An Evening With Friends

  Spring quarter. I like spring; it’s my favorite time of year. I like the heat, but there something about the way things coming alive after the long hard cold of winter. Seattle’s winters are not bitterly cold, but months and months of grey tend to fray one’s nerves. This has been one of the most difficult winters I can remember; we had record rains this year. Working twenty hours a week at the hardware store mix in with getting used to a full load of classes. I was just not prepared for the amount homework I had to do this past quarter. Math sucked,

English never failed me in the homework department. Psyche had killed me with the required reading and papers to write, I don’t ever want to see another psyche class again. Then there was Gloria.

  Gloria, Gloria where art thou, thy pain in thy a*s. She had found a new and exciting way to scare the hell out of me. I was driving home from work, just zoning out and listening to the radio. And at thirty mile an hour down the road and my truck door opens and she climbs in with me. Gloria has in the last few weeks been asking me the most random questions. What’s my favorite color, what are your parents like, what do like you like to eat? What’s your favorite beer. I think my personal favorite was which girl you find the most attractive at school. I can’t even fathom why she would want to know that, she woke me up at two o’clock in the morning to ask me that.

  I have English, biology and creative writing this quarter. I have creative writing Tuesday and Thursday, English and biology Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Biology is my heavy homework class this quarter.  All of my classes are in the morning, so I have a somewhat of a normal schedule this spring. I’m only working sixteen hours a week this quarter, four hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays and eight on Saturday.

  In my creative writing class, I have a project to do over the next few weeks with a girl by the name of Bonnie Parker, very cute, about five foot five, red hair and freckles. She nineteen, we didn’t have a choice in who are partners were. Our teacher had said that this was an exercise to see the difficulties with writing something with a person you did not know, and might not like. It was some sort of product review and I think I was as unhappy in my partner as she was.

  Bonnie had given me her phone number so we could work out how we were going to do this. There was no way she could be aloud at my place with Gloria popping up the way she did, she would probably rip her arms off or something. Freaking Gloria. Bonnie still live with her folks, don’t really think me going to her house would be a good idea, probably scare the hell out of them. I would call her tonight when I got home from work, I was get off at eight tonight.

  Gloria has broken into my apartment somehow the last four nights in a row. Last night I slept on the bathroom floor in front of the door. I had hoped that she would have thought I wasn’t in the apartment, but she just lightly knocked on the door. The funny thing was, she sounded concerned as to why I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and not in my bed.

   When I was trying to clock out to go home, Fred my boss saw me and was wondering what collage was doing to me. I had told him it wasn’t collage, he had laughed and said something about I needed to quit chasing them collage girls.

He laughed slapped me on the back and wished me a good night. Most nights I walked one of checker girls to her car, she had said that I was the scariest looking guy she had ever seen and she knew no one in their right mind would bother her with me walking her to her car. She had said she always felt safe walking out with me, I guess. Let us see how safe you would feel if Gloria saw us.  

  Gloria had become an obsession in my thoughts; there wasn’t a time that she wasn’t in the forefront of my mind. I think if she shows up tonight I will try to have a talk with her and try to figure out what she wants with me. Why does she not understand that what she’s doing is not healthy? Just because you can throw a house, it does not give you the right to do so.

  I was so tired all the time, this couldn’t continue much longer. I unlocked my door and turn on the light. The apartment was empty; I quickly shut the door and locked it. I had to call Bonnie, I walked down the hall to my bedroom if I didn’t call her now I wouldn’t and we needed to figure out how we were going to do this project.

  My bedroom door was shut, I couldn’t remember if I shut it before I left for work. I waited for a second and pushed the door open. No Gloria, this is getting ridiculous. I went over and sat on the bed and kicked my shoes off and pulled off my shirt. It was starting to be warm enough I could go with only a wife beater. I pulled off my socks and laid back on the bed. I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out my phone.

  I scrolled through my numbers till I hit Bonnie’s number. This girl could talk very fast; this was going to be a difficult project.

   ’Hello?’ Bonnie had answered on the second ring.

   ’Hey it’s Conner.’ I just closed my eyes and covered them with my hand. I hadn’t been this tired sense the army.

   ’Hi Conner, I was beginning to think you weren’t going to call tonight. I was getting worried, I didn’t know if we were going to be able to get started in the next few days. It kind of worries me not to be able to start on a project. There’s one thing I can’t stand and that’s a procrastinator. Do you know what I mean?

