Anxious Days

I've spent a lot of time by the coast recently. I see the beach being slowly engulfed by the rising tide as time goes by. The ever-flowing currents of salty water that has been keeping me tied up in terror for as long as I've lived. Water. How can someone enjoy the feeling of water upon their skin? I feel anxious every time I see it. Maybe this fear is connected to my other great fear. Maybe my fear of water is trigging my fear of rejection? I reject water, and maybe I sympathize with the water. As soon as it approaches me, I run. I freak out. The anxiety is too much for me. I wonder how the water feels. I bet it feels like I do when human beings back off as soon as I close up to them. Loneliness. Anxiety. Reduced self esteem. Maybe that's why I isolate myself like this. I lack the courage to face my fears and even try to overcome it. Maybe.