Chapter Thirteen

  Thirteen is a very special number, he may not be superstitious, but to Jason he finds that number very significant. Very sentimental and emotional fellow Jason is,he’s the type to remember important dates and hold them dear to his heart such as a Valentine’s Day, or anniversary for instance. Jason planned out his and L’s anniversary so that it would land on a Thirteenth. Not only that but he made sure that it was a Friday, so it being a Friday the Thirteenth. Not only that, but in the year 2012, the supposed end of the world. He didn’t do all this because he thought it would be funny or even somewhat amusing, no in his mind Jason thought to himself that he was above all this. He was above the end of the world scare and above any superstitions in the world. He wanted L so much and believed there was no force in the universe that could tear them apart. Jason believed so much they would work out no matter what that he made it so that their first night together would be on an unlucky day in the year of the supposed end.

            Looking back now, Jason doesn’t think that was such a good idea anymore.

            Jason rubs the blur from his eyes sitting up in his bed. He sluggishly removes the covers from himself as he steps down onto his ottoman making his way toward the bathroom like a zombie to brains. As the door opens his eyes meet his own and a chill jots down his spine forcing his mind to become wide awake. Jason diverts his attention down toward the floor and remembers passing out against the wall.From there his memories come back to him in reverse order starting with L’s last text message. He rushes over to his phone immediately opening his text messages. The last text he was writing was never sent and now he can’t even remember what he was writing out.

            “I still… what? What was I going to tell her?” Jason asks himself out loud frustrated that he couldn’t remember what he wanted to say. “Love you? Need you? Want you? Damn it, what was it?”

            Jason then remembers Merta and what she was trying to tell him. Jason looks up at the clock which displays 9:50AM. “Damn, it’s almost ten! No time to deal with Merta. I’ve got to go!” Jason gets himself ready as quickly as possible and rushes out the door to meet his family for this Easter morning.

            He and his family head out to the local lake just as they do every year. It’s more of ritual than tradition. Traditions you want to do, or even seem like you would at least want to keep it up. Rituals are different, they’re required for either gaining something or prevent something, in this case it would be to prevent family tension.

            Jason makes his rounds giving everyone a proper greeting then retreating away to his own vices. Walking back and forth along the lake side Jason pulls out a cigarette letting his exhale smoke dance in the breeze. Jason takes a moment to enjoy the seclusion admiring the sound water rocking on the shore, the chime leaves in the wind, the pleasant wind gliding through his hair. Jason is much happier and calmer when he’s by himself without a single thought. If only his thoughts didn’t creep back up the depths of his mind. He’s taken aback to his last text he was going to send L.

            Staring down at the unfinished message he just erases all text and sends a simple“Happy Easter, hope you have a good Holiday.” He places his phone back into his pocket and stares off into the water. He doesn’t expect a reply back. He’s sent messages before which remained unanswered, although as hopefully as he always is, he tries not letting them get too high so the drop won’t be as painful. He takes another puff. The smoke is carried off once more and his brain becomes calm mixing with the nicotine. A few moments pass and his phone buzzes within his pocket. Much to his surprise its L replying back to him, although the reply isn’t exactly what he was expecting.

L: We weren’t ever really in love with each other were we?

            He’s surprised from the two of them that she is the one asking this question,confused even. She should know this answer shouldn’t she? I mean, for her anyway, I was the one left alone.

Jason: What do you mean?

L: Like what we had wasn’t real       

            Is that why she left? She didn’t think our love was real?

Jason: I may have been too fearful due to my past,but what I felt for you was real. I had my future mapped out with you at every turn.

L: I just stopped believing I could fill your future with what you want. I’m sorry to brother you with this. I just never saw us ending up this way is all and it made me question the whole thing.

Jason: I never saw this coming either. I didn’t think that this was even possible. It still doesn’t feel real, like it’s just a very long bad dream or something. Sometimes I think I’ll go to sleep and wake up to everything being normal again, but this is reality I guess.

            He sets his phone down on a nearby rock allowing his eyes to gaze upon the mountains and their incredible immovability. I believed we were like the mountains. I really thought nothing could shake our love for each other. I guess we just weren’t as strong as I thought.The cigarette is almost completely ash to the point of oblivion. Noticing this he flicks the cancer stick away and ponders once more. Maybe that’s all relationships are, a brief moment of self indulging pleasure like a cigarette and when it’s all done just toss it.

L: Yeah I know what you mean… Especially seeing you…I didn’t expect having to do that. Makes it a little more strange. I mean you out with someone else and me out with someone else at the same place and me just feeling so weird that your right there and I can’t talk to you like I have for over two years.

            Jason and L had become best friends over their two years. They weren’t just together and having fun, they were building a deeper connection with one another. They started off as crushes moving onto dating eventually becoming best friends and finally lovers. Jason sometimes thought he may have made the relationship move too quickly, but he loved L being his best friend and lover; the person he could talk with about anything. When she left L didn’t just break up a relationship,she stole a piece of Jason’s world. What she didn’t know at the time of the break up is that Jason was looking for the perfect ring as he prepared himself to be the last person L would ever be with.

Jason: Feeling weird that you can’t talk to me? I didn’t think you would ever want to and I didn’t expect you to be there at all.When the lights went on and I saw you up there it felt as though time stopped.You were so close, just right there and yet it felt like I was seeing you through a telescope from an alien planet. You just seem so far away from me. I never thought this much distance would ever be between us.

L: It’s still a bit difficult to realize you can’t be my best friend anymore. I noticed you since you stepped into the back room…So I know what you mean especially since not to be a creepy ex but it was a little hard to look at anything else in the room. Never really thought I’d watch you on a date with someone else.

            Jason didn’t think of that night as a date, just a night of fun after his failed search for L.

Jason: You weren’t hurt by that night were you?

L: There were moments but I also thought you knew I was right there.

Jason: Moments?

           I had no idea you would be there, especially at the DJ station with a bird’s eye view.

L: Pretty much the moments you two were sitting, maybe the way you were holding her at the end there.

            Jason recalls holding Merta on the dance floor before the lights came on. He knows how he held her; he knows he held her like he did with L in times of long absences. Damn, I wish I wasn’t so weak for her. My weakness is what hurt her that night, me pretending I was with Lthe whole time. F**k…

            Their conversation went from intense to friendly. It calmed down as they talked about their friends and a few things that have happened since the lapse of time between their last visits with one another. Jason felt at ease, relaxed texting L; he’s always enjoyed talking with her no matter the conversations, but this,this is like heaven for him. Just by her talking to him he knew he still had a chance, even if she saw him with another.

Jason: Well anyway, my family and I are leaving the lake. Umm.. I guess I’ll talk to you later, or not, I don’t know. Have a good Easter today. Be safe, and make sure you don’t die anytime soon.

L: Yeah I’m getting to the theater with my family too. Yeah whenever you feel like talking is fine or if you don’t that’s understandable too. You be safe too and no dying either! A little weird to say to someone, but okay, Happy Easter Joey, have a good day.

Jason: Yeah well I just don’t want you to disappear from this world just yet. I’m not quite finished with you…

L: I’m not sure what you mean by that.

Jason: You’ll find out soon enough.

Reviews

[yuki]

''My weakness is what hurt her that night, me pretending I was with Lthe whole time. F**k…'' a space between L and time.thats all I found very good :)