Anyways, you had said that we couldn’t work on this at your place. I’m okay with that. Not that there’s anything wrong with your place, it’s just, you know a girl shouldn’t put herself in a place where something could happen, not that I think you’re that way. You know what I mean? I don’t think my parents aren’t going to be okay with us hanging out at my place, they can be a bit uncomfortable with new people.’

   ’Bonnie, slow down a second. I don’t care where we meet, if we even meet at all.

We can e-mail whatever it is we do. If we have to meet, we could can meet in the atrium.’

  In truth I was surprised that I even got that much out.

   ’There I go again, making thing way harder then they need to be...’

   ’Who the hell are you talking too?’ I about jumped out of my skin. There was Gloria, standing two feet from me looking really pissed.

   ’Conner, are you there?’ I heard Bonnie say on the phone.

  Gloria walked up to me, I started to jump away from her but she was to quick, Gloria reached out and took the phone from me. I could hear Bonnie calling my name as Gloria put the phone up to her ear, this was going to be bad.

   ’Find you own man b***h!’ Gloria hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed.

Gloria took a few steps back from me. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at me. After a few second, the beginning of a very long night started.

   ‘You have some explaining to do mister.’

  Oh hell no, she didn’t just go there. I jumped up from the bed and I stood about a foot in front of her, I had my feet shoulder length apart. I had my arms out beside me and my hands in locked in fists. I was ready to battle; I knew I didn’t have a prayer against her but to hell with it. I looked right into her eyes and exploded with weeks of frustration.

   ‘I don’t have to explain anything!’ I thundered, ‘For one, I am not your man.

Two, you are not my wife and three you sure as hell ain’t my momma. I don’t have to explain anything to you. This isn’t your apartment, and your presence isn’t welcomed! So either kill me, or get the hell out of here!’ I said pointing at the door.

   My face was so hot I thought it would catch fire, I could feel the adrenalin flowing through my body. Gloria didn’t budge; she took a deep breath and said,

‘You’ll regret this.’

   ’I will? You planning on killing me? Fine, do it. Death would almost be welcomed at this point. There’s no way that one person should be able to be as obnoxious as you are. So go ahead Gloria, take your best shot!’

  My hands were balled up into such tight fist, that my knuckles were popping like

I was cracking them.

  Gloria shook her head and walked out of my bedroom, and quietly shut my door.

I closed my eyes and tried to get my anger back under control. I started taking deep breaths, I knew that I had just stood on deaths door. I started feeling a knot in the pit of my stomach. The anger was starting to be replaced with fear; I went over and sat on the edge of my bed. I rested my elbows on my knees and put my face in my hands and I took to deep breaths. There was heard a horrible crash. It felt like the whole building shook.

  Damn, what did Gloria wreck this time? I got up and put my shoes on and opened my bedroom door. When I got into the living room, I froze. Between the front door and the communal wall to my bathroom, about four feet off the floor was half of my couch. I just blinked; I couldn’t fathom what I was seeing. I ran to the front door, I stopped for a second to look at my couch sticking out from the wall. I opened my front door, and there sure enough was the rest of my couch sticking through the wall.

   ‘Oh my God.’

  I just leaned against the door jamb staring at the couch. My mind was having a hard time believing what I was seeing. Gloria had thrown my couch threw the wall. My couch, through the wall. I was stunned; I turned and shut the door. I walked into the kitchen and opened my fridge and grabbed beer. Walk over to the kitchen table and grabbed a chair, on my way out of the kitchen I stopped and grabbed a second beer. I set the chair in the middle of the living room and sat down. I popped the top of the first beer and started chugging, I could hear sirens.

Someone had either seen the couch, or heard Gloria and I fight and then hear the couch going through the wall. Regardless the cops were coming and I was going to try and get as much beer in me before they got here and took me to jail.

  When I finished the first beer, I just dropped the beer bottle on the floor and cracked the second. I stood up and headed back to the fridge chugging the second beer alone the way, I grabbed a third and headed back to my chair. I had finished number two before I had gotten back to my chair. I just dropped the bottle on the floor and belched loudly. The two beers I just shot gunned almost came back up, oh no you don’t I thought. I don’t have enough time to get you back down again.

  I sat down and cracked the third beer, this one I didn’t try to drink as fast. I could hear people outside the apartment, then there was a knock on the front door. I belched a second time and took a big swig. Here we go.

