A certain sadness

A certain sadness,

seems to start,

ignites my madness,

I'm falling apart.

They say time will heal,

but they're wrong,

All I can feel,

is your empty song.

It doesn't consume me,

like once, I thought,

only seems to empty,

emotions I sought.

And one day I swear,

I saw you ahead,

but that's unfair,

because you're dead.

Author's Note

First attempt at heartbreak poetry, its definitely shaky! but I'd really appreciate reviews, good or bad!

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

This speaks to me of a heartbreak that is still roaming in the Poet's heart... The tone is very melancholic and yet it's beautiful in its own way... The ending was very sad and really hard for any person who have witnessed heartbreak... Well done mate...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Jocie de Jaune]

Thank you Dhiman :)

[Dove]

This is beautiful.It seems a bit quick though, the lines are very short. But I do really like this work. It is all so true/relateable about sadness and heartbreak and loss.

[Jocie de Jaune]

thank you! I did feel the flow was fast but thought maybe that echoed the quick and rushed phases you feel after a loss... but think I will make some adjustments to smooth it out, or I'll keep speed in mind for my next poem! Tanks!x :D

[Anne Verona]

Wow... I... I did not expect that last line, and because of it the whole poem just becomes tragic, sad and very real. This is one beautiful poem.

[Jocie de Jaune]

Thank you so much Anne! :)

[Anne Verona]

No problem :)

[C]

Doesn't matter how long will it take for a wound to be cured, the important thing is that it healed. Nice work, Jocelyn :)

[Jocie de Jaune]

Thank you! :)

[Leindor]

you are so good at conveying emotion!

[Jocie de Jaune]

Thank you so much, Brittany!xxx :)

[Willard Wells]

Time will heal you, but how much time will it take. Beautiful piece and thank you for sharing

[Jocie de Jaune]

Thank you! Means a lot! :)

[Nadia B.]

I love everything about this poem you have written. The title does not simply say it is about being sad but it acknowledges that the poem is about a particular type of sadness. The emotions you express are not only raw and real but also fully relatable. You make the reader feel for you, and that takes skill. My only suggestion would be to Capitalize the every word after a period, starting a new Stanza, such as 'they,' 'it,' and 'and.' Also grammar in last line you are = you're, so "because you're dead." I know these are little things but with poetry every sentence, every line, its position, its composition, grammar, every word has importance for how the audience is to read and interpret your poem. For example your third line "ignites your madness," the word your ...does this refer to you, the person who has passed away, or to people in general who feel this madness? ...honestly though as a first attempt at heartbreak poetry you really show talent and great potential, so please keep writing, can't wait to read more! (Although I do hope for you healing, if not over time, then at least through acceptance. The people we lose are never really gone, as long as we remember them, that's how we help them live on.)

[Jocie de Jaune]

Wow, thank you so much! Can't tell you how much this means to me! And that you've taken the time to write such a long review is really lovely. I'll definitely change it, And I totally understand where you're coming from, my would be more suitable than your. Thanks again, makes me find the time to keep on writing!

[justdandy]

This is a very good poem.. It describes how heartbroken you really are

[Jocie de Jaune]

thanks :) it really means a lot, keeps me wanting to write!!!

[Jocie de Jaune]

oh and I've reviewed your poem 'dreams' it's great :)