The content is of a proverb, yet you worked with meter.
first stanza
1st line : 3 syllables
2nd line : dimeter
second stanza
1st line : dimeter
2nd line : 5 syllable
3rd line : 5 syllable
Sir Joe, this is very much like Emily Dickinson's both in content and in form.
The content strikes great power and the form is very attractive. I like how you break the lines, the last line of the first stanza is ushering the first line of the second to its place by sharing the same number of meter, then comes the power of the last two lines which are greater than the last of the first stanza. They are like in a process of a dichotomy, to which separation takes place to recognize the other to understand its importance.
Thank you, big sister, for having a deeper-than-the-surface survey and a structuralistic look throug.. read moreThank you, big sister, for having a deeper-than-the-surface survey and a structuralistic look through of this poem of mine. I've heard so much of Emily Dickinson but have read too little about her and her works. I better check her works out. =)
I'm so glad to have had my poems surveyed by keen eyes as yours. =)
Never feel small. I remember you saying, "The first person who should lift you up is you yourself".
Why feel small when others, including I, see you as a great person?
=)
11 Years Ago
The structuralist side of me comes out naturally only when a literary piece has excellent structure... read moreThe structuralist side of me comes out naturally only when a literary piece has excellent structure. I am equally glad to read you Li'l Bro, you are growing at an excellent phase as a poet. ..And thank you for being always a morale booster. It is an honor to be considered as great woman by a highly principled individual such you. ..Keep writing.
11 Years Ago
I'm flattered and overwhelmed. =)
We're both thankful to each other. =)
Let's thank God .. read moreI'm flattered and overwhelmed. =)
We're both thankful to each other. =)
Let's thank God that we're siblings by heart =)
I like this just as it is. It says a lot in the 5 simple lines. Never judge a book by it's cover, pe.. read moreI like this just as it is. It says a lot in the 5 simple lines. Never judge a book by it's cover, people want to (but don't always) appear as if they know what they are talking about, and consider everyone a friend and an ally...until they open their mouths, that is. That is when their true nature is revealed!
Nice...
thank you so much Dean,,,,you're not just a very impressive writer but also a great critic,,,,thank.. read morethank you so much Dean,,,,you're not just a very impressive writer but also a great critic,,,,thanks for appreciating my works (=
12 Years Ago
You are more than welcome sir joe, and thanks for the compliment :D
Stoneville, Oragonland, Pearl of the Orient Seas, Philippines
About
Writing is one way I preserve memories, ideas, thoughts, and moments. When I write, I feel I keep a record of the pieces of my existence. Through writing, my deepest emotions become unrestrained, the .. more..