untitled (revised)

untitled (revised)

A Story by joanneb344
"

ok down to 260 words now!!!!

"

Jenna sat at her desk trying to be invisible.  She had thought if she only stayed at the party for a little while, just pretended to be normal for a few hours everything would be fine.  Then this boy had actually wanted to talk to her. She had heard the snickering behind her as the other girls noticed them and had lead him down the garden path where they couldn't be heard.  She had just wanted the moment to last a few seconds longer.

  As she looked up shyly at him she saw the look of horror on his face. She looked down not understanding.  That's when she saw it.  She was standing in a patch of clover.  She put her hand out toward him trying to think of an explanation. He took a step away from it.  His look of horror turning to revulsion.

"Stay away," he stammered backing up out of her reach, "Just... stay away from me.  You're... not human."  
 
"Kyle please, stop yelling.  I'm harmless... just a fairy," She reached out for him.


Don't touch me!" he had screamed.   

"Hey freak!" the boy in front of her sneered slamming a paper down on her desk making her squeal.  "Wake up!"

Jenna swallowed past her heart and tried not to hear the laughter as she looked at the paper.

"What is it that makes you different from the people around you?  Write an essay in 200 words or more."

Jenna put her forehead on her desk and even she couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying

© 2008 joanneb344


Author's Note

joanneb344
Revision of my earlier writing exercise story. Now down to 260 words.

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Reviews

Smooth!! very nice changes work and down to 260!! ten away from the number your looking for... :-D I guess I missed the subtlety the first time around about the clovers and reading it again I get it. nice touch. Its an interesting beginning (something from the middle) works so well!!

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on June 18, 2008
Last Updated on June 18, 2008

Author

joanneb344
joanneb344

Lynn, MA



About
I have been writing for my own pleasure since my early teens. I am the mother of four children. I work in a local nursing home in the activity department. I have not written anything in a long time.. more..

Writing
untitled untitled

A Story by joanneb344