I need your guidance

A poem about a broken down girl who looks to God for strength to build herself back up.

If I lock up all my flaws

Will you happen to see

The layers I piled

To hide what's inside of me

When I lie to myself

Will you promise to be

The one I can trust

To set my soul free

Where I bottle my shame

Is a place well unknown

To the world around me

To this life that I'm prone

How you look to my strength

As if I'm so much more

Will disappoint you soon

Unraveling my hollow core

You're the one who knows me best

You're the only one who can see the truth

So, please share with me my flaws

On a plate of my passed youth

Help me seek the beauty

That you've seen all along

And help me find the light

To the path where I belong

Convince me with your eyes

That what you see is true

Lead me with your guidance

I only want to see it from you

Reviews

[spiritwind]

This poem has so much charm that I am smitten with it!
Excellent write and excellent message, Jolie!

[Kaylor Mason]

This is wonderful. I love how the girl looks to God to build her up, rather than someone or something else. Too many people miss that, and subsequently end up worse than they started

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

This is great poem, begging to be a wonderful song. It just needs a set of bridge lines; a message with punch that summarizes the whole thing. If you had to pick out a set or two for this "bridge" which ones would they be? I hear the music in my head (nothing that has been mentioned thus far) I just need those bridge lines to make it work; to make it complete. Waiting for version #2. Hope you like country. :)

[Jolie Blossom]

Thank you! For all the great advice you left on my poems. Some of them are not really my best pieces but I still wanted to put them up anyway do I could go back later and work on them. I will definitely consider your advice. :). This could be a cool song, and I do love country. I just have a hard time coming up with the music. I can write lyrics and play other songs but when it comes to making my own music on guitar that's where I get stumped. :( do you play at all??

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Heh! I've been known to put a few notes on paper before. Do you read music? Perhaps it would be fun to try and set this to music once you come up with the bridge. But, you'll need to take care of the performance. My voice sounds like two cats on the back fence at midnight. ;-)

[Steven Cash]

Ah this reminds me of the song 'Does Anybody Hear Her' by Casting Crowns..

[Jolie Blossom]

omg i lovee that song! thank you

[Steven Cash]

no problem

[Steven Cash]

Really, that's the only song by CC I like lol

[Jolie Blossom]

yeah, i like a lot by them. :)

[Steven Cash]

lol we need to message & chat about bands and music and stuff

[Jolie Blossom]

okay! message comin up now lol

[Steven Cash]

:) gr8 can't w8

[Laura Maidah]

It reads like the most beautiful prayer I've ever read.

[Jolie Blossom]

Aww, thanks SO much! I really try to write from the deepest place..sometimes it turns out okay, lol. But I do feel very close to this one in particular.

[Laura Maidah]

Is it a prayer? Just curious.

[Jolie Blossom]

I didn't write it with intent to be a prayer. But prayer can be anything that we feel on the inside, so it can be. :) It's just how I felt when I wrote it.