My life

This is pretty much my life. This isn't done, but its almost like a diary. So everything really happens. Whether its a figment of my imagination or not.

Friday

I was in the middle of class, listening to my music, while avoiding conversation between the other students as usual. So much was going through my head. The nice boy, whose heart I broke yesterday and the guys that I actually want. Stupid teenage girl stuff. Even the music that I’ve written and the music I plan on writing, after I get grounded for my stupid grades.

          It’s okay though, I’ve been getting more into witchcraft and other stuff so I’ll have more time to read. I mean that’s what I seem to be interested in at the moment. It’s fairly interesting though. My mom thinks there is something wrong with it and that it’s bad and will only cause bad stuff to impact my life.

          I guess I’m just a little lost in my thoughts today, or this month, or maybe even the past few. It feels like I’ve been high non-stop. It’s pretty ridiculous. I haven’t even smoked in the past few weeks. Oh well, maybe I’m just going crazy. I mean it’s not like it really matters. It’s probably just my nightmares. They are getting so constant. It’s nightly. It’s slowly killing me, I swear.

          I can’t stop thinking about these stupid dreams. I know that they are just an “overactive imagination” at least from my mom’s point of view. The one last night was just so real though… way to real.

          I was walking through a cave. My best guess is that it was for mining because it was covered with wood beams running vertically up against the sides of the walls and ones running horizontally through over the 15 foot tall ceiling. There was even little tracks that seem like they might have been for a mining cart. I stood in the middle of the tracks and in between two beams holding up the sides. I could feel the eyes on me. I felt like someone was watching me. It made me really uneasy.

          I walked farther down the cave and turned into a side tunnel that seemed to lead to some sort of light. As I walked farther down the tunnel the feeling I had of being watched grew stronger and stronger. Then I started hearing a strange hissing sound. It was so real. It was horrifying. I tried to pinpoint where exactly the sound was coming from and is sounded like it was coming from me. I looked everywhere around me but couldn’t find anything. Then I made the mistake of looking up. Above me there was a woman dressed in white.. She was beautiful and almost god like. She seemed like an angel. I whispered shakily a simple “hello” and realized that was a mistake the second after. A smile cracked on her face and then her face warped into that of a wolves. Her body and essence was still so beautiful but there was so much negative energy and evil in one small dainty litter creature. I could feel its presence. Seconds later another woman draped in a pure white dress, emerged from the shadows. She was beautiful just like the other one, except this one had horns. She had horns like a ram. I could see another one coming from the shadows but, suddenly, I heard a buzzing so I didn’t see what the next horror was. The loud buzzing coming towards me. I looked back towards the women creatures but they weren’t there. Then there was a band and scraping noises and the woman were surrounding me. One of them opened there mouths to say something, and a screeching noise came out of its mouth instead and they attacked. That’s when I woke up. I kept hearing the buzzing when I woke up and realized my alarm was going off.

          While reliving this dream in the middle of my math class I realized it was quiet. A little too quiet. I looked up to see my teacher looking at me and the rest of the class snickering quietly.

          “Anyone home today Joie?” My teacher said with a stupid smile on his face.

          “Sorry Mr. Iglitz.” I said with, I’m sure, a very snide tone. He continued with the lesson, I’m sure happy he got to humiliate someone for the day.

          As he continued the lesson my mind started to wander yet again. When I woke up this morning, I was going down the stairs, and I caught a glimpse of one of the women creatures in my house. It was such a small glimpse. Maybe I just hadn’t fully woken up yet. Maybe there is something in my house though. I mean some weird stuff had been happening. You can’t explain the constant banging upstairs when I’m home alone. Maybe it’s just...

          The bell rang and interrupted my thoughts. I walked to my next class with constant hellos and hugs from people that called themselves my friends. They didn’t know what I was going through though. They couldn’t. I couldn’t bother them with it either. They all think that I always look tired because I have a secret boyfriend that’s been keeping me up all night. They all new about Lucus, the boy whose heart I ripped in heart yesterday too. They assumed that I had someone on the side. It’s crazy to think that though. Brandon and I were only a couple for about a month. It’s hard enough to get one boy to like me, how could they expect me to get too.

          I absent-mindedly walked into my next class and sat down. We took notes the entire class so my mind was pre-occupied. It felt amazing not to have to think for once. It was nice.

          Finally the day was over and I was able to go home. I met Miranda after class and walked to the front of the school near the band room where I always socialize before I start heading home. Today was nice because Miranda and Walker were finally having a non-aggressive conversation after their nasty breakup. Thomas came and talked to me for a little bit too. Thomas is my friend Marcus’s brother, twin brother actually. I guess I would consider him my friend now too. I always worry about Philip because I can tell that he’s been through a lot.

          I was about to leave when one of my best friends, Morgan, came by, said hey and grabbed my cheek like normal and gave me a nice hug. He gave me a cigarette like normal with a little soft smile. When he hands it to me, I always know that he is there for me. Its small and no one else understands it, but I do. It’s our own secret language. I said goodbye as he walked towards the busses. I waved goodbye to the rest of my group and started walking home.

          I started walking down the street toward the college which was on my way home. I walked all the way down college drive and past the grocery store and fast food restaurant. I walked down the retirement home and through the old, torn down trailer park. I walked while smoking the cigarette Morgan gave me and put it out right before I walked up to my house.

          When I got home I realized no one else was there so opened the garage and took my 10 pound little dog out for a walk. As I got home I realized that the door to my house was open. I was concerned at first when I walked through the door, so as I unleashed my dog, I texted Evan and told him my predicament. He was concerned and told me to wait outside and call my mother or the cops, but I was already inside so I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and silently walked up the stairs.

          I entered my room to find a huge mess. Not my normal “dirty room” mess. It looked like someone had gone through my stuff. Almost like someone was looking for something specific. I walked through the rest of the house and determined that no one else was at the house. I looked through every single spot that could house another human being.

          I walked down the stairs and made myself a quick lunch just as Marcus called.

          “Are you okay? What happened dude. You stopped texting.” I shrugged and said that I was okay. He said I was reckless and stupid but he was happy that I was okay. I guess that’s good. I know he cares at the very least. From then on I sat with a knife next to me, until my mother came home.

          Once she got home I told her about everything that had happened and she just looked at me like I was crazy. I’m not surprised though. I get that look a lot. After dinner, I walked upstairs and went to sleep.

Author's Note

I would be happy with anything you would like to say.