Fiske & Oberlin

I’m not sure what it is about walking

in shoes that rub your heel bone

just enough to make small red marks

discovered only by close inspection

against cloudy white light from

sagging glass window panes,

but it can stop time.

 

circling blocks covered in rain soaked reds, oranges lighter than

embers flicked off butts cigarette by lighters, but twice as temporary.

lighter than air, steps lose their purpose

as the rhythmic bipedal motion begins to feel like floating.

 

small red marks, 

the only evidence that any time has passed at all

keep record like historians,

as every single corner for a mile radius is turned

and overturned like a child looking for sea shells.

 

calm white breath forming on the edge

of your lips as you sit and stare at your heels

in the cloudy white light from

sagging glass window panes.

 

a single drop of blood pools, and drips

onto recently mopped dark tile floor.

 

“how was your walk?”

Reviews

[Archia]

I loved this, I thought it was amazing frankly and I am rarely taken by poetry. There was just something about it, simple words being used to create something complex. There was something honest about it too, something I could somehow relate to in a way. It was wonderful.

[Jonathan W]

wow, thank you for your kind words. I am glad it spoke to you!

[Vria P Crow]

CONTENT AND FORMAT

Walking leaves us time with our thoughts. Unlike other forms of exercise, walking is less strenuous. Therefore, we are left in a pensive state. Red marks on the speaker's ankles symbolizes sinister thoughts. Others expect a stroll outside to be calming, but I have discovered troubles find you attempt to distract yourself. I enjoyed the ending since it common for small talk. The speaker probably responded with an expected answer, "It was fine." However, I am sure there is an insidious backstory given the atmosphere; the cigarettes, fall, and so on.

CONCLUSION

Overall, I am attracted to the subtly of one walking during autumn. It is known that writers tend to have inspiration when Fall strikes. Thank you for sharing!

sincerely,
ria

[ReedWrite]

This piece is so unusual...so thought-provoking. There are layers and layers, if one takes the time to look beneath the surface. My favorite line is: as every single corner for a mile radius is turned and overturned like a child looking for sea shells. The imagery in the piece is beautiful, and yet it's not comfortable. I like that. A lot. Great poem. Thank you for sharing.

[Jonathan W]

extremely kind words. (my favorite line as well).

[. serah .]

~ the images in this piece are so intricate and so expressive... ~ i am reminded of the two red patches on my palms... earned by placing them on my keyboard for way too long... and so i am familiar with the feeling of there being no other evidence of the passage of time... ~ this is an incredibly rewarding read, monsieur jonathan... i rarely get to read something that reminds me of my life so much...