Wretched Beasts

Sometimes safaris are fun. This one wasn't.

 

Wretched Beasts

 

 

            Lauren’s lunch was being very uncooperative; it threatened to jump from her stomach each time the jeep passed over the slightest bump or imperfection in the road. The sweltering and unforgiving heat wasn’t much help either. She leaned forward, struggling to keep the contents of her stomach in their proper place by focusing on the cover of her guide book.

            That was even less helpful than the heat. The cover was decorated with an enormous lion whose mouth was open in what Lauren could only assume was a roar, showing off his impressive array of razor-sharp teeth. He had a billowing, golden mane that made him look even more hulking and intimidating than he already was. Whoever had taken the picture probably thought it was an incredibly majestic and beautiful representation of the savannahs of Africa.

            Lauren couldn’t have disagreed more. She hated lions; they gave her the willies. To Lauren the cover of her guidebook was nothing more than an unsettling reminder that she was surrounded by blood-thirsty beasts that were designed for only one purpose: to kill. She couldn’t believe she had let her mom drag her on this stupid vacation. “Let’s go on a safari,” her mom had said. “It’ll be fun, we’ll meet an entirely new culture, and just think of all the exotic animals we’ll see!”

            “Sure,” thought Lauren. “Fun, until one of the exotic animals eats your face.” Lauren just couldn’t get into the, “Hey, look, that thing’s big and has fur” attitude. She didn’t like animals. She thought they were dumb and boring and that they stank in addition to being very scary. (As any of her teddy bear body guards would tell you, Lauren hated scary things even worse than broccoli flavored cough drops.)

            Taking all of this into account, it is completely understandable that when Lauren finally felt well enough to look up and saw that her family had left her alone—probably wandering off to take pictures of albino tortoises or perhaps some other equally uninteresting organism—she went into a full-blown panic. For a moment she held impossibly still, her dark green eyes nervously moving from side to side.

            Then, unfortunately (though maybe fortunately for you, because if it hadn’t happened the rest of this story would have been much less interesting), a cricket chirped. That unexpected sound was enough to push Lauren over the edge. She jumped up and began to scream, “Ahhhh!” while running in frantic circles around the jeep.

            This was a very bad idea for several reasons. First, if she had kept her cool she might have been able to think of a plan, an impossible feat in her current flustered state. Second, “Ahhhh!” is actually African for “Yay!” so if any one had heard her, they would have almost certainly failed to recognize the urgency of her situation. Third, and most importantly, not only does running in circles not get you anywhere, it’s also very tiring. When the lions came—as they invariably would following her high-pitched and frightened shriek—all of that wasted energy would be sorely missed.
            Lauren heard a deep, angry voice over her own blood-curdling cries.

            “Can’t you shut that girl up!?”

            Another voice answered, “And just what am I supposed to do about it?!”

            Lauren paused in mid-stride, her eyes like saucers, and slowly turned around.

            “Do you think she heard us?” said the first voice.

            “Quiet!”

            She gazed out over the savannah and saw no one, only a slight rustling in the straw-colored grass.

            “W-w-who’s there?” she stammered.

            No answer. A gentle wind began to blow, causing a few blades of grass to shift, revealing two menacing, formerly hidden shapes. Their well-muscled feline bodies were slowly moving in Lauren’s direction, skillfully stalking their prey.

            Lauren heard the first voice once more, “Bill, I think she’s spotted us.”

            “Are you sure?” whispered the second.

            “Quite.”

            Lauren was too entranced by the approaching lions to look for the owners of the voices. Her eyes were glued to the faces of the intimidating animals. She felt unnerved, not only because of their deadly claws and teeth, but also because they seemed to have a look of intelligence, of cold calculation. And if she hadn’t known better, she could have sworn that they were moving their mouths in a rather odd fashion. Not hungrily, there was no licking of the chops, it was almost as if they were trying to communicate.

            Lauren was trembling as the distance between her and the lions grew ever smaller; it was all she could do not to collapse into a frightened heap.

            “P-p-please don’t hurt me,” she muttered, as if that would make any difference.

            “No one’s going to hurt you foolish girl,” said the first voice

            “Humans,” added the second. “Such excitable creatures. I never could understand them.”

            Lauren stared vacantly, trying to figure out what in the world was going on. “Did you just talk?” she asked.

            “Of course, who else?” said the first lion, his gorgeous mane rippling as he spoke.

Lauren gasped.

            “Please stop that,” said the second lion. “You’ve already scared away all the good hunting for miles, you could at least have the decency to stop shrieking at us.”

            The other lion was lazily stretching and licking his paw. “Speaking of manners,” he said, “My name’s Bill, and this is my friend, Andrew. Now that we are acquainted we’d best be going, I’ve got a very important rugby game scheduled for this afternoon.”

            The two lions turned and began to walk away. Lauren was still staring, wondering if she had lost her mind, and if she hadn’t, just what exactly did one do in this situation?

            “Come along now,” said Andrew.

