Shopping

  I opened the passenger side of the truck for Gloria; she sat down gracefully and smiled. I closed the door and got in on the driver’s side.

   ’Have you decided where you want to eat at?’

   ’I was thinking maybe Denny’s, unless you would like to go somewhere else.’

   ’Conner I wasn’t planning on eating remember.’

   ’Yeah that’s right you don’t eat human food.’ I said like I was being stuck up.

   ’That’s right I don’t, unless they’ve added people to their seniors menu.’

  I snickered. It was so hard for me to picture Gloria as old. She had turned sixty this year. I was dating a senior citizen.

   I decided to hit the Denny’s on Fourth Avenue down by the stadiums. Gloria waited for me to come around and open her door for her. I held out my hand to help her out of the truck, not that she needed it. Gloria expected me to be a gentleman, so I did my best.

  I held the front door open for her as we entered the restaurant. One of the waitresses greeted us, well Gloria anyways. The waitress was older, I would have guessed in her forties. She seemed very plain; she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.

   ’One?’ she asked Gloria.

   ’Two please.’ Gloria had corrected.

  I grumbled under my breath. Gloria reach out and took my hand, in her eyes she told me not to worry about it. I could feel myself getting irritated with the waitress already. First, she thought I wasn’t good enough to be with Gloria, second she assumed we wouldn’t mind being crammed next to a bunch of other people. She had led us to a table that had several groups of people sitting with in ear shot of us. One of the groups had three noisy kids with them.

   ’Will this be ok?’

   ’Actually no this won’t be, can we have a booth over on there on the side of the restaurant where nobody’s sitting?’

  I don’t understand what waitresses’ fascination with trying to cram as many groups of people into the smallest amount of space. Gloria’s voice brought me back from my rant in my head.

   ’Conner is a veteran, so it’s hard for him sometimes to be in close proximity with other people. So if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could we have a booth with a little more privacy?’

   ’Oh sure, that won’t be any trouble at all.’

  The waitress took us to the empty side of the restaurant.

   ’Is this better for you?’

   ’Yes I’m sure this will be perfect, Thank you.’ Gloria could work some charm.

   ’Can I get you two something to drink?’

   ’Conner I’m sure will want a Coke, and I’ll take a large glass of water. You want a Coke right baby?’

   ’A Coke will be fine.’

   ’One water and one Coke. Oh, thank you for serving.’

   ’You welcome; it was a privilege that I am very proud of.’

  The waitress walked off to get our drinks. I hated when people thanked me for serving. I don’t know why, I guess it’s like people feel that they should say something. For the most part they’re content to ignore the war, but then when they meet someone who was there, they feel guilty or something. People’s thank you always seem more like, ‘sorry I didn’t notice your sacrifice and now I’m embarrassed.’

   ’Are you done being grouchy?’

   ’What? I’m sorry I was far away.’

   ’I know, that’s why I asked if you were done being grouchy. I could tell that the distant land you mind was visiting was making you grouchy.’

   ’Sorry.’ I scowled, and shook my head.

  The waitress brought our drinks to us. She had seen we hadn’t touched our menus.

   ’Are we ordering this morning?’

  I could tell she was doing her best to be polite after getting a dose of Conner grouchiness.

  I took a deep breath and said, ’I would like the moons over my hammy, hash browns and a side of bacon.’

   ’I won’t be eating, I unlike some people stick to very strict diet.’ Gloria winked at the waitress as she spoke.

   ‘Ok, if you change your mind let me know.’

   ‘I will thank you.’ The waitress, who name I never caught went to put our order in.

   ‘Do you mind telling me why your mood as changed?’

   ‘The waitress, she pissed me off.’

   ‘How?’

   ‘Well she didn’t think I was with you, like I wasn’t good enough. Then she wanted to put us by them noisy a*s kids and when I didn’t want to sit there she got an attitude with me. What? Why are you smiling at me for?’

   ‘Conner, the only one who had an attitude was you my love.’

  I just scowled. I knew she was probably right, which irritated me.

   ‘Conner come here.’

  I leaned over the table, Gloria wanted a kiss and no matter how grouchy I was there was no way I would turn down a kiss from Gloria.

