No such problem

my struggle with alcohol

 

 

It wouldn’t be a problem,

if it weren’t such a problem.

“Just a few” uttered by many others ad nauseum.

“Why don’t you....” fill in the blanks with your own suggestion.

Because you either understand or you never really will.

“No, I’m not” slurred to so many of those I love.

Quick while no one’s looking.

Just one last pull.

Planning ahead to make sure I don’t run out.

“How much do you drink” goes the joke,

“All of it” too true to be a punchline.

Very little I’ve ever felt can feel like this. 

Nothing has ever cost me so much.

But still there will always be 

a part of me

that would pay the price again and again and again.

 

 

Author's Note

I listed this under "Autobiographical"

Reviews

[DavidRyan]

This is very well written. I love the line where its, "How much do you drink?" goes the joke...that was brilliant and all too-telling. Many relationships have been ruined because of my drinking habits and I finally have it under enough control, but still ruin friendships with the things I let escape my mouth, or just march out of my mouth without my giving the okay. I don't see anything wrong with this - writing-wise - and I applaud you for having the courage to be so honest. Takes a man to admit problems and wrongdoings and you did it creatively. Thanks for bringing my attention to this.

[Sleepless]

Brilliant and truthful. I loved it for it's frank openness and humor. Great job!

[GYPSYLEAH]

I feel like a peeping tom, but you invited me in with the truth of your words, so why feel guilty? I think it's because we all have (or at least most) our addictions in some shade or form. I know I do and guard it like a true slave, maybe that's why I feel invasive. I Love the first words, "It wouldn't be a problem, if it weren't such a problem. I Really enjoyed this. Not always easy to share feelings and our lives in general with family/friends, much less the world - And you did it so well, nice writing!!

[Last Lying Look]

I really like this.
I can relate and this is amazingly written.
My favorite part is;
"How much do you drink" goes the joke,
"All of it" too true to be a punchline.
Great write!
-Elissa :)

[lark]

Wow, you've got a lot of critiques... And while I'm not fond of being mobbed by angry fans, I have to say I'm not too keen on this one.
It seems choppy--more like a short monologue cut up at logical-looking end points. The thoughts don't quite flow together, which (to give you the benefit of the doubt) might be to amplify the subject of alcoholism... But given that the voice doesn't sound alcoholic, I would say the disjointedness is irrelevant (or something). Here are where the thoughts seem to break, in my opinion:

It wouldn't be a problem,
if it weren't such a problem.

"Just a few" uttered by many others ad nauseum.

"Why don't you...." fill in the blanks with your own suggestion.
Because you either understand or you never really will.

"No, I'm not" slurred to so many of those I love.

Quick while no one's looking.
Just one last pull.

Planning ahead to make sure I don't run out.

"How much do you drink" goes the joke,
"All of it" too true to be a punchline.

Very little I've ever felt can feel like this.
Nothing has ever cost me so much.
But still there will always be
a part of me
that would pay the price again and again and again.


I would suggest first deciding whether you want the voice and composition to match the subject, or not. If not, then rearrange this someway that it flows...


Buuuut anyway :P
Like your other critics have said, it's honest, which is nice to read every once in awhile :)

[Snuggles McClintock]

are you a drinker with a writing problem??

[raining]

the poems written part is good. ...ha. well, my exgirlfriend (who remains friend) has had the same alcohol problem. so having lived with it five yrs, and feeling not a bit angry, just feeling sort of wronged by what the stuff (alcohol) does to both of us...well from that perspective having lost her and our closeness because of it... i can only comisserate. I hope you are reaching bottom, a terrible thing to say perhaps, but the only way back is all the way back, and if you aren't all the way down you miss some of the trip... hope you arent angy, i am not being self righteous.... good poem, raining (Keith Martell)

[Barbara Walker]

That is gut wrenching honesty-"there will always be a part of me that would pay the price again and again and again." It's honest, without being maudlin. You sum it all up in one flowing package that conveys the merry-go-round of drinking, hiding drinking, being drunk, rationalizing, and what it has cost you. You wrote it well! Barbara eyepoetress

[John A Common]

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one man. I really dig your style with this one, you wrote this in a very clever way. I think all of us drunks pay the price again and again and again. Great job man.

[Ligeia]

The first two lines are quite clever, almost humorous.
I like that.
It's a great start to a wonderful poem.

I love that you can be so honest in your writing, it's very admirable.

"Quick while no one's looking.
Just one last pull."
I think these lines are the most truthful, mainly because it's easy to recognize there is a problem
when you find the need to hide it from those you love.
At least, that's what my experience has taught me.

You ended the poem quite nicely, it leaves the reader to think.
I believe that although many people who read this won't have an alcohol problem,
they can still find ways to connect because they pay their own price over and over again.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for pointing me in the direction of this work.

[Sorry Infamous]

hard hitting, unforgiving. Every word is so real. Brilliant.