What Ifs and Why Nots

Have you ever dealt with a problem that seemed like it would never go away? It lurks, yet at the same time stampedes from the darkest corners of your mind. This problem thrives at the opportunity to sink its dull, numb teeth into your gut right at the moment you think it has all been figured out.

A thing of the past.

Yet here it is.

Staring at me from a place I know all too well. A place of broken promises and unmet goals. A place of dying dreams and that oh so pointless question, “What if?”. What if I had actually listened to my parents advice? What if I had gone to school? What if I never started doing drugs? What if I had stood up for myself? What if I asked her out? What if I had hung around them instead? What if I had stayed true to myself?

The question that never ceases.

After you discovered the solution maybe you wished you had never found it in the first place.

What’s with that?

Now that very same problem seems too familiar to let go of.
In some sick self-sadistic way you realize you actually find pleasure in this pain.

What’s with that?

This sense of being stuck comforts you as you say to yourself, “Tomorrow! Tomorrow I will conquer this. No biggie.”
Being saturated in this shallow hope is what gets you through the day. Always dreaming but never seizing.

What’s with that?

I’m here to suggest that perhaps this perceived comfort is actually the problem in disguise. You see, this creature doesn’t want you to realize your true potential. Instead it keeps you comatose. Thinking. Dreaming. Planning. Deciding.

Instead of what will truly free you.
Action!
Sure there is pain involved with action. This pain is necessary. Unlike the pain of what if and why not.