   ‘Now that kiss was to kiss away your grouchiness. Deal?’

   ‘Sure.’

   ‘Tell me about your parents.’

   ‘Well, my mom passed after my second tour. My dad passed away last year.’

   ‘I’m sorry.’

   ‘Do you have brothers or sister?’

   ‘Two brothers, both older.’

   ‘So what’s their story?’

   ‘One is married and lives in Kentucky, the other is married and lives here in

Seattle. We’re not really close.’

   ‘Do you not want to talk about your family?’

   ‘My family isn’t that exciting. I haven’t seen the one brother that’s out of state in like seven years. The other I’ve seen once sense I’ve been home.’

   ‘Well what would you like to talk about then?’

   ‘You, I would like to hear more about you.’

   ‘And I would like to hear about you.’ Gloria said with her beautiful smile.

   ‘Okay, quid pro quo. When did you figure out you were a vampire?’

  Gloria smiled to herself as she thought about the past.

   ‘Conner I don’t know if I want to talk to you about this, it has to do with feeding.

I’m not sure if I’m okay with talking to you about, well you know. I don’t want you to see me like that.’

   ‘Gloria, I know you’re a vampire, I know what vampires eat, kind of, the cow threw me for a loop. What can I say; I’m morbidly fascinated about it. But you

don’t have to worry about me thinking badly about you. I know you’ve been a

vampire for over forty years, and I know how you feel about feeding on animals.’

  Gloria place her forehead on the table,

   ’Are going to make me talk about this?’

   ’Gloria this is a part of who you are, and from what I learned about you I don’t think you went around feeding on small children or anything.’

   ’Yeah, that was a pretty good guess. I went after pedophile types.’

   ‘Is that why you were up at the collage?’

   ‘Yeah, but I would go to bars too, or any place that I could find older guys that like high school girls. I would play up the young school girl fantasy.’

   ’Did that make it easier for you to kill?’

   ’I wish you wouldn’t say it like that, I try not to look at prey as people.’

   ’So what would you do?’

   ’Conner I wish you wouldn’t ask me about this, but since you’re not going to drop it, I would approach men kind of like I did you.’

  Gloria was fidgeting in her seat. I’d never seen Gloria fidget before.

   ‘I would go into a place, book store a bar or like the collage.’

   ‘A bar, you have a fake ID?’

   ‘No, cute girls like me don’t need an ID to get into bars for the most part. Cute girls make men spend money.’

   ‘That’s crap.’

   ‘Don’t be jealous. Anyways, I would go to where ever I was going, trying to look as sexy as I could, then when I would catch the type of guy I wanted, I would do about what I did with you.’

   ’If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?’

  Gloria frowned; I think she knew what I was thinking.

   ’Yes I’ll tell you the truth, but before you asked, I want to say I didn’t come over to you to try and feed on you or did the thought even cross my mind.’

   ’Okay that’s what I was wondering, but I do have another question.’

   ’Quid pro quo Conner, tell me about you first ex-wife.’

   ’What do you want to know?’

   ’What was she like? Why did you two get a divorce? What did she look like, all that stuff.

   ’Well she was taller then you by about eight inches. Red hair, brown eyes. She was pretty, though she wasn’t very nice. Kind of rotten inside, I couldn’t see it, I was too much in love with her to see anything but the image that I had made up.

We were married young, I was twenty two. She was twenty. She left me for another man when I was in Iraq the first time. Well, she let me come home before she broke it off. Didn’t want to lose the free money.’

   ’That’s sad, would you like me to pay her a visit?’

   ’That’s very nice of you to ask, but no. She’s married and has a few kids now. It wouldn’t be fair to them.’

   ’Well I could take care of the kids and leave her in peace. Conner don’t look at me like that I’m so joking. Damn, sometimes you have no sense of humor.’

   ’Anyways, quid pro quo.’

   ’Shoot.’

   ’What did you think when you first saw me, you were on the hunt that day, so tell me what you thought.’

   ’I’ve already told you, I knew I would love you.’

   ’How did you know that? What about me told you that?’

  Gloria looked puzzled about my question, like she knew what I was getting at but didn’t want to let me into those thoughts.