   ’It’s open.’

  This day was just going to keep getting better, the first cop that came through the door was the sergeant for a few weeks ago. The second cop was Officer Walker, I just laughed.

   ’Hiya fellas.’ I said with a smile.

  The two police officers just stood in the door way. Their eyes went between me and the couch stuck in the wall, I just laughed at their expressions. Officer Walker was the first to speak, ‘How, I, wow, you mind telling me how your couch ended up going through your wall?’

  I just shot gunned the rest of my beer and said, ‘You know,’ I just kind of chuckled a bit then continued, ‘I don’t really have an excuse for that.’ pointing to the couch with my empty beer bottle.

  The sergeant whose name I could see on his name plate was Mills, Sergeant Mills asked me, ’How about we start at, were you here when it happened?’ jerking his thumb at the couch.

   ’Oh yeah I was here.’

   ’Did you see it happen?’ Sergeant Mills asked.

   ’No, I was in the bedroom.’ I said tossing the empty beer bottle on the floor.

Walker went next, ’You didn’t see how this had happened, but you have a good idea how it did right? Are you just afraid to tell us how the couch went through the wall?’

  I smiled, I should just tell them. I know I’m going to jail this time so why waist each other’s time.

   ‘What do I have to be afraid of? I know I’m going to jail tonight anyways, and I all ready feel about half crazy so why not just tell you all the truth I so can be full crazy.’

  I was really starting to feel those three beers I drank.

   ’A while back I met this girl at school, her name is Gloria. She’s really pretty, short, thin, long blond hair, and a nice rack. Well anyways she’s really into me, but there’s a small problem with Gloria. She’s freaking nuts. She’s turned out to be a total stalker nut job.

   ’She on this kick right, breaking into my house in the middle of the night. For

the life of me, I have no idea how she even gets into the apartment. But here’s the kicker. She isn’t human. The other night when you all were out here, that was

Gloria. See tonight is just more of the same incident that caused you all to come out here the last time. You remember, the shooting thing when the door got tore off?

   ’That was Gloria. See that night was the first night she came here. I woke up and thought there was someone in the house. So I got up and went out into the living room and there she was standing in front of the fridge. She started getting all pissed cause I wasn’t happy that she was in my apartment.  So she punched the door jam.

   ‘You all were wondering how it had gotten all broken, well that’s how. Well it startled me when she did that, so I shot at her. But a crazy thing happened, one second she was there, and the next she was standing over there by the TV. And let me tell you, she was pissed. She was all growling and snarling like a wild animal. So I shot at her again. Well she ducked under the blast and that’s when I shot the TV. Well then she ripped the door off and disappeared.

   ’Well tonight she snuck in and heard me talking to this girl at school and started bitching at me. Well I yelled at her and told her to leave. Well she walked out of my bedroom and I guess she threw the couch through the wall.’ the story really sounded bad hearing myself saying it.

  The two police officers just stood there in front of me speechless. Finally Officer Walker said, ‘So your story is, that a super human girl threw your couch through your living room wall.’

  I laughed and said, ‘Crazy huh?’ 

  Sergeant Mills said in a no nonsense voice, ‘Can you stand up and turn around for me please?’

   ‘Ha!’ I said and stood and turned.

  They cuffed me and took me down stairs; Sergeant Mills put me in the back of Officer Walker’s car. Yeah! I get to go to jail; maybe I’ll be able to get some damn sleep tonight.

 

  I spent two days in jail, I was charged with destruction of property and disturbing the peace. I pled guilty to both counts and was ordered to pay for the damages at the apartment and to pay a two hundred dollar fine on the disturbing the peace. Since it was in the evening when I had been arrested, I did not see the judge till Friday afternoon. I wasn’t cut lose from jail till Saturday morning. I didn’t have any money on me when I got arrested, so I had to walk home.

  I wasn’t too worried about the walk. When I was in the army, several times a year we would have to do a twelve mile road march. I used to be able to do it in about two and a half hours. Problem was, I was going to end up late for work. Fred was cool, and I’ve never been in trouble at work, but I expected a write up. Who cares about a write up, as long as I didn’t get fired, they could bury me in write ups.

