Going mentally insane

This is supposed to be a poem/song. It's crazy, tell me what you think.

Insane, I'm going insane in my membrane
Thinking about putting a bullet through people's brains
I see ya lying there on the cold floor
While I try to walk out through the door
My mind plays tricks on where I really am

This was a mistake living with ya
I want to be free from our miserable past
Live happy in my delusional medicated world

Falling, crashing onto the floor with you
I forgot I drank the same drugged up drank you did
I've stop loving you
I forbidden myself from being attach here
Something in my messed up life is keeping me near

This was a mistake living with you
I want to be free from the miserable past
Live happy in my delusional medicated world

My whole body shakes on the starched wooden floor
Staring into your bright green eyes
Grabbing your tie
Now we are both insane
White foams falls from our mouth

This was a mistake living with you
I want to be free from the miserable past
Live happy in my delusional medicated world

I scramble through your black jacket pocket
With my shaking hands to grab your cellphone
To call the hospital for help again
They remember we need more Zoloft
To give us more medication for our insane brains

Reviews

[Dr. S. D. Blankenship D..]

My mind plays tricks on (of) where I really am
I really enjoy it, I was put in a mental institute back in 07, for "going crazy" I was put on Abilify, Zoloft, Lexapro, and now I'm not allowed to practice medicine, which is a bunch of ****. But, I'm sure one day, us crazy people will have are come-back! ;)

~S. D. Blankenship

[Stella]

Great poem! I really liked the rhyme!

[Candy-pooh]

Nice job, I really liked it!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Love the zoloft reference, This can take on any form, even a rap type I can visualise:)

Yas

[Karina Longo]

Your poem sounds like a lyric to me! It would be a great song. I like how cynical your writing can be - you have a brill way of expressing yourself. Plus, I can relate a bit to your piece of writing. Good job!

[steph]

This is bad a*s........ I love it, kinda gets my schitzophrenia going but hell awsome read.....Good job

[The Pack]

This was a vibrant execution of insanity and shear beauty! In the oddworld we exist in these days, I can completely see this as a twisted reality. Thank you for the mental ride!

[Jeff]

Trippy wording and it kind of makes it feel like I'm in a drugged up mind.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

crazy ultra violent goodies replete throughout this Tarantino~esque mindscape where adrenaline guns the soul sockets into overdrive~incredibly vivid writing~ much enjoyed~