Mutual Misunderstanding

A war of words will make things worse.

U and I

Face to face,

Standing still, staying firm

On top of each other’s own stage,

Exchanging world’s worst words in misusage.

Every exclamation is a few degrees of on-axis rotation.

Our angst reaches limit; both sinned, but neither can admit it.

For exactly a hundred and eighty degrees, we both turn,

Your eyebrows’ connection proves ireful emotion

My gritted teeth show pride you can’t beat.

Your clenched fists, my fast heartbeat;

Our anger, we really can’t keep.

Blind, we don’t mind

Back to back

U and I

Reviews

[Pax]

this was stuck on my library for a time now... and i still haven't give you my thoughts even though i had read it for quite awhile... sorry about that sir Joe... You know how i highly respect your piece and how good they are as from my mentor maam belle... :) hehe ....ok enough with the blabbering... :-D

Pride... the most common and the most hardest to avoid among the line of human nature.... anger... the most hardest to control... and when both unite in one emotional outburst... a high wall is instantly created... then we are blind, totally closed to any clear judgement... because our mind is set to one goal now... pride to protect ourselves.... anger to fight back... in everything balance for self control is the most important in dealing any problem...

this is really great sire!

[Sir Joe]

Don't be sorry about that thing. It's ok with me.
I agree with you. Pride is really a dangerous thing. It risks the lives of healthy relationships.
Thank you so much, Sir Paxie.

[Wórdsmíth]

Nice diamond of words!! Yeah, mutual misunderstandings's a reason of beginning of wars among the world, in the hearts. Good to read!

[danish]

Its is soo in flow i cant get it out if my head love your poems...

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Danish.

[danish]

What you of my first poem

[danish]

What you of my first poem

[Sir Joe]

What is that again?

[danish]

I mean what you think about my first poem and sorry for the error

[A Poet Named Garit]

I really like this piece. I like the flow and "bounce" it has to it, especially in "Our angst reaches limit; both sinned, but neither can admit it." This style of poetry is one of my favorite forms and you really nailed it with the 180 degree turn aspect. I like how the start gradually ends; I often find people making the upper half almost completely opposite to the lower, but you manage to smoothly go from face-face to back-back. Good piece, indeed.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Garit. =)
I'm happy you like it!

- joe

[gabrielle]

Your words thoroughly painted a vivid scenario of lover's in war- reading it was like watching a movie. Likewise, the structure (or format) is absolutely unique. This is meticulously done, Sir Joe. Thank you for sharing this.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Gabrielle. I just think that the more restrictions there are in writing a poem, the more impressive and beautiful the work becomes.
=) I'm so glad you have looked not only at the subject matter of the poem but also at the way the poem was written. =)

[gabrielle]

i must admit that following certain rigid structure or format would give a classic touch in a poem. But for someone like me who's still having difficulties in terms of the substance, structure/format is something that i tend to disregard most of the times. but i am learning a lot here ..^__^..

[Sir Joe]

It's ok, at least you put some artistry in your works. Along the way, everything will just get better when you allow yourself to innovate. =)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

especially a war of words if texting...people can be standing right next to each other and not communicating...well done here...there is perfect symmetry to the poem but not in the relationship...they are back to back but not expressing, not listening...

just pushing each other's buttons...and the text is getting lost somewhere in the anger.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Sir Jacob. If neither of the two persons can give up his/her pride, the fire of anger in them will just keep burning.

[carol burgess romance]

I enjoy this format, I have experimented in concrete poetry, I believe this is the form, lots of work and time goes into such a peice...like your style

[Sir Joe]

Carol, thank you so much. By the way, I really did not intend it to become a concrete poetry. =)

[Frieda P]

Relatable and great imagery in this one, been there myself, who will win this contest of wills. Like how it ends where it began, not usually crazy about the use of U and I...but it works in this piece.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, Frieda! =)

[Frieda P]

The pleasure was mine :-)

[Dhaye]