  When I had gotten home, the couch was out of the wall and someone had nailed plywood over the large hole in the wall. When I went to open the front door, I saw my eviction notice hanging on the front door. I pulled it off and went in and took a quick shower. Before I went to work a wander down to talk to the manager, he wasn’t in the best of moods. He informed me that a contractor was coming in the next couple of hours to give him and bid. He informed me that whatever the bid was he was going to take it and I was going to pay. And if I wasn’t done fixing the last damaged I caused, he would be fixing that as well. Luckily I had finished all of it but he painting. I told him that I wanted my five hundred dollar security deposit back if I was going to pay for all this damage. He laughed and said he doubted I had the money to fix the wall so I could forget that. Whatever, I’m going to work. I’ll figure out he apartment thing later.

  When I pulled into the parking lot at the hardware store I was about two hours late. I was getting some funny looks from some of the other employees being so late. Who cares, I went into the back an found Fred. He was sitting in his office talking on the phone; I tapped on the open door to get his attention. He looked up from his computer and waved me in, I sat in the chair that sat next to his desk and waited for him to get off the phone.

  He turned and said to me, ’I’ll be off in a second; they’ve got me on hold.’

  After a few moments Fred start talking to whoever was on the phone, ’Right, no, no. Okay, that’ll be perfect. Okay goodbye. Stupid-a*s.’

  I smiled as Fred hung up the phone. Fred was one of the few down to earth people I have ever met outside of the military. The way he handles himself, he would have been a great leader in the army.

   ’Damn Fred, you would not believe the last two days, I’m sorry about being late,

I just got out of jail this morning.’

  Fred laughed and said, ’Ha! I told you to leave them damn collage girls alone, did I not? Now look at you, getting arrested and coming to work all late.’ He laughed some more and shook his.

   ’This, this didn’t have anything to do with no collage girl Fred, get your mind out of the gutter. For crying out loud.’

  Fred leaned back in his chair and looked at me for a minute, ‘Right, come on

Conner don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.’

   ‘What are you talking about?’

   ‘Well after yesterday, I’m not surprised that you had gotten arrested.’

   ‘Yesterday, you lost me, I was in jail yesterday.’

   ‘Well, a very cute little blond came up here very distraught.’

  I just leaned my head back and covered my face with my hands.

   ‘How bad was it?’ I could only guess

   ‘Conner I can understand wanting a good piece of a*s, but there comes a point when honey isn’t worth the bee sting. Conner this b***h is a renegade Japanese hornet. I can’t be having this kind of stuff at the store man. I hope you can understand that.’

  It must have been bad. I almost didn’t want to know.

   ‘Fred I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.’

   ‘You don’t have to say anything. Just keep her away from the store.’

   ‘She didn’t throw a forklift or anything did she?’

  Fred chuckled; it was a good thing he didn’t know I wasn’t joking.

   ‘No, she came up here yesterday afternoon and was wanting to talk to you. Of course you weren’t here, so she started asking about you to Sandy at the customer service desk, wondering if you had worked today. And Sandy wouldn’t tell her, so your little girlfriend started getting all pissed. So Sandy called me to come talk to her. Well as soon as I got up front, she started into me. She wanted to know if you were working tomorrow, she wanted to know who the little tramp was that you were talking to. She started asking if you were seeing the girl that you walked to her car every night. She made a seen that’s for sure, I’ll tell you what, the better looking they are, the crazier they are. Conner let me give you a nickels worth of free advice. I think you need to let this one go.’

   ‘You know Fred, her name’s Gloria, and I did meet her up at school. But there ain’t no her and I with this one, there never has. She psycho Fred, she’s broke into my apartment. She and I had gotten into it two nights ago, that’s why I got arrested. She showed up and trashed the place. Someone called the cops, she split and I went to jail. Now I’m getting evicted.’

   ’No justice for a man when it comes between him and a psycho. Anyways whatever, I can’t have her up here at the store. So if she shows up here either you’re going to have to deal with her quickly and quietly, or I’m going to have to call the cops. I’m sorry, it’s either that or I fire you which I don’t want to do.’  

   ‘Call the cops Fred, don’t mess around with her, hear me on this and hear me good. Gloria’s the most dangerous person I have ever met. Dangerous Fred, and I’ve know some pretty bad ones. None have been as bad as her Fred, none. If she shows up here and I’m here I’ll deal with her. But call the cops on her on sight. I don’t think she’ll stick around if she knows the cops are coming.’

  Fred sighed deeply. We both sat for a second looking at Fred’s computer screen.

   ‘Well there’s nothing we can do right now about this whole mess, do you know what you’re going to do about a place to live now that your getting evicted?’

