Chapter Eleven

Jason sits on the patio of a bar downtown while all the lights and sounds stream left and right. He has cigarette squeezed between two fingers and a beer within the palm. One after the other he takes a swig and puff of these conscious impairing substances. He watches as the people pass by him noticing the non-biasness of the blocked off party scene. Ghetto thugs, flashy hipsters, homeless panhandlers, rich California wannabes; this area of town doesn’t discriminate; it only speaks the language of money which Jason seems to be short on at this time of night.

            “Three days and still no leads on her, it’s like she’s just fell off the face of the damn earth.” He takes another puff of his cigarette letting the smoke mask his presence as much as a small cancer stick could. “These things are going to kill me one day” he says letting out the last of the smoke “at least when that day comes I won’t have to search for her anymore.”

            Jason scrolls through his address book walking down the streets of downtown and realizes he’s exhausted all options to find L. There’s just nothing else he can do to search for her. He thinks back to the giant car accident half a week ago. That must have been the only real time she wasn’t on his mind. The only thing he could think about was surviving the horrible affair and saving that helpless girl. It wasn’t until he had someone ask him to stay that he decides to leave and actually try to pursue L again.

            “Could this be a mistake? There was someone who needed me to stay and I’m chasing after the person who left me.” Jason thinks long and hard as these random people passed him by. He paid no mind to them nor do they back, just ghosts crossing paths never to talk. One of the ghosts dissolves the ghastly ethereal and bumps right into him.

            “Oh, I’m sorry about that.” The ghost says and Jason immediately apologizes back. The two catch eyes and no longer are they ethereal beings.

            “Jay?” The girl asks in excitement.

            “Merta!?” He replies with confirmation. “Oh my gosh, I haven’t been called by that name in so long! What’s it been now? Almost four years?”

            “Yeah, almost! The last time I seen you was at the coffee shop exchanging poetry and writings.” She says very reminiscent.

            “Oh yeah, I remember that! Damn, that was like a lifetime ago.” Jason flicks off the ash from the tip of his cigarette letting the ash fly off in the wind. “So what have you been up to?”

            Marta notices the ash being carried away with the wind paying no mind to the burning cancer stick. “Just school and work really. I just got back from vacation with my boyfriend. It was so amazing being out there!”

            “Oh wow, vacation? Where did you go?”

            “Hawaii.”

Jason looks up toward the clouds “I remember the last time I was in Hawaii, ha-ha I was a scrawny little kid trying to learn how to surf. I bet you had a lot of fun out there huh?”

            “You know it! So what about you? What have you been up to?”

            “Just working lately, that’s about it.” He takes a peek down at his phone but there’s nothing but the time being displayed on his phone. “Hey are you down here with anyone?”

            “I was, but my friend and her boyfriend ran off somewhere so I decided to take a walk.” Merta says looking around. “Are you here with a crowed or anything?”

            “Nah, I’m flying solo tonight.”

            “What about your girlfriend?”

            “How did you know about her?” Jason asks looking puzzled.

            “Chanel told me about her.”

            “You and Chanel know each other? That’s crazy! What a small world ha-ha!”

            “Yeah, we’re like best friends! I was all surprised to hear you two worked together and then hearing how you quit from that place.”

            “Yeah, I was actually fired, but that’s a story for another time. Anyway, lets walk yeah?”

            “Okay.” Merta says with a smile.

Jason and Merta walked the streets of downtown catching up on old times and forgotten memories. Jason recalls meeting her at a rave long ago and how it was funny that they both knew Rika. They laughed about how such a small it world it is. Merta caught him up on her life up til’ this point while Jason did same even telling her about L and everything that happened them.

“I’m sorry to hear that Jay, That must have been hard.”

“Yeah, it was, but hey I’m still alive right!?” Jason exclaims with false enthusiasm.

“I think you just need to have some fun!”

“Well, that’s why I’m down here.” He cracks a smile as a night club catches his eye. “Hey, do you wanna go dancing? “

“Well… it was fun the last time we danced!” Merta says smiling in recall of the rave.

“Something I’d very much like to recreate” Jason’s smiles in attempt to convince her.

“Yeah, let’s go! But where?”

“Let’s go to Sakura night club eh?” Jason says pointing toward the direction of the club.

“I’ve only been there once, but okay!”

“Wait, what about your boyfriend? Will he be okay with it?”

“Yeah, he will, you and I are just friends anyway, it’s been like years since we’ve hung out.”

“Ha, alright then, let’s go.” Jason says and off they went.

Sakura was dark enough, but the party lights did a good enough job of keeping the place lit up enough so you could see the people in front of you and where you’re walking. Jason and Merta made their way toward the bar lounge and ordered a hookah to puff on while they settled into the scene. It’s been a while since Jason had been out with a girl. He wasn’t exactly sure how to act. He thought of just treating her like any of his other friends, but there was the fact that she was a lady and he couldn’t exactly be as profound as he is with the guys. He kept that in mind as the night went on.

The two looked around watching as people danced and got down on the floor. Jason felt disgusted with the way people danced; asses up in each others crotches, hands touching places that should only be reserved for privacy. The music in the club wasn’t great either, it was all hip-hop and rap, something Jason didn’t exactly prefer, especially not to dance to. Luckily the club had a back section where the better music was played; still not the best, but better than the crap that was choking the current atmosphere.

Once the hookah was all finished he shouted over the loud music asking if she wanted head to back, she replied silently due to the loudness of the sound waves, but Jason read her lips and they painted a yes across them. The music echoing from wall to wall had a better rhythm to dance to. Techno, dubstep, house music and trance. Not Jason’s favorite, but he did quite enjoy the sounds of computer tech tonics than the crap being played out in front. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor and the two began moving their feet and bodies to the traces of music.