I like the concept of this poem...anger and pride between two persons. You are really great when it comes to prosody and other elements of poetry, and I really admire you for that.
However, concrete poems form a picture of the topic or follows the contour of a shape that is suggested by the topic. A diamond shape means a path of life, or life itself. In this poem, your path of life is in negative track (u against the other one).
Since concrete poetry already shows an image, my only suggestion is it's not necessary to put an image in the content of the poem so that the emphasis is on the shape itself. Other than that, I like this profound piece of yours. Hope to read more concrete poems from you 'cause I really like this type. Thanks for sharing this. :)

[Sir Joe]

Dhaye, thank you for your comment. =)
I didn't intend it to be a concrete poetry. Neither did I make it to be one. Diamond or your meaning of diamond has nothing to do with the content. I just intended it to appear in the form that you see above because both ends of that shape (top and bottom) are narrowed down. The simple picture of two people facing each other and the simple scenario of the same persons turning their backs are respectively the narrow beginning and the narrow ending of the poem. Yet, in the middle of those two simple parts is a big fight (as you can see, the middle part is bulging). The poem is narrowed at the poles and bulging at the equator.
=)
Whatever the poem imprinted in your mind, I fully respect it. I just had to defend the way the writer wrote it. I have nothing against your interpretation of the piece.
Piece be with you, Dhaye! =)

[Dhaye]

Piece(?) be with you, also...and peace be with you, Sir Joe. :)
Poems have different interpretations from different readers...but I do understand now your intention. In this poem, I just said it is concrete because some of the readers interpreted it as it is a concrete poetry, but actually I am really confused if it's really like that because of the image included and the shape itself. If the writer wrote it that way, he is just creative.
Thank you and I hope we won't be such persons with narrow beginning and narrow ending. Peace...peace and more peace. :)

[Sir Joe]

Piece hahahah sorry about the misuse of word hahaha
Thank you so much, Dhaye. Worry not, I don't plan and I don't want to let the both of us be in the same situation as that of the persons in the poem. hehehe
May peace be with all of us. =)

[Belle]

I have to go on-line here in the café just for this for I cannot contain myself not to give my thought about the piece after reading it from the link you have shared in FB. I know that you went through a tough licensure exam this morning and you have beaten the heat of the metro roads to process required documents for your license; I can imagine how tiring your day was, so impressive it is really that you still able to come up with a highly rhetoric creation such this.

Base from the works of the mundane that I have encountered, one of the major flaws of shape poetry I observed is the construction of words, on how they are being weaved; I think because achieving certain form leads to distortion of the content, but as for this one from you, I was looking carefully with the construction of the group of words each line I can tell you have the full control of your language and you successfully presented the meaning even in highly restricted manner. I was just distracted first by the letter “U”, but as I go on with the reading I have thought of it as a piece of evidence on the context of the use of the Modern English language, "U' is a slang word for “you” which is still very much acceptable in a literary piece. The word, in fact made me remember the poem "Song of the Tear-gassed Man" by Cirilo F. Bautista wherein the poet used informal words to convey his thought.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, big sister, for the constructive review. =)
I'm so happy that this poem has satisfied your standards. =)
=)

[Sir Joe]

Big sister, just wait for my review of your "Unsung Nymph", ok? I need to do some research in order to fully extract its juice. =) Oh, by the way, should you decide to take the exam in manila, worry not and review not. It's just a piece of cake (hehehe), especially for a person who has a background on investment. =)
I'll see you around. =)

[Belle]

Li'l Bro, I know you are too busy, you can give the review during your spare time. No pressure, come'on. :) About the exam, I am happy that you made it. I am thinking to do the same lol. See yah around...

Waiting for your next poem. :)

[Sir Joe]

Take the exam asap! I heard you have a big case to be submitted on the first of May. I'm so happy for you! =)

[Belle]

Ha Ha. I am crossing my fingers, I hope she won't change her mind for if she will, we will be for sure like the photo in your poem :)

[Sir Joe]

Hahaha I'm also crossing my fingers for you. hahaha You'll close the deal, I believe. =)

[Sir Joe]

"Do your best and hope for the best."
That's our motto after crossing the line. =) hahaha