   ‘No, but I’ll figure something out.’

   ‘Okay, I guess clock in and go to work. You know I’m going to have to write you up about being late. It doesn’t mean anything but, you know what it’s like being the boss, you were in the army.’

   ‘Yeah, I understand. I figured you would have to.’

   ‘I’ll have it for you before you go home tonight.’

  We both got up and just looked at each other and started laughing. I turn and started out of Fred’s office; he slapped me on the back and chuckled.

   I could hardly get a thing done today, every time I saw a blond my heart about stopped. When I had a consumer service call to report to the tool department, my blood went cold. My fellow employees caught quite a few laughs at my jumpiness; they would joke about staying away from crazy women. A few asked if it was true that she had me arrested, all in all it was a long six hours. True to his word, Fred had my write up for me to sign on my way out. He reassured me that it meant nothing and to not worry about it.

  When I walked out to get into my truck, my heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. I was expecting to see Gloria leaning up there against my truck waiting for me. But to my surprise, she wasn’t. I found it hard to believe that she didn’t know I had gotten arrested with how much time she’s invested trying make me crazy.

  I had to double check to make sure that my passenger door was locked; I didn’t want a passenger on the way home. Pulling into my parking lot I scanned the property to see if I could see Gloria, there was no sign of her. I knew sooner or later she would show up, I was just hoping it would be later the sooner. Damn this was a mess, I couldn’t see any way out of this. Gloria made no sense to me, what were her reasons behind all of this drama. How could one little person make someone’s life such a mess.

  I parked the truck and went up to my apartment. I shook my head when I looked at the hole that was covered with plywood I opened the front door and I just saw red, the place was empty. I walked in and slammed the front door and inspected

the apartment, ever thing I owned was missing. Oh for crying out loud, now what?

  I immediately went to see the resident manager Jeff. When I got to his downstairs apartment I banged on the door, opening the door Jeff did not look happy to see me.

   ‘Where’s my s**t Jeff?’ I said burning with anger.

   ‘How the hell should I know where you sister took it.’

   ‘My sister?’

   ‘I don’t have a f*****g sister.’

   ‘Well it sucks to be you.’

  I thought about grabbing Jeff by his head squeezing it till his eyes popped out of their sockets.

   ‘You let some strange girl who claimed to be my sister come into my apartment and take all my s**t?’

  Jeff started to go white when he started to understand that he might have witnessed a crime and did nothing to stop it.

   ‘I didn’t let anyone into your apartment Conner. She had a key. Me and contractor went up to look at the hole in the wall and she was there boxing everything up. I asked her who she was and she had said that she was your sister

Gloria.’

  Gloria, I should have know. Now she had my stuff and was probably was going to hold it all hostage.

   ‘Oh by the way, the girl who said she was your sister over heard the quote for repairing the wall. She asked if she could pay for it right now, I told her yes. The quote was twenty one thousand for the wall inside and out. That covered painting and everything. I deducted the five hundred for the security deposit. So since she paid it, I wrote her the receipt. So, you have the next thirty days of course to live here, but your sister already moved you stuff to your new apartment. I can’t really start repairing the hole till you clear out for good.’

   ‘So we’re completely in the clear then?’

   ‘We are if you’re out of here in the next thirty days. Also, I don’t know who this girl was, but she dropped over twenty thousand dollars for you and moved your stuff by herself, if she’s not your sister you might want to treat her as such. She saved your a*s.’

   ‘Did she leave and address or anything?’

  Jeff shook his head no and said, ‘I had asked her about that and she said she would be by a little later to get you to your new place.’

   ‘Great. Thanks Jeff.’

   ‘One more thing, if you don’t mind?’

   ‘What’s that?’

   ‘How the hell did you get the couch through the wall?’

   ‘Bye Jeff.’

  I turned and walked back to my apartment. There sitting on the top step was

Gloria. When Gloria saw me she smiled, she was wearing jeans and a small blue zip up the front sweatshirt. She had on a Mariners baseball hat on with her hair pulled through the back in a ponytail. She waved as I came up the stairs.

   ’Hi Conner, how are you?’  I stopped a few steps below her.

   ’Where’s my stuff Gloria?’

   ’At your new apartment.’

   ’Oh, my new apartment.’ I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my new apartment.

   ’Did your landlord tell you I paid for the hole?’

   ’Yes.’ Gloria handed me the receipt that Jeff had given her.

