Faster than Sixty Miles Per Hour

We all punish ourselves 

Inadvertently and with intention 

It's not by chance 

That I never seem to get enough sleep

No one's ever accidentally punched a hole in the wall 

Or destroyed a relationship they didn't think they deserved 

When things go so right, it's our nature to want it wrong

Happiness is diluted by a need to suffer, an itch for misery

Flying down a gravel road at ninety miles an hour 

Obsessing over other's interpretations of our mistakes

Falling victim to patterns of well-disguised adversity 

These are the ways the people I love compensate 

I'm sure we're all just the smallest bit scared

That a teeny-tiny part of us is rotten

But what we really fear more than that

Is that this rotten core will spread from the inside out 

If our faults are all that we are

Then I am 160 pounds of interpersonal shortcomings 

And everyone I've ever loved

Is inherently evil

The good in us cannot fix the vile lining of our bones

However, it can make us all a little easier to stomach

Still, I find that we are all at our best in small portions

A glossy portrait overruled by social norms rather than heart

Let society speak for us

They don't know the real me, but maybe they shouldn't

I cannot let myself ruin the character that I play for others

Acting ends when my audience is unconvinced 

Am I trying not to hurt others?

Or am I only acting in self-interest

Paving the road that I am doomed to walk 

With golden bricks that me and only me knows to be artificial 

Still, I am selfish and impulsive to a fault

My dad doesn't like me driving faster than sixty miles per hour

He stopped smoking for me once, when I was young

But I find that for all that I am worth, I cannot take my foot off the gas