MASQUERADE PARTY

When life seems to be in a sick masquerade party.

To drink the potion of forgetfulness

Perhaps is my own way to never think

Of that so lovely face you so possess

That when I see, I fight the need to blink.

And when I crack a quip, you speak with wit

And some short giggle ruled by modesty;

Your speech is fine, it really does befit

What woman really is ideally.

If they can buy your grace through which you glow,

Expect a lot of heads to fall in line

In hopes your grace to them you will bestow

As if they're glasses waiting for some wine.

You give me hard time just to look away;

Remove your mask, enough now with the play!

Author's Note

This is my first ever Shakespearean sonnet.
Shakespearean sonnet is a fourteen-line poem in iambic pentameter composed of three quatrains followed by a couplet. The rhyme pattern is abab cdcd efef gg.
This is the form perfected by William Shakespeare.

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hmnnn...something satirical. LOL

Glad you have that author's note...I don't have any idea that this is a sonnet since you didn't use the standard iambic pentameter in each line...but you did like how Shakespeare used "rhythmic variations" like "inversion" and "weak or feminine ending" in his plays and sonnets.


As to the topic (pretension, deception)...there are times we feel we are being deceived by some people. It's normal to feel like how you feel. But how true is that statement that "he who can determine a good play is a good actor"? LOL. Forgive me...I'm in the mood to joke. Hope you're in a good mood when you read this. :)

I remember someone who said these to me: "You don't have to explain everything about yourself to me. I don't believe each person must show everything just to be called real. There are things which should be kept personally and there are some which can be shown to the whole world." So this means everyone is possibly wearing his mask. Now, in your statement "Life isn't always a masquerade party", it already tells that sometimes there's a need to wear a mask...but it shouldn't be always. And I believe that nobody could wear his/her mask throughout the whole day or night or party...or he/she could be tasting his/her own sweat behind that mask before the day/night/party ends. LOL

The ending line shows that the voice is already pissed off watching the woman wearing the mask. Hope when he/she see the face behind the mask, he/she will be satisfied...or...be surprised. :)

Thank you for sharing this clever piece, SJ. :)

[Sir Joe]

Dhaye, thank you for the in-depth scrutiny of this poem. And yes, you're right in saying he who can determine a good play is a good actor. The proof is right here, writing this response. LOL. I admit, I am a good actor; both onstage and in real life. But much of that is not merely pretense but rather professionalism.

After writing the poem, I carefully checked if it really follows the consistency of the stressed-unstressed sequence of each pair of syllables. I must admit I was not able to perfect that. Writing a Shakespearean sonnet is indeed a very tough job. Yes, I was able to become consistent with the metric scheme of ten syllables per line, but I see it still doesn't flow in a consistent iambic manner.

I love your interpretation of the poem. Thank you so much, Dhaye!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hey, I said you didn't follow the standard...BUT I reviewed it and I found out that you have followed rhythmic variations usually used by Shakespeare...so please don't bother yourself with that.
You know, while posting my comment, I prayed that you're in a good mood and my review won't lead to a discourse which I really avoid now. If it would happen, I would just delete my review. LOL.

You're welcome.

[Sir Joe]

Ah! Yes, the inversions. I admit there are some glitches in the iambic scheme of the lines. But sometimes, some lines are really not meant to be read in a ba-BOOM/ba-BOOm/ba-BOOM/ba-BOOM/ba-BOOM manner because of the inherent stress placement on certain words, especially on words containing more than two syllables. So inversions now come into place. (nakaisip palusot) hehe

I have no reason to be in a bad mood today because it is Tuesday, my favorite working day because it is only on Tuesdays when I get to teach literature, one of my favorite subjects. =)

[MARK my Word]

Well done Sir Joe!

Shakespearean Sonnet with a perfect rhyme pattern is not that easy to create nowadays for we have our pattern in speaking not like during the time of Shakespeare where it is their nature of speaking. People with brilliant minds are the one who can create such sonnet as this one. A thumbs-up for you Sir Joe.

Now, Let me share my insight in your literary piece.
You are indeed a poet with imagism flowing in your blood for your piece are so vivid and can be portrayed in the mind of the reader. You have played with the words very well without destroying the structure of the iambic pentameter. The language is so natural and the emotion is felt while it is being read. It feels like you are so comfortable in the language that you are using which allows you to express your ideas in full. Let me sight some:
"To drink the potion of forgetfulness"
"ravishing face you so possess"
" I fight the need to blink"
"giggle controlled by modesty"
"For your grace upon them to be bestowed
Like some glasses waiting for barreled wine."
The emotion of the persona in the piece seems to be stunned by the beauty of the maiden where the world of the persona stops and wanting not to blink.

However, the last two lines that concludes the whole sonnet reveals that she is just a wolf in sheep's clothing. a masquerade play, definitely is the perfect title for this.

A lot of people now a days are fond of showing what is not true just to please the people. They portray themselves as someone who is irresistible and someone who cannot be reached. They love to make people believe on something that brings them to the illusion of believing but at the end of the day, everything is a lie.

In relationships, It is rampant. Let me cite a concrete example. Someone gets into a relationship for the other person believes that someone is in the possession of love but as time marches by, truth is peeping and until such time it is revealed that everything that was believed is just a LIE. Well, on the first thing LIE is at the middle of the word beLIEve so cliche but somewhat true but not absolute.

In beauty, we adore a lot of people because of their gift when it comes to their faces. A lot of people look very good and it pleases a lot of eyes but let us check the inner person because sometimes it is an entire opposite of their beauty. Let us not be fooled by what we normally. Now a days, it is important to scrutinize a person before trusting someone.