   ’Thank you Gloria.’

   ’You welcome.’ she said politely.

  I just walked past her and opened my door. I didn’t even asked if she would like to come in. I just went through the door and slammed it. I locked the door and went to see if Gloria had left me anything in the fridge. Gloria about scared the crap out of me. When I turned away from the door, Gloria was standing in the middle of the living room. No matter how many times I’ve seen Gloria move like greased lightning, it never failed to startle me.

   ‘Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t saying thank you for paying for the hole you made. I was thanking you for turning my life upside down. I was thanking you for smashing up my apartment. For getting my evicted, oh and my favorite, getting me arrested. That was a new experience for me. Thank you for coming up to my work and making an a*s out of yourself. Imagine if you would, what my boss had to say about that.

   ‘Thank you for not letting me have a good night sleep because every time I close my eyes I think you’re going to just magically appear. Thank you for the ulcer I know I’m getting, because of the stress your causing me.’

Gloria stood there with a goofy smile on her face giggle and said, ‘You’re welcome.

Shall we go see the new place? You know Conner, you’re making this harder then you need too.’

   ‘What the hell does that mean I’m making this harder than it needs to be?! I said curtly.

   ‘Conner you’re not ready for the answer to that question. I don’t want you to lose your temper again like you did a couple of days ago. But anyways, let’s go! I have a surprise for you.’

  She acted as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She headed to the door and said, ‘Oh by the way, there isn’t anything in the fridge, anything that was worth anything is at the new place.’ then she was gone, I heard her say from outside,

‘Conner let’s go!’

  I started grumbling to myself and headed out the door. As I came down the stairs I could see Gloria leaning against the driver side door with her arms crossed.

   ‘You should leave the keys to the apartment with Jeff. I don’t think you’ll need them anymore.’

  I sighed took my keys to Jeff’s apartment. He said thanks and I came back to the truck.

  Gloria was waiting by the passenger side of the truck. When I didn’t unlock her door first, she cleared her throat. So I walked over and unlocked her door and opened it.

   ’Thank you, now was that so hard?’

  Once she was in I slammed the door. I got in and started it and looked at

Gloria.

   ’What?’

   ’I don’t know where the new place is.’

  Gloria giggled like she was embarrassed then said, ’Just head out past the school on the main drag. You only live a few minutes from the school. I thought about that when I got you to knew place. You’ll have a parking spot out back and there’s a bus stop a few blocks from the apartment.’

  I pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the school, I couldn’t believe that I had Gloria in the truck with me.

   ’I think you’re going to like the new place.’

 I didn’t answer her; I just turn on the radio. Gloria reached up and turned it off,

   ’Are you still mad at me?’

 I glared at her and turned the radio back on. We drove a few minutes and then Gloria turned the radio back off.

   ’I’m going to need to give you direction here in a minute; I don’t want us to miss the turn.’

   ’Gloria, what part of there is no us are you not understanding?’

  Gloria just smiled.

   ’Up here at the next street take a left. The place will be on the corner on the right. It’s the brick building on the corner. You’re on the second floor in a corner apartment; I know how paranoid you are. I thought about that when I got the place for you. You can see two different streets from your bedroom.’ Gloria said seemingly please with herself.

   ‘Do you see it there up there on your right?’ She asked as we pulled up on my new street, as we cut around back in the alley Gloria said cheerfully, ‘Number three is yours.’

  I pulled into the parking slot that said three over it. She shot me a huge grin and said, ‘Let’s go.’

  She jumped out of the truck and started towards the common door. When we got to the door, she tried to look extremely cute with a flashing smile and held out the key. I took it and unlocked the door and went in and did not hold the door for her.

   ‘So touchy today.’

   ‘Gee, I wonder why.’ I grumbled to myself.

  When we got to the apartment number three, Gloria held her hand towards the door like she was presenting a master piece painting or something. I just let out a deep breath and unlocked the door, Gloria seemed like she was going to take off like a rocket with anticipation. I opened the door and motioned for her to go in first, Gloria clapped her hands in excitement and went in. I just shut the door and stayed in the hall and wondered if I could get away from her before she opened the door again.

Gloria opened the door and did not look happy, ’Don’t be an a*s please.’

  I just smile and she opened the door all the way so I could come. The new apartment was amazing. The first thing I noticed was that I had a beige leather couch. The couch looked if you sat in it, it would swallow you. There on the floor in front the couch was what looked like a very expensive Persian rug. Across from the couch was a humongous flat screen high definition television set.