The two started out slow, almost embarrassed to dance in front of one another. Basic one-two steps left and right, small arm motions and awkward glances toward each other. As the music’s climax grew so did the movements of their bodies. The music acted as a tourniquet releasing the tension in their blood flow substantially allowing it to boil with the melody of the music. The movements became more fluid and the steps ever graceful. The beat grew higher and higher as they lost themselves within the music. For both of them it was as if the whole crowd around them didn’t even exist. Jason became one with the sounds and started to lose control of his body like a puppet on strings he was being controlled by the DJ’s mixers.

The beat drops and the two snap toward one another. One hand joined in the others, their movements fused and danced in synch. They went on trading places back and forth on the dance floor. Merta would occasionally lock eyes with Jason and his own to hers. Each locking they became closer and closer letting their body language speak underneath the loud beats and communicate flawlessly with one another signaling every dip and turn, each exchange of foot motion allowing their bodies carry a conversation orchestrated by the music neither of them were aware of.

Their bodies substitution for words grew so intense Jason’s breathing became heavy and sweat started to drip down the sides of his face. Eventually they had to take a break from all the dancing and just sit down. The side bench was a bit crowded so they had to sit relatively close to each other. At this point Jason had forgotten about her boyfriend and was just imbued with the intensity of the moment. They sat together as they watched the other people in the club dance, but it didn’t seem like the music had the same effect on them. For some, mostly the few dancing alone, it appeared as if they were in a whole other world of their own lost in the sands of time. He sympathized with these few individuals; he knew what it was like losing yourself and escaping reailty. He felt this way whenever he was with L. He loved every minute of it that time itself always flew by way too quickly. He looked over at Merta and starred for second or two. The darkness of the room shrouded her face enough for his imagination to run wild deceiving his eyes to make him see L sitting next to him. He looked away knowing that it was only his mind and heart playing tricks on him. Jason stared off into the crowed wondering what she was doing or where she was. Gravity grew heavy and his eyes became a little swelled with pain. He couldn’t take this density on his shoulders.

Leaning over to Merta he shouted in the loudest whisper he could asking if she would like some water and with a positive reply off he went but before he completely walked out of the room Jason glanced back for a moment looking into the crowed feeling as though someone was watching him. He searched the dance floor for any staring eyes. Nothing; although he did notice Merta watching him and shrugged off the eyes seeing that it were only her own.

Jason walked over to the hookah bar and ordered two bottles of water, paid the lady and made his back to Merta. There they were again, those eyes he felt on him, only this time it wasn’t Merta watching him, she was caught up watching the other dancers. He scanned every face in the crowed as he made his way through the dance floor, but still no one. What was this feeling he was getting? Why did he feel so much glare upon him; it was almost painful. He tried shrugging the feeling off as he sat back down next to Merta and popped open the bottle. He took a few drinks before one of his favorite songs came on. He couldn’t help but get up and attach those strings back to his puppet limbs again. The beat took him once more and as it grew closer and closer to the drop the intensity within his body grew ever more. His moves became sharper as sweat dripped faster. The beat reached its climax and as it dropped Jason's body flew into the air; his body bending gravity, his essence knowing not the meaning of time. Jason flipping backwards tucked his body in letting momentum take him completely around into a back flip. He slowly ascended back to earth allowing his feet to catch him bending down to soften the impact and placed his palm flat on the floor for stabilization. Immediately planting himself safely back on the floor Jason shot one leg out toward his side and swung it around the perimeter of his body in a full circular motion allowing for his other leg and hands to hop over it with every rotation he made round and round. Seamlessly with the same rotation creating leg he brought it around in a windmill formation shooting his body vertical with his feet reaching toward the ceiling and both his hands pushing the earth away. As he spun upside down Jason eventually rotated perfectly to his feet again.

When he regained his hold on reality he heard the crowed from the upstairs balcony overlooking the dance floor cheer him on. He heard people shouting “Dude that was sick!” “Awesome Bro!” “Do it again!” He quickly became embarrassed and slowly made his way back to Merta. Her face was lit up like a million fireworks “That was amazing!” She exclaimed in excitement.

“Thanks” Jason replied with another half smile “That’s what you get when your mother puts you in dance for twelve years.” He says trying to push the credit onto circumstance and not his own abilities. The glow in her face shone brightly; Jason appreciated the admiration, but had other things on his mind looking at her. He had wished that he could have made L’s face look like that when they were together. He doesn’t recall ever seeing her face shine for him like Merta’s did that night. I wish I could have impressed L like that… Maybe she wouldn’t have left if she thought I was as amazing as this girl does now.

Jason rested a little longer with Merta holding onto his arm as if she were claiming her territory or something. The beat slowed down a lot and became softer. The two took their place on the dance floor once again and dance slowly to the trance melody. Somehow they made their way over to an unmanned bar on the dance floor. Being as tired as he was Jason leaned up against it and Merta slowly made her way closer and closer toward him. Eventually she was resting on his chest and slowly his arms wrapped around her. He held her close, but he wasn't holding Merta. In his mind he was holding onto L. The illusion grew stronger and stronger eventually compelling Jason’s mind to actually believe that it was L which he held within his arms. His hand reached up and caressed her hair. With every strand running through his fingers his breathing slowed down and he became very calm. He felt peace believing he was with her again after so long. He smiled sincerely as the music slowed to a stop. The lights came on and there it was again, that stare he felt before. He looked up at the dancers and scanned every eye, but none toward him. He kept looking around and eventually made his sight over toward the DJ stand and what he saw up there shot his heart into a frenzy of beats and then halted to a complete stop. His eyes locked on the person who was staring at him the whole night; the two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Time completely stopped; He couldn’t believe he found L staring back at him.

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[yuki]

“Are you here with a crowed or anything'' crowed should be changed to crowd.