   ’My first thought was I wished you were a vampire.’

  I was caught off guard by her answer.

   ’Really? Why?

   ’I thought you looked, like you could protect me, or if I was human, I would never have to worry about anyone bothering me.’

   ’Did you think about changing me then?’

   ’I’m not going to answer that Conner. I love you, but there’s something’s that I won’t go into, and that’s one of them. Please don’t be mad.’

   ’Why would I be mad? You never bit me, from what I can tell you’ve never even been close. So whatever you thought, you’ve respected me to be me.’

  Gloria reached out across the table to me. I took her hand in mine. We looked into each other’s eyes.

  She smiled at me and asked, ’Can you do something for me?’

   ’Of course I will.’

   ’When the waitress isn’t looking can you drink half this glass of water?’

    I chuckled and asked, ’Why?’

   ’So it won’t be weird me sitting here and you eating and drinking and I haven’t even touched my water.’

   ’I guess I could handle that. One of them boyfriend duties right?’

   ’Right, she just went into the back so chug-a-lug.’

  I took the water and drank down half of it.

   ‘Thank you my darling.’

   ‘So can you answer me another question?’

   ‘Sure.’

   ‘How did you cover your tracks when you fed?

  Gloria put her head back on the table, ’You’re going to laugh at me.’

   ’Gloria I’m not going to laugh at you. I found it wise not to irritate a vampire, they tend to throw couches.’

  Gloria look up at me and said very sarcastically, ’Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.’

   ‘Well I know that you just can’t throw the body of a older gentleman into a dumpster.’

   ‘I would get them to take me home, or to a motel. You’re going to laugh at me if

I tell you this.’

   ‘I’m not going to laugh.’ this was going to be good.

   ‘Conner I know you well enough to know that you will.’

   ‘You’re probably right; I probably will laugh, so now you have to tell me.’

   ‘Well I would sit them down and turn on some music and dance for them.’

  I could feel my face getting warm because of the laugh I was trying to keep down. On top of that though I hated to say it, it was something I wouldn’t mind seeing.

   ‘Then when I got them all worked up I would come up behind them and I would, put them in a sleeper hold till they passed out.’

  The whole restaurant turned and looked at me. I was doing well on not laughing until I pictured Gloria choking out some middle aged fat guy with a comb over. I got myself under control; I looked at Gloria and laugh quietly to myself. I took a deep breath and sighed.

   ‘Wow, that’s some straight up army s**t right there Gloria.’

   ‘Are you done laughing at me?’

   ‘I’m sorry; you can’t just drop a bomb shell like that on me. I keep think of you choking out a dude with a comb over. I’m sorry.’

   ‘Told you that you would laugh.’

   ‘Gloria you have to admit that’s funny.’

  Gloria rolled her eyes at me, ‘Quid pro quo Mr. Smarty pants.’

   ‘Okay, quid pro quo.’

   ‘Why’d you get out of the military?’

  I shifted in my seat before I could answer, ‘After my second divorce and deployment, I just didn’t have the energy for fighting anymore. I needed to take a break; the PTSD was causing me quite a bit of trouble. I was becoming over whelmed by fear, when we would go outside the wire fear would come over me so strong I could hardly think or breath. I thought my heart would exploded, but once something happened I would be okay. The last few months of the second deployment were literal hell. Then right before I came home I shot the top of a guys head off, I just couldn’t do it anymore.’

   ‘I’m so sorry.’

   ‘I still dream about that guy. Quid pro quo.’

  Just then the waitress came with my food and a second Coke.

   ‘You sure there’s nothing I can bring you honey?’

   ‘No thank you.’

  Gloria smiled a big smile at our waitress as she turned to leave. I wasted no time tearing into my breakfast. Gloria looked at me in almost horror.

   ‘What?’ I asked with a mouth full of food.

   ‘How can you eat that?’

  Gloria made a face like she would wretch.

   ‘What’s wrong with it?’

   ‘You don’t smell that?’

   ‘Smell what?’

   ‘The greasy burnt egg smell.’ Gloria stuck out her tongue in disgust.

  I took a deep breath through my nose over my plate and smile.