            “You want me to come with you?!” answered Lauren, her voice shaking with fear.

            “Obviously,” said Andrew in a tone that was a bit more arrogant than the situation would call for. “We can’t very well leave you here now that you know our secret. Humans are such a bother, and if it was let on that we could talk, why, we’d never get a moment’s rest. They would flock to our homes with cameras and cars and all sorts of loud, bothersome things. I find it simply best to avoid the wretched beasts whenever possible.”

            “But what will my family think when they come back to find me missing?”

            “Oh, don’t worry about that. Bill’s rather talented with special effects. A little blood here, a few claw marks there, and by the time he’s finished any one who passes by will be convinced that you were slaughtered and carried off by some ravenous animal.”

            “Delightful,” said Lauren, who was becoming queasy at the very thought.

            “Yes,” said Bill. “I am quite skilled when it comes to theatre work. In fact, I believe I will be playing the lead in my theater crew’s production of Hamlet.”

            “Show off,” muttered Andrew under his breath.

            “What’s that?”

            “I said we need to leave.”

            Andrew gently yet firmly took Lauren’s hand in his powerful jaws and led her towards a lush gathering of tropical trees. As they moved deeper into the jungle the foliage became increasingly dense; if Lauren hadn’t had such experienced guides she would have surely starved before ever finding a way out.

            After what seemed like hours the suffocating jungle opened into a secluded yet immense clearing. Here, within the very heart of Africa was a massive city inhabited only by lions. Lauren was mesmerized as she walked down a marble paved road, sky-rises looming on either side. All of the lions seemed to have a very laid-back, leisurely, if somewhat stuck-up attitude.

            Lauren couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of two of the aristocratic lions as she marveled at the city.

            “Those blasted humans have gone and started another war.”

            “What else is new?”

            “Wretched, violent beasts.”

            “I must concur. I believe we should eliminate the lot of them.”

            “Bloody good idea that.”

            Lauren was furious at hearing her species talked about in such a hateful manner and would have surely exchanged some rather nasty words with the perpetrators if she hadn’t at that moment noticed the library. It was enormous, twice the size of Lauren’s entire school. She was enamored by the seemingly endless shelves of books.

            “When am I going to be able to visit that?” she asked, pointing in amazement.

            “Visit?” asked Andrew, perplexed. “Oh no my dear, you will not be visiting any places. You didn’t really think that we were going to allow you to run all nilly willy through our city did you?” He chuckled. “Of course not, you shall be kept in the zoo with all of the other animals.”

            “The zoo!?” she began to say, but before she could finish she felt a sharp stinging sensation in her shoulder. She began to feel groggy then mumbled something about unfairness before promptly losing consciousness.

            Several hours later she awoke in a small caged room about the size of her bedroom. The cage was empty except for a pile of straw, a red rubber ball, a bag of catnip and an odd-colored box of something called “human snacks”.

            Lauren grabbed the ball, sat down on the straw and began to bat it back and forth between her hands. She let out a loooong sigh of resignation.

            As she was playing, a family of lions walked past, the youngest cub pointing and saying, “Look mommy, a real live human!” The cub began to run towards Lauren but its mother stepped forward, putting out a hand to hold back her child.

            “Wait son, those things are dangerous. You’d better stay back.” Lauren looked up and gave the family a less than pleasant look.

“Stupid lions,” she grumbled.

 

Author's Note

Suggestions are greatly appreciated! Help me make this better and I will lub you.

Reviews

[joshua rainbird]

I want to start by saying that I really enjoyed the way this story had a good switch around in the second half challenging Lauren's perceptions and putting her in the position of the animal. I felt the delivery of the story was slick and imaginative.

I read it as a dream sequence as there were certain elements that didn't seem right in any other context and these were:
- Lauren running around in circles in a jeep - is there enough room ?
- lions living in a jungle - a common misperception but they are plains hunters;
and the big one:
- Lauren suddenly seems to be alone with no explanation, halfway through the story, when the lions approach. We are informed earlier that she is a passenger in a moving vehicle and that she has parents.

Best line in the story: mentioning her teddy bear bodyguards - this summed up Laura's attitude succinctly and softly hinted at the lion's vocalisation later in the piece.

This was a clever bit of writing that demonstrates that you understand young children and their fears yet can deliver a story that also appeals to adults.
That's a rare talent.

[Jamie Fantasy]

Lol! You are such an incredible story teller! Suggestions? Please. You know it should be the other way around!

Are you published yet?

[Marie]

I agree with Cylis, I love reversal. I can just picture the whole scene in my head. I can even imagine hauty (I know that's spelled wrong) aristocratic lions, probably speaking with English accents. Thanks to Cylis for sending this my way. Great write!

[Cylis Derrens]

Lol, funny stuff. I love the role reversal.

[Brie]

I love it! Very creative making the lions live a civilized society. I never would have thought of that. And the twist at the end, where they put her in the zoo... brilliant, and funny! I didn't know Ahhhh! means Yay! I can't think of any corrections. It was great!
-Brie