Killing and licking

I wanted to write something interesting and dark. Enjoy!

I lick the red blades once I’m done with their bodies
I swallow my blood from my tongue
Instead of letting it pour over their bodies
I have small cuts on my tongue
It is a reward for punishing the harmful people
I have no fear of being caught
I’m a Capricorn who likes to do things myself
If the police cannot catch people who do wrong, I will
I get adrenaline rushes as the victim pain increases
Their criminals so it makes no difference if they’re dead or alive
You see I do what I’m told but at night I come alive
I kill people who rob others, and people who are evil in this harmful world
I believe I am doing the right thing
All my life, I was trying to fill up the hole in my wrecked heart
Somehow, killing terrible people is what suits me the finest
At night I dress as cat woman, wear a lot of perfume, and lure people in
I seduce them by jumping on them, rocking their bodies and kissing their neck
Leaving my dark red lipstick kiss on their body
Then I exploit several blades that look like claws
The victims try to swing back and attack me
Being dressing in black, I vanish into the dark night time
Then I come behind them and cut their neck until they bleed to death
I cover their mouth tight, with their dirty socks
I feel like this is quite right, and as soon as their dead I lick the blade
The bloody blade taste like a sweet treat
I go back into the dark night and try to find the next person to kill.

Reviews

[Jason Dyer]

Hey at least you're honest! Love the boldness in this one. Be nice to read a follow-up from the perspective of an un-suspecting victim.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A very interesting piece... it is funny cause almost every comic book Super hero is really a vigilante.

[C.]

This was pretty interesting. The very beginning kinda shocked me, I wasn't expecting it hah. My boyfriend laughed at my face

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

a wonderful dark poem about a vigilante well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

You done well with this tale. Create a scary character and storyline. I like the description leading the reader into the desire and darkness of a estrange mind. No weakness in the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Wolfwind]

Hmmm... I'll give it a 6 out of 10 for darkness... an 8 out of 10 for bloodiness, and of course a 10 out of 10 for effort! ;)

While I liked the scene and you portrayed and the imagery got it where you intended, it wasn't quite suspenseful enough for me to say it was truly dark. You might say that it didn't jump out and scare me. I think you gave us a wonderful dose of blood and blades. Once can never be too bloody, but I felt that the line about the cat woman was a bit over the top and stuck the piece in cliche mode.

Over all i liked it. More scary next time! ;p
Aaron

[Ashley]

thanks for being honest. but yeah I do not like to write things that will make someone to jump because they were scared. lol :]