A lot more can be discusses as a thematic relevance to this sonnet of your but these are just few of the many things that I want to share. Indeed, Literature is not just a bunch of knowledge but a heap of wisdom as well. Literature is about life and being inclined in to it made me so inlove. If Literature is just a girl, I think I have married it several times and we might have dozens and dozens of children. I am just kidding.

keep on writing and inspire a lot of people through your writing. I remember the last few lines in my poem it says there
express your word and touch other people.

:-)

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Mark, for your kind words. Your review overwhelmed me.
Your visit was unexpected, surprising, and flattering. I appreciate your review very much.

[MARK my Word]

This is the kind of review that I want to give to your literary piece, a review that does not settle for less.
You are welcome... I am always inspired to write whenever you publish a new literary piece. I want to be like you someday Sir Joe but unfortunately it will take me months to achieve that. :-) I am glad that my visit is all worth it. :-)
and by the way...
Congratulations for being the TOP REVIEWER! I am happy for you. keep it up !

[Sir Joe]

You don't have to want to be like me. You just have to be you. You just have to let out the great writer in you.

[MARK my Word]

Well, I want to believe that there is great in me... :-) Thank you :-)

[Fire Mage Andrea]

"the potion of forgetfulness" - is that alcohol by any chance? I ask because alcohol can numb the brain and cloud our judgements and memories.
I also like how you seem to have used William Shakespeare as inspiration, but kept the verse modern.
It would be interesting to see how Shakespeare himself would have wrote this poem.
"To each quip I crack, you respond with wit" shows how evenly matched these two people are

[Jayden Goodrem]

I am a great fan of William Shakespeare's work and I think that you used the iambic pentameter will and the abab cdcd efef gg movement well also. I like it well done.
Now to the content. I like the theme also, I like the way it portrays the struggles of this person you are writing whether it be you or someone that you know.

[KAin]

This is an impressive first attempt , Sir Joe. As a note to iambic pentameter (and why i don't use it in my own form) i found that the accepted "da-DUM, da-DUM" rhythms are rather constricting, but i think that, with a few minor exceptions here and there, you manage to follow it admirably. I suspect you'll only get better at it when you try it again. Iambic pentameter is meant to come naturally to English language, but it's often much harder to accomplish in verse, particularly when you attempt it in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. I look forward to seeing more of these from you.

Life often does feel like a masquerade. Even when someone is most likely being honest with you, you find yourself second-guessing them. The trick, of course, is to find those you can trust without question. There are so few of those in the world.
However, i read the ending a little differently. Rather, i saw it as the narrator hardly daring to believe that what is presented could possibly true. Where does the fault lie? In the woman for her pretensions? In the narrator for his cynicism? Or in the world for necessitating such doubts and contrivances? Well written, as always, Sir Joe. Keep writing.

[Sir Joe]

Landred, I am surprised to have been intrigued by the questions you posed in the last part of your review. Such thoughts can only be conjured by men of great wisdom.

I really admire how you critically think and how you eloquently deliver your thoughts.

Thank you so much, by the way, for another constructive review. I certainly will write another Shakespearean sonnet, mainly because of the motivation coming from a fellow literature lover.

[KAin]

You're most welcome, friend. Great wisdom, you say? Perhaps i am wiser if i admit that, placed in the position of being asked, i would not know the answer to those questions yet? Yet the will to understand oneself is part of what it means to be a writer, i think... Anyway I'm glad to serve as motivation. I look forward to reading the next one!

[KlineXcreed]

Good work, I love the thoughts! Beautiful!

[gabrielle]

Using the guidelines you mentioned below, here's what I have to say:

Structure/Form of a sonnet:
1. Syllable: 10 syllables: In your piece, you strictly abide by the rules
2. Lines: 14 There are 14 lines in here. Well-done
3. Rhyme Scheme: Of course you achieve, the rhyme scheme well
4. Meter: iambic pentameter: Mr. Google referred to me to site that said Iambic pentameter is “baBOOM/baBOOM/baBOOM” and I got lost. So I’ll just assume that you complied with it so that I could go to the more interesting part of the piece: the CONTENT. =)

The elaborate description/observation made me think that the poetic voice is perhaps talking about someone he knew of or someone he is very close with. Why? He knew that the “ravishing beauty” is not only physically beautiful but also possesses wit that could charm others like wine. He knew that her laugh is controlled. He knew how refined her speech is and how graceful she is. All these attributes could only be known/observed when we have been with the person for quite some time.

But the last line is the most interesting part for me: “Remove your mask now, enough with the play!” ah, such strong cynicism in here.

I asked myself, to whom is this last line addressed to?

(1) Is it for the poetic voice? Is he convincing himself to drop off all his pretensions and to finally admit his admiration over the ravishing yet pretentious beauty? (2) Or is last line directed to the ravishing beauty? Is the poetic voice convincing her to stop all those pretensions after all he could already see through her perceived beauty, perceived wit and perceived charm? (3) or perhaps the last line is just a statement of being beguiled. Indeed, beauty even intelligence/wit could sometimes be utilized as a means to deceive.

I must say that structure is meticulously executed and the content is something to reflect on. Impressive sir joe!

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Gab, for the thorough look-through of this poem of mine. I'm glad you appreciate it.

There is really no doubt that a literary piece assumes a life of its own for it has the ability to elicit varied interpretations which may not be considered wrong unless unsupported. The meaning that I intended to convey does not really count much for it is the poem that speaks for itself, not the poet. And the same goes with other literary pieces. Writing is for the author as to interpretation is for the readers.

Peace be with you.

[gabrielle]

my pleasure, sir joe. peace be with you, too =)