am i really better off without you?

hey its just something i wrote. ignore the grammar. tell me how much you like it!!!

outside i take another sip of Whiskey
he just puts his cigarette out on the ground
as i found him while putting my drink down
i have both eyes looking towards his face
its so sweet how our eyes meet
and your blue eye winks at me ;)
i can feel my heartbeat fast and faster
my head is in the clouds
until she gets all over him
and then everything feels wrong
someone stop them
i feel broken and bruised
this is a unfair nightmare
they kiss lip-ring to lip-ring
i never let someone close
so i could keep my heart from breaking
but as she grabs your hair
and you pull her closer to your chest
you don't know what it does to me
for some reason i cant look away
as i see you kiss her neck
i grab my drink
i run, run, run far away
because it took my breath away
until i find a dark place
i sip the bottle down
i don't know what to do
how do i stop myself
from not caring
from not loving you
my brown eyes fill with salty tears
now my eyes are red
as i take a deep fall to the ground
i hear you call my name
is there finally hope?
nope, you just say i forgot my textbook

Reviews

[skye]

i cannot stop crying after reading this...
i am in this exact situation right now...
(and ive been here many a time)
:(
great write,
emotionally touched me like nothing else before.

[Ashley]

This is for all the people who you have a crush on, and you think they like you too. However, you find out they have a bf/gf they don't even love. Oh well, this is my favorite and least favorite piece of work.

[r]

WOW. I love this! It's so amazing. And I agree, it does sound kind of like a country song. I love the way it sorta tells a story and yeah. I love the format, too, with all the different fonts and stuff. I just love it. :)

[bwmorency]

It sounds like a country song actually. I like it, especially the last line.