   ‘Smells like a heart attack. Quid pro quo, don’t you go changing the subject on me.’ I said.

  Gloria sighed.

   ‘Middle aged fat guy with a comb over is choked out. Then what?’

   ‘I would undress him and take him into the bathroom and place him in the bathtub. While he was lying there unconscious, I would open one of his wrists with a razor blade I would keep with me. Then I would let some of the blood poor into the water, and then I would feed. I would drain the water so there would be no question on the amount of blood in the water.’

   ‘But wouldn’t they notice that the tub had been drained?’

   ‘I would pull the plug again; I just hoped that they thought that the plug didn’t work so well.’

   ‘But wouldn’t the motel say they saw you?’

   ‘What would they see? Me from the car? Not that it mattered, I don’t leave finger prints, no one could ever place me in a room, or the person’s house. No one would ever see me leave. All that would be left after I fed would be a suicide.’

   ‘No wonder Seattle has such a high suicide rate. No finger prints, how do you know that?’

   ‘I can see them, and I only feed in Seattle once or twice a year.’

   ‘How often do you feed?’

   ‘Once every six to eight weeks. Depends on how busy I am. But for the most part

I only feed six to seven times a year.’

   ‘Hmmmmmm, I would have thought more after your story about running threw

Spain.’

   ‘Spain was different, I was having to use a lot of energy running across the country and then swimming the ocean. Plus, I hadn’t feed in like a month when I had taken off.’

  I sat eating my ham sandwich thinking about Gloria’s feeding habits, ‘I always thought that you would need to feed like every few days.’

   ‘I could feed every night if I wanted, but that’s just being to wasteful and dangerous. Someone would notice.’

  I raised one eyebrow at Gloria’s comment.

   ‘Other vampires wouldn’t go for that kind of feeding rampage.’

   ‘What would they do?’

   ‘Kill the idiot that’s doing it. They would gather up a hunting party and take care of it. When it comes to that kind of stuff, we tend to police ourselves.’

   ‘Has that ever happened?’

   ‘Yeah about twenty years ago.’

   ‘Did you see it happen?’

   ‘What the lynching?’

   ‘Yeah.’ I asked.

   ‘No but I was cornered by the hunting party, I was the youngest vampire around so they naturally thought it was me.’

   ‘How did you get out of it?’

   ‘They questioned me; they asked me about my hunting techniques and all that.

Some of them had come across my victims, so they were familiar with my style.’

   ’I’m surprised they didn’t rough you up when they caught you.’

   ’They did.’

  I didn’t think I wanted to hear about that part. So I didn’t ask, ’So did they find the one who was on the rampage?’

   ’Yeah, she was out of South America.’

   ’She, what did they do to her?’

   ’They burned her.’

   ’Wow. Did it kill her?’

   ’Yeah, I heard that it was terrible Conner. But here’s the thing, you don’t act up

in someone else’s territory.

   ’But I didn’t think there were established territories here like Europe, how did they justify what they did?’

   ’This is all of our territories Conner. We’re mean to each other yes, but it’s something different if someone from let’s say South America comes here. They’re not aloud; they’re too wild and out of control. The American vampires will band together to force them out.’

   ‘Hold on I’m confused, I thought the vampires were solitary?’

   ‘They are, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t work together for their common good.’

   ‘You don’t count yourself in that common good?’

   ‘No, that’s one thing they all agree on, their common dislike of me.’

   ‘Hard to believe, I wonder why that is?’ I asked chuckling.

   ‘Shush, I guess it’s survival of the fittest.’

  I downed the last of my Coke, then finished Gloria’s water, ‘Are you ready to go?’

   ‘Sure.’

  We met the waitress at the register, ’How was everything?’

  I smiled a smile that only good food can give, ’It was good thank you.’

  Gloria smile at me for trying to be polite. The waitress handed me the ticket, I checked it over and handed her my bank card. She ran it; I left a three dollar tip and a ten dollar ticket and headed towards the door holding Gloria’s hand.

  As I pulled out of the parking lot in my old blue Toyota, I knew the point of this

trip was to shop, I could already feel my stomach acid.

   ’Conner what’s wrong?’

   ’Shopping.’

   ’What’s wrong with shopping?’

