He was like a brother to me

Short, short story

A month after Charlie died, Athena called and said she had some things she wanted me to have. She came to the door wearing shorts and a tank top, which was rare for her. I could smell wine on her breath when she invited me in.

There was a large cardboard box on the kitchen table, containing items she'd gathered. In the box was a picture of the ship Charlie and I were on while in the Navy. Athena reached in and pulled out a deck of cards, the ones with half- naked girls on them that I gave Charlie for his birthday one year. 

Wanna play a hand? she asked.

No, that's OK, I said, Maybe later.

I didn't know if it was the wine ,or my being there that caused her cheeks to flush. I felt her hands on my shoulders while I gathered up the box of what was  my best friend's belongings.

Would you like to stay and have a drink with me, Shaw?

I'd better not, I said.

She wrapped her arms around me while my hands were full and pulled in close. 

I'd better be going, I said.

Good night, she said.

Reviews

[FreeForest]

I liked this story, but I think your dialogue could us some work. Your voice came across well; it sounds like someone is telling this story, which I like. Just the dialogue sounds forced and not really like something two people would really say to each other.