Internet TrollsA Story by The WatcherMy description of trolls.
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Dietrich Goff Heinrich Von Meyerstraud Hotstuff Troll (noun) One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument. Oh boy do I have a huge f*****g public announcement for you today: Internet Trolls If you've ever used a message board, forum, or blog, chances are good that you've met one of these misfits or at least seen one in the open. These morons (usually) are immature and/or jealous brats who have nothing better to do with their lives than to sit in front of computer monitors and cause total disorder all over the interwebz in order to make themselves feel more "kewl" or to gain "lulz points". They are no different than IRL verbal bullies, except that they don't have a face to punch or deform (unless you can reach through their screens). Noobs and Campers have often been mistaken for Trolls, but they do share some defining characteristics. Trolls, by definition, are morons with a purpose. Noobs, on the other hand, are morons. Campers are only found in online multiplayer games, but their bullshit ambush techniques easily give others the impression that they are gaming trolls. Their natural habitats include but are not limited to... 1) 4chan 2) GameFAQs 3) Newgrounds 4) Encyclopedia Dramatica 5) And a crapload of other websites... Their primary food sources are... 1) Noobs 2) Victim's rage and discomfort 3) Noobs 4) Ice Cream 5) Noobs 6) Noobs 7) Meatspin.com 8) Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft Fanboys 9) Super Smash Bros Fanboys 10) Noobs 11) Attention 12) Noobs 13) 14) Noobs 15) Noobs 16) 17) Noobs, and... 18) Internet Rage Gaming Trolls can be found on the online features of these games... 1) Super Smash Bros Brawl 2) Call of Duty 3) Modern Warfare 4) Mario Kart 5) Halo, and... 6) Any other popular game that has online multiplayer How a Troll Attacks 1) Direct Insults 2) Indirect Insults 3) "YO MAMA" Jokes 4) Raciest Jokes 5) Bragging 6) Weegee 7) Blue Shell 8) Lying 9) Politics, and... 10) Anything that pisses you off How to Battle a Troll 1) Ignore Him 2) Troll Back 3) Be Calm 4) Google "how to battle a troll" 5) LAWL at him 6) Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick 7) Falcon Punch 8) Shoop da Whoop 9) Viagra 10) Bitchslaps, and... 11) Doing whatever the heck you do with IRL bullies. Points To Remember 1) Don't even bother trying to reason with a troll. It's impossible to reason with brain-dead morons. 2) Don't rage. This is troll food. Don't feed the trolls. 3) Don't be Nice/Considerate. I tried this once on GameFAQs. Doesn't work for crap. 4) If possible, IGNORE/BLOCK THEM. This is the best way to dispose of your troll problem. What to Do if you See Someone Being Trolled 1) Lawl at them. 2) Send them a link to this article. (much preferred!) Thanks for reading! The widespread symbol of trolling. A Troll's best friend in Mario Kart --- https://www.youtube.com/user/JMeister18
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