Wander From The north

A short poem, but looks like a short story. written for someone i only meet once, but that one time meeting was enough for me to make this.

Born a wander, but never lost a child of the cold north with a smile that could worm a nation. She’s an adventure of those dark places in need of light. nothing hinders her, and adversity propels her. She is like a light on to those she saves, she’s the girl you meet in a nightmare when lost and scared; praying for help and she comes with light to save you. This kind of woman is truly one and a million, the rarest flower in the world. Never plucked by the hands of man, and I heard it said once that only god could pick such astonishing beauty. One could describe her as a once in a lifetime moment, but once was enough for that one time could change you. There's a peace about her, and if I guessed she could lead one to peace. She is a friend, a mother, a teacher, and sister to all who would have her. Her name is blank and past is unknown, but her future is bright, the path before her is long, and full of hopeful light.

Author's Note

let me know what you think good or bad it's how we learn and get better.

Reviews

[Threads]

Alright, well first off I just want to say that I really like this poem. There are, however, a lot of parts that stick out and are eyesores to be quite frank. Since you sent me a read request I'll help you out with giving an honest critique of the poem!

Alright so first off there are a lot of unusual word choices, which throws me off. (Examples: "wander" instead of "wanderer"; "worm a nation" vs "warm a nation"; an apparent typo, but could be intended: "adventure") Unusual word choices, forms of words or unusual punctuation can be very useful literary devices in that they force the reader to think. But if they are very common, or come off as typos, then they lose their value. Fix what you deem to be incorrect based on that, and I'll take a look at this again. Maybe some of the "mistakes" were intended, in which case my apologies. It's a poet's freedom to experiment with rules. Unfortunately I feel that it just gave the writing a rushed look this time.
Sorry for the harsh review, but I hope it is helpful.
-Threads

[tekke]

No need to be sorry, it was rushed and there are a lot of mistakes in it i uploaded so i could get a honest critique of it, which has been hard lately and hopefully improve on it. so your review was very helpful and a good insight into what i should be working on . As always your review is greatly appreciated.