Open the Door

I sat at my computer and started typing. This was my product.

I sat there thinking of all the things trapped in my head. Being that I'm a small person, one would think that a small head would carry small thoughts. People have never been more wrong.

 

Looking upon the days of my youth, I can only recollect the images and emotions from sad and dreary times. Yes, there are a few diamonds in the pile of mulch I consider my childhood, but there aren't enough to make an impact on how I am now. I'm scared. I'm fragile. I'd rather leave someone before they consider leaving me and it's a terrible habit of sorts, which I cannot relieve myself of.

 

I've done it again.

 

Why do I sabotage myself so? It really is an unnecessary ritual that I can't seem to shake. I love him, and I left him in the dust kicked up from the wheels of my motorcycle on our wedding day.

 

Taking another swig of Jack from my flask, I pulled out my pack of slims. Teddy hated my smoking habit, but I didn't smoke nearly as much as he thought I did. I've been on the same pack for over a month and I've still got about ten left.

The worst part of this whole thing is that I can't just go back. That would be ridiculous.  I'm sure that by now everyone has given up on my return and they're giving out bouquets to the relatives that actually cared to show.

 

The buzz from my cellphone shocked me; I'm a dope and forgot I had placed it in my bra. Wedding gowns should really come with pockets.

"Sam, please come back. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Why can't you just let me?"

 

But even if Teddy wants me to come back, his whole family will hate me for walking out and my family will be angry with me for being dramatic. How is it that I'm 25 years old and still acting like a child?

 

With tears welling in my eyes, I got back on my bike and headed back to the church. Maybe this was just cold feet... frozen feet. Maybe this story isn't meant for me to go out into the world and seek adventure; maybe I'm meant to go back to my lover's arms and experience my journey with him.

Author's Note

My punctuation has been weak for a while, and I'm trying to reteach myself how to write using Strunk & White's Elements of Style. Haha. So please don't be too harsh in that respect. I'd love feedback on whether or not this grabbed your attention or bored you to tears.