My best adult friend

A lament to the best friends of past, lost to the best friends of present

We’ve become the people we promised we’d never be

When did ‘best friend’ go from the girl and person I could count most on in my life, that someone who would always be there when I called, the keeper of my secrets, the sharer of my pure self, the second to family, the soul sister, the one who really cared, the one who really accepted me and didn’t try to fix me, the one I laughed with until it hurt- my cheeks were bright pink- my face sore- my eyes crying- my breath lost, the one I could look into her eyes and know just what she was feeling, the one who dropped everything to sit outside my hospital room and anxiously wait for me to emerge, the one who listened to and shared in my passions, the one who saw the best of me, the one who put me before any boyfriend, homework assignment, or concert tickets. The one who would get on an expensive 2 hour train just to see me, the one who made me laborious elaborate heartwrenchingly warm birthday cards, the one who I could sit and watch LOST with all day without wanting to be anywhere else, the one who would read beside me, the one who I would go to the park with just to spend time together. The one that saw my soul and I saw hers. What happened to my best friend?

Growing older, growing apart, growing up. Money, jobs, careers, apartments, cities, drinks, clubs, shows, plans, men, newspapers, sex, restaurants, priorities, therapists, hookah- that’s what. What happened to the days when all we needed was time together to have fun? Now a days, just pencil me in when it works for you. I promise I won’t say anything real. I promise I’ll smile. I promise we’ll make a memory. I promise I’ll have some interesting gossip. I’ll tell you a funny story about a man. I’ll know the best bar, the best DJ, and the best late night food. I’ll be up-to-date on the news and culture. I’ll be cool, hip, and intellectual. I’ll have even cooler hipper and more intellectual friends. I promise I’ll be empowering and a feminist. I’ll tell you- you look great! And I'll promise we’ll be ‘best friends.’

I won’t ask more of you. I won’t cry. I won’t talk about the dead beautiful butterfly I found. I won’t explain how I fill my days or talk a out being alone. I won’t talk about bartending too much, so you won’t get uncomfortable thinking about how I have a job in Service. I won’t be ashamed. I won’t talk about “us”. I won’t be mad at you when you leave early. I’ll keep it fun! I won't ask more of you. I won’t show real emotion or pain. I won’t empathize. I’ll just be your best friend.

Author's Note

I'm about to be 24 and I'm one year out of college. Can anyone else relate? Losing my real friends to the fakeness of adulthood is crushing my heart.

Reviews

[J. K. Hannah]

Excuse me, readers, I want to edit this poem to do some real parsing down. However, in the editting screen the formatting has got all dogged! So here it is raw... I'll republish later an enhanced version

[J. K. Hannah]

Okay, the enhanced version is now published above. Thanks for patience!