Bottom of the Ocean (a poem)

a poem of love at the bottom of the ocean

Bottom of the Ocean (a poem)

 

We sink down through watery depths of the ocean

Sinking slowly with no intended motion

We sink down as the bubbles float up

Ah….your beauty---I can’t get enough

 

Your dark brown hair flowing in the water

Your eyes glistening like no other

We speak no words…

No breathing….

 

The schools of fish zooming by

The seaweed waving as if to say “hi”

The water rippling above with the light

As if both are in an epic fight

 

Pop…pop…pop goes the bubbles

Forgetting all of our troubles

But I don’t care because all I see is you

And that’s enough for me too…

 

We hit the bottom and the sand puffs up

But all we feel is love

Is that enough?

My heart aches at the sweet tenderness of your smooth face

A memory that is hard to erase

I caress you like a pearl…a sweet, shiny pearl

Allow of our emotions to unfurl

 

I promise to give you love and pure devotion

As long as your promise to stay with me here…at the bottom of the ocean

Author's Note

It may not have an idolized form or anything because I didn't really care about that. I just wanted to express the feelings of love and the beauty of it. Tell me what ya think!

Reviews

[Richard Williams]

This is really cute, I like this a lot. Funny thing, I've lately been thinking of a poem about being under the ocean (or some water perhaps), so when I saw this I was tickled. I love the ocean, and you do it justice here, with the extra weave, well done!

[Shay33]

Loved it. :)
Painted a nice picture for the reader. And I kind of liked the sort of haphazard rhythm, made it sort of quirky, I guess you could say.
Anyway, great write. :)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

you expressed it beautifully through the gentle stage of smooth sea which compliments tender poetic of pure love and appreciation of that love~

[bbb]

Yeah, don't worry about form, you can always do that later if it's something really important. Very romantic write, love the visuals it creates.

[.]

you created a scene and your rhyme is well thought out, I like the subject matter because it's different, lovely piece

[Nianque]

I love the beautiful imagery in this poem. I can't swim but now I want to learn. My favorite part is the third stanza. Amazing write.

[PaperHearts]

I liked this a lot! The imagery that you created was so exquisite, and there was a real tranquility and ethereal atmosphere to your piece. The emotions that you expressed seemed so heartfelt and so honest, and I could really relate to the feeling of wanting the person you love to stay with you at the bottom of the ocean. There were stanzas that I felt were weaker than others, but overall, I thought that this was a really sweet write. :)
~PaperHearts

[Viva]

This is my favorite one. Like to the concept!

[Lou]

Little Pill showed me this poem and I love it, I think it's super cute. Talent is such a rare find on this site, thank you, you're a breath of fresh air. :)

[Little Pill]

This is beyond cute. I love it.

[EmoGirlIsDead]

that is just the cutest poem ever i like alot and i mean alot