   ’Well for starters I’m a guy. We have a natural dislike of malls. Second I don’t like crowds. Also I need to stop by work and let them know that I won’t be coming in tomorrow.’

   ’What are you going to tell your work?’

   ’I don’t know, but I’m going to have to think of something fast because that’s where were heading now.’

   ’Just tell them that work is causing to much trouble with school and now you’re getting a grant so you can focus completely on school. Which isn’t too far from the truth.’

   ’That works for me.’

  I was in and out of work in ten minutes. Fred didn’t seem to mind me leaving.

Gloria had left to good of a impression on him.

   ’So where to missy?’ I asked hopping back into the truck.

   ’Let’s go to the mall, we’ll start there. First thing we’re doing is finding you a nice suit.’

   ’What the hell do I need a nice suit for?’

  Without missing a beat Gloria responded, ’You’re going to start taking me to the theater. So you need to look nice when we go. Don’t scowl, I’ve never been to the theater and now that I got you, you’re taking me.’

   ’Okay, so if I take you to the theater does that mean you’ll dance for me?’ I asked looking over at Gloria out of the corner of my eye.

   ’Are you looking to get choked out?’

  I laughed.

   ’Conner can I ask you something?’

   ’Sure.’

   ’I don’t understand something, and I want you to know that I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just wish to understand.’

   ’Just ask Gloria, its okay.’

   ’Why does it bother you that you killed Iraqis, it was war right? I would think, you would have peace in that. It wasn’t like you went out killing people like

I do.’

   ‘The war I think and this is my opinion isn’t a justifiable war. The reasons that we were there, starting a war for peace is wrong. Like you’re wanting to shoot somebody, so you walk down an alley to get mugged so you have your reason. The people I fought, we brought the war to them, not the other way around.’

   ’But Conner you were a soldier, to be ordered to that place you weren’t allowed the choice to decide whether it was right or wrong, so how can you blame yourself?’

   ’Gloria, what are you asking me?’

   ’Well like me, I wasn’t given a choice to be what I am, so what does that make me? Am I a bad person because I feed?’

   ’I see what you’re getting at, I killed in war and I feel regret for taking life.’

   ’You feed, and you don’t feel anything about that. So now you’re wondering what kind of person that makes you?’

   ’Something like that.’

   ’Gloria let me tell you a story. When I was in Iraq on my first tour, I was guarding a police station. I was up on the roof wondering around watching the other roof tops, the street, outside the walls. I all of a sudden noticed a kid pointing a rifle at me from a roof top.’

   ’Oh Conner I’m sorry.’

   ’It’s not that dramatic, I didn’t kill him. Or even shoot at him. But I did raise my weapon and threaten to shoot him. It turned out what he was pointing at me was a broom stick. I could have fired on him and been justified in doing so. But just because I have the right to do something doesn’t mean I have too. You know what I mean?’

   ’So your saying, if there’s another food source I could live on maybe I should try to live on it?’

   ’All I’m saying is to thine own self be true.’

  We road in silence for a bit then I asked, ‘So how did you figure out you were a vampire?’

   ‘Well for weeks I went hungry. Every time I tried to eat something, when I smelled food, it would make my stomach turn but I was always so hungry. Then I started noticing that people would make my stomach growl. One night I found myself going into a homeless shelter and it hit me. I was in the bathroom washing my face and this woman slit her wrist in the shower. I was so hungry I could hardly move, and then the smell of her blood hit me.

   ’A hunger pain struck me like lightening; I went into her shower stall and fed. It was horrible Conner, I tore her to pieces. I drank what I could and then I cannibalized her. It was the only time I’ve ever eaten human flesh, it gives me chills just thinking about it. I left Dallas after that and I’ve never been back.

   ’So the last forty years has been me running from place to place hiding from different vampires. When I start getting chased to often from one area, I pack up and move somewhere else.’

   ’So how long have you been hiding in Seattle?’

   ’Oh, about two or three years.’

   ’Is that a long time for you to be in one place?’

   ’I don’t know, it’s always different. But settling down, now that would be nice.

Never having to run again, one can always hope right?’

   ’Right.’   

