving on to someone new. Someone...not like you.
You're too good for me..."
I put my finger to her lips.
"Sssssshhh" I whispered softly.
I told her she was right.
She gasped, surprised.
I told her to prepare herself
for the night of her life.
I accepted her.
It should have been so easy
And it was.

Author's Note

This is one of my earliest pieces. Any review would be appreciated.

Reviews

[Chris]

What I really like is you corrected the typo demureminds spoke about.

A fair story, good flow. You didn't overly moralize - left the shades of gray for readers to deal with. The dialogue was a bit 'flat' but seemed pretty much age appropriate. It will be interesting to see where and how you grow.

[RJS]

Like the entire concept. you kept the theme going till the end. Well done.

[Barbara Walker]

...she wined, should be, she whined..great to see a young man have such depth of feeling for himself and his girlfriend. In a way, after she whined and threatened to find someone else, I was disappointed that he went against his promise. But for a young man to have that much strength, that much intestinal fortitude, is asking for a bit much. However, I loved the part when she said you're too good for me and the answer was , I told her she was right.
I enjoyed reading this piece.

[writingcrazy55555]

Excellent poem! I loved the fact that you told a story in the form of a poem. That was very intersting. You also displayed an extensive knowledge of vocabulary. Great job! :)

[J]

wow! really? kids still do this? [kidding] funny how every generation believes they are the pioneers of such behavior that has really been going on since time out of mind ...

however! at 15, i'm amazed [and gratified] at your grasp of the weightiness of such a forward step in a relationship ~~ not only for her, but for yourself, as well. such selflessness and determination are a rare occurrence these days. i suspect you will do well in life. :)

additionally, you've got a great start on an extraordinary vocab goin on. keep up with that! truly!

[demureminds]

A story within a poem, nice. I really liked the message behind his intentions, it was sweet. I think there is a typo though: "I knew she'd be angry at me, but ti was worth it." ti to *it?

[Jordan Easley]

Thanks, I didn't see that. Thank you for the review :)

[Xerclipse]

well this is a great love story. But when she said that she will move onto someone else, I was expecting more difficulty in the relationship. But fortunately, it got back on track.

[Jordan Easley]

Yeah. I kinda wanted it to be like the reason that they got back together was that the guy was unwillingly to lose her so he did the thing that he promised himself he would never do to her.

[Xerclipse]

well Love is not simple. but it can test out who you really are. Would you go through your instincts or would you keep your promise?