  She had put up new curtains in the living room that both matched the new couch and the rug. There were beautiful looking rod iron candle holders hanging on the living room walls, she also hung several painting hanging in the living room. I hated to say it, but it looked very nice. But nothing in the living room belonged to me. I wondered for a second if Gloria was planning on living here with me.

    ’Are we living together now?’ I asked.

  Gloria’s laugh filled the apartment.

   ’Was that an invite?’ she asked.

   ’No, but none of this crap is mine.’

  Gloria frowned at my comment, ’I know none of it is yours, I bought it for you. You live like a bum, so I got some stuff for you. I know you were upset about the TV so I got you a new one. And I felt bad about the couch so I got you one that didn’t smell funny. Plus I know how men love leather couches, the ends recline. Oh, come on I want to show you the bedroom.’ 

  Gloria led me to the bedroom. She turned the light and I frowned. There in the middle of the room was my queen size bed in a huge decretive rod iron canopy bed frame. There was a white lace covering around the top of the canopy. That hung slightly down the four poles. Gloria went to head of the bed on the side I like to sleep on.

   ’Ok, turn out the light.’

  I rubbed my chin and figure it couldn’t get any worse so I turned off the light.

Gloria giggled and turned on a different light. Behind the lace, were dark blue Christmas lights. I smiled liking it; it would be nice to bring some girl in here and turn those lights on. I grimaced at the thought of Gloria catching me trying to romance some random chick with her blue lights. I turn and walked out of the room, I saw the bathroom and made a get quick getaway.

   Once I got into the bathroom I shut and locked the door. I was afraid to turn around because I didn’t want Gloria to be in here with me. I turned and was relived to be alone. I took a deep breath and looked around at the new bathroom, there was I gigantic bathtub. I opened the medicine cabinet and saw that all my bathroom stuff was in here, well that was a plus. How the hell was I going to stay here, I wondered how much rent was. I washed my face and tried to prepare myself for another round.

    I came out of the bathroom and went into the living room. Gloria was there sitting on the couch, when she saw me she smiled. I stopped in the middle of the living room at looked at the shut off TV.

   ’So do you like it?’

   ’Like or dislike is beside the point.’

   ’What do you mean?’

   ’Gloria, first how much is rent for this place?

   ’For you? Free. I paid the first year’s rent, not that I really needed too.’

  I scowled at her, damn it.

   ’Gloria, how can I say this so you don’t throw a couch.’

   ’I don’t know, maybe by starting at the beginning?’

   ’Okay, maybe you’ll understand this, did it ever occur to you that I might be afraid of you? And that the idea of you paying my rent doesn’t exactly make me comfortable? Oh and let’s not forget that, I don’t know, don’t want you around me!’

   ’Conner don’t be so dramatic, there’s no reason for you to be scared of me.’

   ’Oh there’s not? I don’t know, a five foot tall monster throwing a couch through my living room wall is a good reason. And let’s not forget being able to dodge bullets, please let’s not forget that.’

   ’I’m not a monster.’ she said in a small voice.

  Me thinking Gloria as a monster hurt her. I suddenly became afraid.

   ’Okay, if you’re not a monster then what are you? Ever since the first night you came into my house, I’ve been at a loss for what you are.’

   ’I’m not a monster.’ she said getting irritated.

   ’Then what the hell are you then? Huh? What could you possibly tell me that would explain everything enough that I could get a good night sleep?’

   ’Conner please, I wish you wouldn’t talk this way, how it hurts me when you do.’

   ’Hurts you? Try having something stalk you at night, see how that feels?’

  Gloria was on her feet in a flash.

   ’It wasn’t my fault he bit me! He was the monster; I was just trying to go home!’

Gloria yelled.    

  Then as quickly as Gloria had gotten to her feet, I was alone in the new apartment. I walked over to the front door and locked it. I stood there by the front door and just shook my head. This isn’t going to work for me, staying in Gloria’s new apartment.

  I went over and sat on my new couch, I didn’t understand what I had just heard.

  Gloria had said it wasn’t her fault that she had been bitten. What did she mean by that? She had said he had bitten her, then my blood ran cold. For the first time everything seemed to come together. Gloria’s cold skin, her speed and strength, her incredible beauty, I couldn’t fathom that Gloria could be a vampire.

