Better Tomorrow

A Story by Righter

This is just the opening to a short story I am working on. Does it grab your attention? How would you suggest I improve it?

“… When you laugh certain organs are stimulated, your heart rate and blood pressure increase, and over a period of time your body will release neuropeptides. When you cry from sadness, your tears…” he had to stop to take a drink; he had been talking so quickly that his saliva hadn’t been able to keep up. At this point you could see the excitement and energy just radiating from his every gesture and his eyes grew wider, “your tears produce more manganese and prolactin than what is necessary for the normal rewetting of the eyes!!!” he ended with a great burst of excitement as if his enthusiasm was supposed to somehow spark a revelation in me.

The look of confusion must have been evident on my face because after a brief pause he continued on with his excited rampage of words, “The HDA has given us all the information needed to know what the body is doing and why! This is more than every scientist has ever dreamt of having!! Is the suspect lying or telling the truth? We know by picking apart his sensory system!! The body’s reactions to stimulus are so neatly defined. Some of those reactions are ensnarled in a complex type of cypher; but we finally have the technology to unlock the physical encryption!! Why the only information we can’t access, yet, is thoughts. My how entertaining that discovery could be!” He chuckled as he considered the possibility, “Also, the HDA is equipped with a unique tracking mechanism; if a boy is lost in the woods, we can find him! The implications are literally endless!! Crimes will be solved without the guesswork or speculation, medical research and development will make epic breakthroughs!! Why we could…”

His voice trailed off as thoughts swirled through my head. The implications are literally ENDLESS…. The room started to dance and sway underneath my feet.I felt violated. The entire human race could be put under constant observation, and we all welcomed it with open arms.