Chapter 2

After a while, the train’s steady movement had slowly lulled me into a light sleep. Eventually, I awoke to the emergent daylight, not quite refreshed, but budding with the anticipation of seeing one of my dearest friends. As I rested my forehead against the window, watching the countryside pass me by, I felt a sense of tranquility and I slowly smiled at the sheep lazing about on their rolling hills. A part of my heart was headed home.

As I tried to drift back to sleep, my thoughts wandered to the place it had been going more often than not as of late. It was an uncomfortable sort of place. One I couldn’t quite stand my thoughts visiting on such an increasing basis. A place that was unfamiliar yet not, as it was a place my mind used to frequent every minute of every day back then. A place I didn’t know how to avoid because how does one quiet a mind that is alive with words for someone who wasn’t there? How do you silence teeming thoughts of an absent presence? Missing something that I couldn’t define, couldn’t understand…it disquieted me.

Reflecting on my journey, I began to wonder if maybe part of the reason I was sprinting to Barcelona was because I couldn’t sit with the growing intensity of my restless feelings. As each day passed, it was harder to get him from my mind. Maybe I subconsciously knew I needed this distraction as much as I assumed Seb needed one, too. The more I thought about it, the more I was ashamed of my selfishness, even if it hadn't been my initial reason for taking off to the train station in the wee morning hours. I tried my best to will these thoughts into extinction, praying for nothingness to flood my head and for sleep to swiftly cloak me back in its soothing arms. For once, the universe heard my pleas, and I slept.

----

A few hours later, I was stepping off the train and into one of my favorite feelings: the complete and utter sense of unfamiliarity. I closed my eyes and surrendered myself to the present, to the foreign, to the uncertainty of a new country. I wasn’t lost. I knew, generally, where Seb’s shooting location was, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t losing myself to the rushing moment of welcomed strangeness. The onset of unknown variables worth exploring. I felt at home in the unfamiliar, much as I always had. Throughout my life I had found that there is a small sense of grace that comes from relocating and finding oneself in a fresh environment. Finding oneself there and conquering the darkness. A new jungle for me to tame. I took a deep breath, grinned, and headed towards the ocean.

Before long I could smell it; the tangy, briny smell of the sea. With the breeze stroking my face, teasing and tangling my hair, I came across set. They were filming a scene with Seb and his female counterpart, a seemingly intimate moment. As I stood and looked on, Seb cupped his hand around her face, his fingers intertwining themselves into her hair, and gently pulled her into an embrace. I could see his face, his eyes, and there was a hollow desolation there, even from a distance. I hoped that this was supposed to be a goodbye scene and not a tender moment between happy lovers, as the expression on his face articulated what I imagined Seb’s current emotional state to be, and not one of an actor portraying infallible love for his partner. The director yelled ‘Cut!’ and the scene broke up. It appeared that there was about to be a lull for what I could only assume to be lunch or a set change (bless my good timing).

By this time, I was at the edge of it, watching him, searching him. Seb glanced in my direction as I was placing my sunglasses on top of my head and I wondered if he had felt my gaze. He did a double-take before a grin of disbelief spread across his face.

“Hey Seb,” I silently mouthed to him, waving a couple fingers and returning his crooked grin. He jogged over, closing the space between us in mere seconds. Before I knew what was happening, he had pulled me into a bone-crunching hug, the kind where, due to our height variation, led his arms to encircle my shoulders, neck, and head, hauling me straight into the center of his chest. I couldn’t do anything but wrap my arms around his waist and hold on.

“What the f**k are you doing here?” he whispered into my ear as he tucked his head to mine, putting us cheek to cheek. There was something to his voice, a thickness of emotion, and I wondered what was moving him. I desperately hoped it was the sight of a familiar face, my face; some small comfort.

“Oh, you know, I’ve heard Barcelona is always nice this time of year. I needed a change of scenery.” I tried to keep my tone casual, even though we both knew why I was really here. I leaned back without letting go to look at his face and saw his eyes begin to brim. “Just give me your keys, Seb, and tell me how to get to your flat,” I quietly requested, concurrently squeezing his arm in my best attempt to keep him together. He nodded, running a hand down his face and turned, silently inviting me to follow him with a twitch of his head. We got to his bag and after digging for a minute he handed me his keys.

“Seb…” I said, as he silently stood up, turned, and looked down at me. I knew I must have had some sort of frightened, worried expression on my face, but he just gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He leaned in, lightly squeezed my shoulder, and kissed me on the temple. I let the moment pass. He gave me directions and I told him I’d see him when he got home. Apparently, the break wasn’t meant to be much of a break at all, as the director was arranging for everyone to get back into position.

I started walking away, yet as I made my way towards the direction of his flat I felt a sudden urge to turn around. So, I did. Seb was standing there, hands in his pockets, watching me. We had parted ways, but had gently and momentarily slipped into each other’s hearts. I think we both felt the warmth that sometimes happens between two people, but can never be properly articulated or defined. I’d always viewed moments like this as souls holding each other’s hands; a warm and tender grip, when everything is just as it should be.

I watched them begin to redo the same scene, but it was different from when I first saw it. I watched the lovers’ embrace go from a certain uneasiness to relaxed, but lovingly urgent, as if he never wanted to let her go. I saw the look on his face, the light in his eyes, and there was the hint of a smile this time, a smile that was effortless, joyful. I may have been projecting my own feelings on to the moment, but there was no denying the scene’s atmosphere had transformed, as I heard the director exclaim with excitement, “Cut! Yes, that’s it! Brilliant!”

I turned and headed down the street, feeling all right with the world.

----

            It was by chance that I looked up in that direction, but it was the familiarity of the silhouette in my periphery that turned my glance into a stare. Then I realized it was her. It was Jill. She had come all this way. How? It didn’t matter. I couldn’t get my arms around my friend fast enough, and even though I pulled her into a tight grasp, it felt as though she was really the one holding me upright. I desperately tried to stop the tears from reaching my eyes, my throat from constricting, but gratitude and warmth were filling me up and beginning to overflow. The disbelief at seeing her must have been written on my face, masking the pure joy I was experiencing at the sight, the feel of her. There was an overwhelming sense of relief that someone was here for me. I thought then, too, that was all that mattered. She was here.

Author's Note

Disclaimer: I have not been to Spain, I just chose it as my setting. If anything is geographically inaccurate, I apologize, but as the location is not the main catalyst to my story, I hope you all won't mind.

Suggestions, thoughts, criticisms - you name it - please share with me. Thanks!

Reviews

[kattebel]

I love how they reunite! It's wonderfully written- your descriptions of her thoughts and feelings are always so beautifully worded.

[Isabel25]

Are you planning to make them fall in love in the end? I really enjoyed this one too. I generally hate long pieces but urs never feel too long. And i like the way Jill thinks..how she feels home at unfamiliar places...also the part where she defines the undefinable moments as "souls holding each others' hands"- that is just brilliant imagery. Keep going :) I dnt have any suggestions..iam really enjoying the read

[mappingthenight]

Thanks for continuing to read :) I would hate to spoil how things turn out and it's kind of a long way until we get to the end. If you really want to know, I can tell you haha.

I really appreciate you letting me know which parts you like! It's helpful and I'm just trying to get better.

[Isabel25]

Lol I dnt want to..id rather read and find out!