Real/Famous

a poem about true love

 I long for my Maria, my Juliette to hold.

 

There’s so much I’ve not done yet, and I’m feeling rather old.

 

My Isolde, my Helena, my Penelope or Heloise.

 

I look upon my life and I find not one of these.

 

I admit the names above required just a tad research,

 

and I see what I’ve requested in my recent Google search.

 

More than 40 million options under “famous stories love”.

 

Seems I need to make some changes to the search words from above.

 

I admit the recognition and the irony I feel,

 

not one name above is mentioned when I change “famous” to “real”.

 

Author's Note

It is difficult for me to be objective on this one.....is this cheesy?????

Reviews

[Phoenix]

No, it's not cheesy! At least I dont think so. It was kind of a kick in the stomach once you get to the last line. I thought it was very well done!

[Al Tietjen]

I've read through all your posted poems. I admire anyone who attempts this form. I'm not an avid poetry reader, but there are some things I like to find when I do. Rhythm is very important to me. This poem was a well-worked out thought, but I think it needs some refinement of rhythm, particularly if you're going to use rhyming couplets. It was a bit choppy to me, and I kept putting the syllabic emphasis in the wrong place and screwing up the count. The phrasing felt forced in some places to keep the rhyme.

I think poetry is tough. Finding words which naturally flow together is a true art, if not a gift.

[zaney]

I think it's quite the opposite of cheesy - it's a unique take on a theme that can lean toward cheesy. It's not stiff or forced, even though the rhyme scheme can sometimes do that.

You used the rhyme scheme well. I liked it very much.