Democracy

A short poem about the gains of democracy.

The ballot box does my persistent fights convey,
to restore what predatory lords did cart away;
because I cast my vote for good governance to enjoy;
that I may integrity in governance employ
by firing evil men who human rights destroy.

Author's Note

A short poem about the gains of democracy.

Reviews

[JayG]

• by firing evil men who human rights destroy.

Ah... speak like Yoda you do.

Seriously, you're far too focused on rhyming, to the point of bending the line to the needs of the rhyme, and sounding like Yoda. But the rhyme is an accent to the thought, not the purpose of the poem. In fact, done well, the rhyme seems almost incidental, the perfect word to convey the thought.

You might want to take a look at Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. The lady is brilliant. And some of the things she points out, like why we tend to use the word rock when it's jagged and stone when the surface is smooth, might be worth passing on to the kids you teach. You can pick up a usable PDF copy at the address below, though you'll probably want a hard copy, eventually..

https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/