The Boy and the Stars

-Update 2/19/15-
I'm submitting this for my ENGL 205 class.
---
As the sun sat beyond the horizon,
Darkness grew and shadows rose.
With scattering light and calm winds,
A lone child gazed into the sky.

One by one, twinkling stars began to emerge,
Peeking from beyond the blanket of space.
They glimmered with joy, dancing far above,
As the boy spectated their beautiful performance.

Continuing to watch, the boy sat upon the ground,
As cool blades of grass tickled his legs.
"You're all I have left," he said with tears.
"Please, take me with you and erase my fears..."

The child grew tired with every breath,
Lost in a life that made no sense.
With a tear and a smile, the young boy muttered,
"I want to leave... please take me away..."

As the night expired, so did the child.
Forever gone from the world he once knew.
But the following night, high into the sky,
A new star appeared with an innocent shine...

Author's Note

Just a little something I thought up a while ago. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Starshyne52]

Oh...my...goodness... can I tell you how my eyes are brimming here...I literally said to someone yesterday how you can look up into the sky , see the stars and feel like a nothing ;so small..yet at the same time feel so very much a part of them.. wow..!! Ohhhh... my heart....! thank you

[The Watcher]

You're welcome, and thanks for the review!

[Pax]

simply beautiful tale. sad and bittersweet. enjoyed it.

[The Watcher]

Thank you so much!

[Zainab UF]

This poem flows with a quiet sadness that touched my heart, overwhelmingly so.

Let's just say I'm star-struck. :)

[The Watcher]

Thank you!

[Dante Allen]

It was terribly sad, but it conveys a very strong feeling. I've often felt the same way, and those stars can be very comforting. Excellent work.

[The Watcher]

Thanks!

[Kait]

Could you read my poem Mercy? this reminded me a lot of it, maybe we caught the same wavelength lol Excellent job! I loved it!

[The Watcher]

Thank you, and sure!

[Brittany]

I think the stars have a way to make us feel both insignificant in a good way. Put things of our life into perspective in the grand scheme of things. The idea of the sky swallowing the boy with his terrible life and making him a shining star spoke of hope to me. I enjoyed it very much. Well done.

[The Watcher]

Indeed, and many thanks!

[w]

I love the story you have weaved here. The flow is oh so good. It is something I would like to read more than once and if it were in a collection that I owned I would earmark the page.

The only criticism I have is that "innocent shine" sounds and feels a bit forced to me.

[The Watcher]

Thank you!

[D. Pesek]

I like this piece. Simple yet powerful. It could serve as a metaphor for a great number of situations in life. well done.

[The Watcher]

Thank you =)

[The White Wolf]

I have often done the same. Sat under the stars and had this conversation with them. It is something only those who have lived through the darkness can understand, I think. I can connect with this on a very intimate level and that makes for some steller poetry. Very nicely done.

[The Watcher]

Thank you very much. It means a lot =)

[Sam Gregory]

Well I must say that this is a beautiful write, very nice immagery that caprured my mind. Very well done, keep it up

[The Watcher]

Thank you very much

[Sam Gregory]

No problem :)

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Pure and beautiful, thanks for sharing. The image makes me dream.

[The Watcher]

Thank you, and you're welcome