starfire livewire

slightly less dark

here we are

that little blueish ball in the sky

surounded by stars

and still we see the shine in each others eyes

the little glint of hope to a new life

where freedom is mandatory

and life is just our own little expression

even though the race of neo nazi children is being braught up and risen like stalins people

the opression cant stop us

as there are many people in my little black book

with stars and shines youl see

if only just maybe

you would take a look

 

 

 

Author's Note

again not sure of my grammer

Reviews

[Soul Writer]

Oh, I really liked this. It was really meaningful and deep :)And its not really dark! I didn't know you could write like this...

You have a few problems with grammar and spelling, if you like send your stuff to me before you post it and I'll proofread it for you.
"neo nazi children is being braught up and risen like stalins people" This had the most mistakes, it should be;
"neo-Nazi children are being brought up and rising like Stalin's people"
"youl" should be "you'll"
And I would put caps on the first letter of every line.

Really good :)
Soul Writer

[BLACKCRUSH]

" And life is just are own little expression " I liked that verse , I think life is about how you express your self it helps shape who you are as a person.In your poem you mention your " little black book" im curios who is in that book lol lol. I hope that there are people who appreciate you and read your work. On the subject of freedom I feel blessed to live in a country where i am free to write what I choose.I think your write was to the point and very meaningful , well done.