Chapter Three

   Jason sat there at the end of the highway gazing at the ocean of lights that his city was emitting. The trunk of his car popped open, him sitting in the open space there with a cigarette burning in between his fingers. He takes puff of his cancer stick and lets out a small sigh.

            “Damn it,what happened to us?” he says to himself with the voice of a defeated fighter. Jason stares off into the distance recollecting the memories of the last two years. He considers every memory, all the laughs, tears, petty arguments, and every kiss shared. He searches his thoughts trying to find an answer to his predicament. Jason takes another drag letting the smoke fill his lungs and blows out all his stress from his nostrils. Another sigh, scratches the back of his head and lowers it in shame. “Why did I act the way I did? I don’t even understand how I put so much pressure on her.”

            When they split, she told him that she couldn’t handle it anymore. She expressed how she suffered from the feeling of not being good enough for Jason. What she didn’t know was she was his whole world, she meant everything to him. She was far more than he could ever want. She was everything he wanted before he even knew what he desired. He found his perfect girl and lost her.

            “’Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all’ huh?” Jason shook his head and turned his attention to the stars “I say ignorance is bliss.” The cigarette running low, the wind picking up and the cold emerging as the night went on. Jason knew he shouldn’t stay at this place that he had once cherished. He didn’t want to leave; he wanted to remain within this place of serenity. So many memories, their first kiss, where he took her for his own, the place where they made sweet love.

            Atop the free way, where the city could be seen beautifully, was a place he could never forget. It's a very special place in his heart. He made memories with her here. He made his first stepping-stone toward the future he desired here. He couldn’t promise her the world, nor did he make any attempt to, but he swore that he would always be there; he would never leaver her side and never let his love dissipate. He stayed true to his promises, but the way he made her feel inside was completely opposite of his true intentions. He tried making her feel loved, wanted, needed, although she felt differently. She was feeling inadequate, not enough, unloved. Jason didn’t know what he was doing to her at the time. He had no idea. The girl told him every once and a while, but he just wasn’t interpreting her words correctly. He didn’t completely how she was feeling.

            Jason slammed his trunk shut with frustration and irritation toward himself. He rounded the side of his car and implanted himself in the drivers seat. The engine revved with intensity as he ignited his Split car. The speakers roared with rhymes and rhythms as his wheels burned rubber. He launched from the small dead end road and bolted down the high way back home. “If only I knew the knowledge I now posses!” He screamed out. He pounded his steering wheel “I could have kept her with me!” Weaving in and out of traffic barely missing semi after semi Jason drove with anger. “I know I can be better, I know I can do things differently!” His eyes began to tear up, vision turning blurry. The speedometer rising past 100mph was slowly becoming blurry from his water eyes. He tried clearing the liquescent from his face, but when he looked up he witnessed an enormous car accident taking place right before him; tires flying in the air, cars rolling and crashing right in front of him. His speed was too great for a halting stop. He tried slowing as much as he could but his car was soon lost within the cloud of chaos.

Reviews

[Taal Vastal]

Yay, plot! Time skips are always cool. I think you handled this one pretty well. A few things - this chapter is much, much shorter than the previous one, which (annoying though it may be) needs to be considered since it can mess with the pacing for the reader. Secondly, you still occasionally change tense - almost the entire story is told in the past tense, but occasionally you slip into the present (things like "it's a very special place" are the sort of present-tense things that seem to be slipping through. Once again, the time skip was well handled, but I think maybe a little more brooding to lengthen this chaper out would make it far more immersive.

[Joey]

Brooding! Yes, I can do brooding. I do it on a daily basis almost. But yeah, you're right it would make it longer and give the character more of a personality.
Question: Since there are time skips, wouldn't present tense and past tense surely change anyway? I mean this chapter is told in present tense but the some other chapters are told from years ago so they would be told in past tense right?
Or would the whole entire story be told in past tense?

[Taal Vastal]

It's fine to write some chapters in present tense and some in past tense if you want to - thought that would confuse me if I tried! But the problem is just switching tenses sentence-by-sentence. For instance, if this chapter is meant to be told in present tense, then the first sentence and most of the second are in the wrong tense (past tense, in this case: "Jason SAT there...the trunk of his car POPPED open..." and so on).

[Joey]

Oh! Gotchya! yeah, there will be a lot of that. All these are only rough first drafts, I need to do a lot of editing. That's why I posted them here to help me out with that.
Thank you