Love and Life

Wrote this after a breakup with a fiance. We were together for 5 years out of my life. Still hurting 4 years later, but things are getting better and looking up

 

In the one solitude moment of the day that I have, I sit and start pondering on love. "To have loved and lost, is better to have never loved at all"- is bull. What's the point of loving, when you're always losing? The whole sharade of life is sickening to me after living and learning thus far.

It's almost as if I'm drowning. Like swimming in an ocean of vomit, suddenly stopping because I'm so numb from pain. The waves thrashing, seeing the surface rise, pressure getting almost unbearable; but I'm still breathing wondering why wanting so much to die.

Then I start to panic. Start building up that wall, being careful not to let anyone back in. Sometimes, I ask myself, "Is this really my life? Or am I living in my Hell?" 

I dont know why, but I'm starting to forget the girl I used to be. You know, the girl every one loved. I had dreams and ambitions. I used to smile, but now days, I just use it as a mask to cover up how my heart is still broken.

HE took me for granted, and took everything I had and was away from me. Why am I the one who still hurts? Used to, I was afraid of nothing. Now, I'm afraid of living, afraid of death, and so afraid to love again.

I don't know, maybe if I took a couple steps back and traded shoes with someone so to look at it from their shoes, I would then understand. Until then, I'm unable to love...

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Suggestion:

Begin by double or triple spacing between your
ideas in the poem.
Secondly---- I suggest that you read carefully, what you
just wrote. You have done the hard work, you sat down to
the keyboard and spilled your guts. That`s great ! That is where
the real writing begins. No one should try to make corrections while
they are writing about their life and "in the moment".

Now that you have written the important part, the story, go over it
carefully and find every little spelling error, every grammatical error and
correct them. You can do it ! Why leave it to someone else to find ?

Your story is outstanding. You have written a great narrative about love
and the loss of love in your life------Now edit your piece and you will be
amazed at how many sweet reviews you will receive.

Go for it ------ Everyone will be looking for your next writing.

------ Eagle Cruagh

[Sarah]

GRAMMAR!