Life.

Life.

A Poem by Ashley
"

It is a truthful and odd poem, enjoy!

"
Almost everything is wrong in this depressing cruel world filled with hate
It is so hard just trying to find a friend
Everyone thinks that you just want to be their mate
If you lend someone a hand when they are in need
You feel like you need to re-pay them
With all the homeless people, and low budget jobs
People are hungry, dieing on the streets
You think anyone cares? You think the government would even lend a hand?
LOL NOPE!
What is wrong with this miserable lonely world?
Everything is just so so so cold
In this world, money rules over family, money rules over love
What is going on with all the madness?
If you finally find a friend,
you get shocked that someone else is actually genuinely nice and polite
You go about your day looking down to the ground
Then inch to your bed smiling with a frown
You're happy to have a warm bed, but also depressed
Because you have so much stress
You can see why others go crazy and murder themselves
You ponder, "Why even live?"
Well, you came to realize, maybe you can be the better change
Maybe you can fix the problems
Or maybe not
But why not try?
*Try to be the better change, that you want to see out of others*

© 2012 Ashley


Author's Note

Ashley
Hope you enjoyed!

My Review

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Reviews

Not bad, but I'd consider cutting some of the colloquialisms, as they really cheapen the impact of the piece. Some of your lines, too, seem a little forced, and I think there's places here that you could cut without really damaging the message you're going for. It's not bad, to be sure, but there's ways to improve this.

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I did enjoy it. Nice poem with many great points to think about.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i like your poem ashley., i agree we should try to change the world for the better,

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow this is a really cool and true poem , you wrote an incredible poem

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Each line explaines another bitter fact...!!! good hand...

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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266 Views
6 Reviews
Added on September 17, 2012
Last Updated on September 17, 2012

Author

Ashley
Ashley

NY



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I love ~poetry/writing ~being funny ~dancing ~eating cheesecake ~listening to random music ~laughing ~helping ~yoga I am usually a nice person. If you help and comment on my writings, I w.. more..

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