What if...

What if I showed you...

  A distant world

 

Where time is as abundant as air

  Never rushing, never late

    Surrounded by the always accompanying sense

      Of serenity, of peace

 

What if I told you...

  There is a place

 

Where laughter rains like water

  Lazy smiles, lazy days

    Rainbows of perpetual bliss

     Death held at bay by ever shining light

 

What if I could lead you...

  To a far off kingdom

 

Where life thrives as much as the sun shines

  Rapturous thoughts, effervescent minds

    Not growing up, not withering away

      Staying ageless for eternity

 

But now...

 

What if I spoke to you...

  the truth

 

The sun died long ago

  leaving the planet

    cold and dead

      to rot in everlasting darkness

 

There is but one drop of water

  Not enough to save the man

    dying of thirst in his own fields

      that were once held in reverence by the gods

 

Barely a gasp of air left

  lungs aching, empty

   being sucked into

    a bottomless pit of blackness

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Adelia Alighieri]

The poems speaks up for itself.
This stanza:
Where life thrives as much as the sun shines
Rapturous thoughts, effervescent minds
Not growing up, not withering away
Staying ageless for eternity - has the finest words. Well done!

[Paradoxical]

An interesting concept... very nicely written (as always :D).. I love it! the truth and the dream are two different things... (just a thought)

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know if man is done? I have been to Africa and Central American. They can live on the leftover of the world. I seen people drink water out of water puddles. And would not become sick. The people who will suffer will be the fat rich countries who need electric and flesh tap water. I like the poem. Led us on a positive and negative journey in your words. Poor people of this world are hard and know how to survive. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/2sunny4storms/646688/

Kinda a response at first, but I went a different way. Had to make it a story.

[Goodbye]

Well this took a bit of an unexpected turn, lulling me into a false sense of tranquility, then BAM! Down on my head I go....Excellent write!

Yes, very much Heaven and Hell.

What I find sad is "the truth is Hell."

Here's to those who can still breathe in the blackness, live without water, and find warmth from the cold.

[Cassiopia Summers]

This is great, it starts out fine and dandy, but then the world topples over and everythings in darkness. You've captured the feeling of the world today perfectly, I think. Fantastic poem.

[Poetic Beauty]

wow this poem take a drastic turn at the end. I like the contrast between the beginning and the end of the poem. One seems like heaven and the other seems to describe hell. You have done a great job in describing the details of both these places.

[Weasley]

what is this about...

[ShaneBerry]

a pick up and a let down, we live in the world which is a perfect Happy/Medium of the two contrasting views presented here, this was an exceptional feat Joey! it was like a Yin Yan parody or the dark and light, real and want. this is a write i will read as much as possible, i am even going to share this with my little cousins, this is a true eye opener for people who believe everything revolves around peace and light, you have captured a very bleak and enlightening view and aspect of the reality that is, earth and the beings who inhabit it.