  True to Gloria’s word, we hit the grown running. The first thing we did was hit the Men’s Warehouse. Gloria and the sales lady went at it like pit bulls. I looked for a chair and sat; a male sales clerk looked at me and gave me his condolences. Every so often Gloria would call me over and have me try something on. Then her and the sales lady would go at it again. I must have tried on nine different jackets, I could hardly tell the difference between them.

  The sales manager finally came over to see if there was a problem; Gloria joyfully explained to the gentleman that she was not going to let her man leave this store looking silly and it would be better for him if he didn’t concern himself with what she and the sales lady were discussing. When the sales manager looked at me I just mouthed, ’Run’. He smiled and left them to their discussion.

  Gloria and I had spent the better part of an hour trying to get a suit for me. I had no idea that buying a suit could be so grueling. But after many arguments, the sales lady and Gloria came up with the best color scheme for my skin and the best style for my frame. I’ll never understand women, at times it seemed the hair pulling and eye scratching would start. The next, they were teammates trying to win the big game together. In the end, we found a suit that they both liked. I could care less, and the manager offered Gloria a sales job. The pants and the jacket needed to go to a tailor, so we walked out with a pair of shoes, a belt and a shirt.

  Next we hit a men’s clothing store to find pants. We didn’t spend near the time looking at pants as we did looking for a suit. Gloria knew what my size was so she went nuts. I ended up with five different pairs of jeans, five different pairs of

cargo pants and two pairs of faded looks cargo shorts. I had told Gloria that we didn’t need to buy those; I had plenty of old army pants we could cut the legs off.

She didn’t find that very funny.

  In a lull in the shopping I asked, ‘Gloria, can we drop all this crap off at the truck?’

  I was carrying five different bags. I was starting to tire from shopping already.

  Her answer was quick and to the point, ‘Are you nuts? If you leave that stuff in your truck someone will steel it. You’ll be ok, don’t worry.’

  Next we went looking for shirts. I don’t know what was wrong with the shirts in the last store we were in, but I figured it was better not to ask. As we walked

Gloria quietly hummed to herself; I left her to her thoughts.

   ‘You know Conner, shopping for you is so much easier then shopping for me.’

  I was surprised, ‘I find that hard to believe.’

   ‘More fun too.’

   ‘I thought you were going to hurt that lady at the Men’s Warehouse.’

   ‘Why would you think that?’

   ‘Because you seemed like she was pissing you off.’

   ‘Try not to understand women when they shop Conner, you’ll sleep better.’

 The rest of the day was kind of a blur. Gloria didn’t need me to try anything else on. Mostly she just wanted to see how something looked next to my skin. We ended up with ten or twelve different shirts. We also hit a shoe store on the way out. I got a new pair of sneakers and a second pair of dress shoes.

  I felt ridicules walking with all the bags of clothes. We made a quick stop at Victory Secrets. Since we didn’t spend the all the money that we brought Gloria wasn’t going to pass up a chance to buy underwear. After underwear shopping we headed for home, I was wore out. As we walked up to the truck I wondered what we were going to do with all of my clothes.

   ‘Do you have a plan once we get to the truck?’

   ‘What do you mean?’

   ‘We aren’t going to fit all this up front.’

   ‘Some of the stuff will need to come up front but the pants and shoes I’m sure will be find in the back.’

   ‘I can’t believe that we almost spent the whole day shopping.’

   ‘I can’t believe how cheap it is to shop for you. If I would have bought that much stuff it would have cost over ten thousand dollars.’

   ‘Damn Gloria.’

   ‘I don’t shop at malls, so it’s a little more expensive.’

   ‘I think I’ll take your advice, and try not to understand.’

   ‘Conner, what else do I have to spend my money on. But thank you for today; I really enjoyed buying you all this stuff. I know you could care less, but thank you for humoring me.’

  I was exhausted. Much to Gloria’s disgust, I hit a Burger King’s drive through. I didn’t feel like cooking, and I was to hungry to have a sit down at a restaurant.

Large crowds were still very difficult for me. And spending all day in a mall about pushed me to my limits. When I pulled into my parking spot, I couldn’t believe the day was finally over. Gloria helped carry most of the bags up to the apartment.