He's not here

Posted Date: : Mar 27, 2010 6:42 PM

I have to sit here and cry on my own.
By myself because he's not here.
I miss him because its hard not hearing his voice.
His voice comforts me.
I cry because I'm going to leave my mom in bad terms.
We have grown apart.
It seems like we keep hitting heads for the wrong reasons.
Nothing seems to make things better between us.
I cry because I'm leaving my father.
I am everything to my father.
I know it.
He is everything to me.
I'm going to miss the deep conversations we had.
His laughs.
His funny dance moves.
The way he has conversations with the dog.
My dad has always been a hard worker.
Never having time to sit down and just speak for a long time.
My dad is just simply my dad.
He's just that guy that cannot be changed by anyone.
Even though I accept him, I wish he could've taken the time to hang out with me.
Only us.
But he had other priorities.
I just hope it will change once I get older and I have kids.
Maybe he can make up with his grand kids.
It would be a dream come true.
This feeling is hard to get through.
I cry because I wish my brother and hubby had a bond.
I cry because my husband does everything for ME.
This apartment.
My cats.
Just EVERYTHING. FOR ME.
Just to simply make me the happiest woman alive.
But a person is NEVER fully happy with what they have.
I just hope that once we start our new life, I change for the better.
Just a bit.
I want to be a BETTER wife.
I want to cook for him without feeling a lazy butt.
I want to improve.
This is my mission.
Hopefully.
I want everything to work out.