But what else could it be? Who cares I wasn’t going to think about it, I hadn’t taken a shower since before I had gotten arrested. I was tired, hungry and needed a shower. I went into the kitchen and opened the freezer, to my relief I Gloria had at least brought my frozen pizzas from the old place. I turned the over on to pre-heat and went to take a shower.

  By the time I was out of the shower the oven was ready for my pizza. I threw the pizza in without putting it on a cookie sheet. Freaking vampire, you got to be kidding me. But what else could she be if she wasn’t a vampire? I had all the luck, I always said my ex-wives were vampire women that sucked the life out of me, now I had a crazy stalker vampire chick, nice.

  The oven timer startled me when it went off. I got up and took the pizza out and placed it on the box it came with. I had to dig through about four different drawers till I found my pizza cutter. I took about three slices, grabbed a beer out of the fridge and tried unsuccessfully to free my thoughts of Gloria. I finished the first three slices and grabbed three more and a second beer. As I sat eating I heard the front door open. Great round two.

   ’Conner?’

  I didn’t answer her; I figured she could hear me. Stupid crazy stalker vampire chick. Gloria came into the kitchen and stood opposite of me at the table. I didn’t look up at her, my stomach knotted up. But to hell with it, if she was going to feed on me she would do it. I at least was going to try to finish my beer first.

   ’I’m sorry I yelled at you.’

  I didn’t look up at her, I finished my last piece got up and put my plate in the sink and grabbed my beer and went into the living room and turn on a movie since I didn’t have my cable turn on. As I headed to the couch I took my shoes off and tossed them by the front door. The movie came on so I sat on the couch.

  Gloria came into the living room and stood in front of the TV, ‘Are you ignoring me now?’

  I looked at her for a second, I guess sense she was going to stand in front of the

TV till I talked to her, ‘Gloria I don’t know what to tell you, you’ve turned my life upside down. Now that I think I understand what you are, I’m even less okay with you just coming into my apartment. So I don’t know what to tell you.’

   ‘What do you think I am?’

   ‘Vampire.’

  Gloria head dropped.

   ‘That doesn’t make me a bad person though.’

   ‘Really? So if you’re not a killer, then what are you?’

   ‘I won’t hurt you Conner.’

   ‘No you won’t hurt me, you’ll just get me fired and arrested and make my life impossible, that’s all. Gloria I don’t know what to tell you, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m glad you took care of all the problems you caused but I’m sorry.’

   ‘What is that supposed to mean?’

   ’It means I can’t handle you anymore. I’m going to try to go on with my life as best as I can. I’m not going to talk to you anymore, if you smash everything up,

I’m just going to leave, or go to bed. If you try to sit and talk to me in the atrium,

I’m not going to see you. If you’re going to feed, feed. Otherwise I’m going to do my best to ignore you.’

  Without letting her even comment I got up off the couch and went to bed.

   And that’s how things went over the next few weeks Gloria was like a imaginary friend that I was trying to ignore. Sometimes she rode the bus with me; I would sit on the outside seat to make sure she couldn’t sit next to me. Sometimes she would use her speed to get into the seat next to me, but when she did I tried not to notice.

  When I came into the atrium and she would be sitting in my chair. I would sit in the seat beside her and listen to my I-pod and eat my sandwich. Whenever we crossed paths she would try to talk to me, but I wouldn’t listen to her. Trying to watch TV was impossible, she would just stand in front of it.

  Sometimes she would be there when I woke in the middle of the night. She would try to ask me stuff. I would just get up and get a drink and go back to bed. Sometimes if I was having a nightmare, she would wake me up and scare me half to death. She would tell me I was dreaming, I would just roll over and go back to sleep.

  I finished my project with Bonnie Parker, we worked on our project in the atrium Gloria had shown up once but she didn’t bother us. Bonnie had asked who

Gloria was, I told her I didn’t know. Gloria had gotten up and stormed out of the atrium, I tried not to notice.

  I tried not to notice Gloria so much that I guess she got the hint. Gloria had vanished. To a point I wondered if I had had a psychotic moment or imagined her. But a week went by and there was no sign of her. I felt my life going back to normal. The end of the school year was winding down. A couple of more weeks and the summer break would start.

  I started worrying that she would turn up at finals, but still no Gloria. I finished up finals, and still no sign of Gloria. Gloria’s disappearance was strange, since we met I couldn’t remember going more than four or five days without see her, but the whole situation with Gloria was strange so whatever.