Addicted to depression

This is somewhat true. I make myself depressed writing, after I'm finished I feel much better.

I taste you when I slowly breathe
The smell travels on my salty tongue
I didn’t know it was possible to chock myself
On my clear nose piece from the green oxygen tank
Somehow I managed to suffocate a little

Death in the afternoon is one heck of a drink 
The swollen black and blue on my left arm
Reminds me where the IV was
That horrible night in the hospital
I was in there for over drinking due to my emotions
Abstinence drink makes you think
Of things unreal
Hallucinating my past, present or future
I hold onto myself
Denying that my friends nor my family can help
Loving hurts since I cannot forget how much I care
I do not want to feel like this any longer
I do not know how to solve my problems the right way
Ramming my head against the white wall
Making the wall turn slightly red
At least I’m burning calories

I have no sunshine left in my heart
Running through the same memories in my insane mind
I keep remembering you
What I thought we had was great
Clearly we were too stoned to see
I cannot see that it is over
You just left and ignored my lonely soul
How could someone be so selfish?

Why am I turning into you?
No, I will go back to hiding in the moonlight
Even when I drive and I think I see your car
I think of smelling that Axe body spray on you
Because you were too lazy to shower
Somehow I keep doing this to myself
Crying over someone who is not worth my tears
Drinking is the only think I want to think of
Pressing hard on my black and blue on my arm
To feel the pain from the old IV
feels like nothing compared to the hole in my heart
Caused by you and only you.

Author's Note

I hope you liked it.

Reviews

[Reaper]

very powerful

[Seshat Nidaba]

This was a very interesting kind of a confessional piece, there were times it was so intense I sorta had to wince.

[Lily Mae]

Powerful and so full of strong emotions...well penned..xx

[Ragin Cajun]

very good, I liked it.

[Solitary Dreamer]

I liked this poem. I have felt this way as long as I can remember.. I know tht sounds dramatic, but I have been hurt many times. I loved this poem because it described how I feel exactly.

[Tate Morgan]

Ashley very nice I think it is a good story as well as poem

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

I greatly liked your last verse....its so ....real!!

[Dove]

This is emotional, it really caught my attention. Its really good

[Black Cat Fever]

Very emotional poem. Very tragic. The dark and painful side of love. It can sometimes take people down a very dangerous path that often ends up in trying to suicide and/or succeeding. I do like your poem very much.

[Calypso]

I've wondered the same thing.