Chapter One

12 Years Later

Andomeda threw her hand in the air in eagerness, almost leaping out of her chair. 

“Yes, Andromeda?”

“Ms. Pike, the answer to your question is x equals the absolute value of negative 3/4ths.”

“Once again, well done, Andromeda. Let’s try to give your other classmates a chance though now, okay?”

“Yeah Andi, give us a chance,” said the red-haired, rat-looking boy who sat next to her, giving her elbow a rough shove. Tears sprung to her eyes from the sharp stab of pain and when she turned her eyes down to her algebraic textbook the numbers and words blurred together. When the alarm bell finally rang and Ms. Pike dismissed the class, Andi was quick to leave. She shoved her many books into her messenger bag, slung it over her shoulder, and left the classroom in a hurry. If I walk at this pace, for the next 15 seconds that it takes for me to leave the building, I’ll be able to get back to the orphanage at exactly 2:02pm, she thought. She made a sharp turn around a corner and pushed past the other many children running through the hall in a race to get home and play outside on a bright day such as this one. Andi pushed open the big doors of the institution and started to sprint home, if one could even call the dirty and rundown orphanage where she lived home. Please please please let it be there, Andi thought.

She was awaiting a letter from the Academy for Genetically Gifted Children ever since the government announced that if they were chosen they would receive a letter in the mail this very day. 

“I bet I won’t even get a letter. Out of only 1,000 children they would hardly choose me,” she mumbled to the wind.

 Mrs. Shirley, head of the orphanage, had told her otherwise. 

“You have excelled in school ever since you started going. Learning comes easily to you. You started reading at the age of two. At four you understood the concepts of cells and micro-organisms. At five you could complete long division problems. Even for a genetically modified youth, you are no normal child Andromeda.”

At this memory Andi let loose a small smile, allowing herself the slightest moment of hope for her future. She didn’t want to just go to school and get a job like everyone else. Something else was calling for her, she could feel it in her bones. And Mrs. Shirley’s words were true, Andi was more intelligent and had far more knowledge than any other children in her school, probably more than some adults. Even out of the rest of the modified children at the institution, she stuck out like a sore thumb. 

I can’t give myself false hope,though. Because if that letter never comes, which it probably won’t because there are millions of genetically enhanced kids, I need to go about my life. 

She turned down Langley Street and passed the local grocery store, thankful that the orphanage was only a ten-minute walk from her school. 

Her thoughts were pushed aside however as she reached the orphanage. It was a large building, but had loose shingles and was in desperate need of new paint. Andi had always thought a light blue would do nicely. The front lawn resembled the patchy coat of a leopard with dead spots of grass in some areas and fresh crisp green spots in the others. She marched up the cracking concrete steps and pushing the door open, stepped inside. A blast of cool air hit her face and she smelled the distinct scent of cranberry pie, her favorite dessert. This is odd. Mrs. Shirley hardly ever makes cranberry pie. Thinking there must be some special occasion, Andi walked past the many doors that led to other bedrooms, past the library and living room, and into the kitchen. Mrs. Shirley stood over five steaming pies and was concentrating on applying a whipped cream swirl on each of them. Unnoticed, Andi stuck her finger in the whipped cream and then in her mouth. Mrs. Shirley must have heard her though because she turned around and gave Andi a quick pinch on her cheek, saying, “These were supposed to be a surprise Andromeda! And to think I catch you stealing whipped cream!” but her old eyes were gleaming with love and amusement. 

“Why the pies? Has something happened?”

“Well, I’m afraid nothing has happened actually. I had made them for celebration of your acceptance letter…but the post came today and there was nothing. I’m so sorry dear. I truly thought you would have been selected. Surely these will cheer you up, though!”

Andi’s face drooped immediately though and she only mumbled, “I’m not really hungry anymore…thank you, though.”

She ran away from the kitchen and down the hall to her room, where she quickly closed the door. Defeated, she sat down on her bed and questioned how she wasn’t chosen. I really am the best student. I received higher scores than all the other kids at the institution. I’m not like anyone else…never had a best friend or even a group to sit by at meal time. At that point tears began to run down her face, the same moment the doorbell of the orphanage rang, loud and clear. 

“Andomeda dear, run and fetch the door! I’m sure it’s Miss Lila from across the street wanting to share the town gossip again, bless her” yelled Mrs. Shirley.

Her face still wet, Andi left her room and walked down the hall and opened the door. At first, the blasting sunlight only showed the silhouette of a tall, thin man, but as her eyes adjusted she could see this was a man of importance. He wore a designer suit, the kind hard to come by. The man had a pinched-looking face, with short graying hair and glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. 

“Hello, child. My name is Doctor Perrez, head of the Academy for Genetically Gifted Children, but you may call me Director Perrez. It seems your letter never got shipped with the other 999, so I thought I would personally deliver yours,” and sticking out a long arm, he held out a thick envelope enclosed by a crimson colored wax seal. 

Andi, lost for words, merely grasped the letter and turned it over in her hands again and again, as if to make sure it was real. Finally, she replied, saying, “Thank your Director Perrez. I greatly appreciate the trouble it took for you to make the trip out here to Sector 4. I have been awaiting this letter with much enthusiasm since the day the Mrs. Shirley told me about the Academy.”

“You do not speak like most children, even your vocabulary is elevated Andromeda. We look forward towards your arrival at the Academy. In the letter you will find a basic list of items you will need for housing and comfortable living at the Academy. You will also receive the name of your dorm mate, as you will be sharing a room with one other student during the year. In order to reach the Academy, you will have to take a plane, along with your other peers. Once you get to the Academy you are required to stay until you meet the end of your special…education there, which will last four years. At the end of those years, the four most promising students will be selected for a dire government mission. The other children that are still present will be sent back home, to lead regular lives. Prove yourself to be worthy and you will not be one of those sent home. Again, we look forward to your arrival. I wish you luck.” 

And with that, the man turned and walked back to his car, a foreign SML 900, and sped away.

Andi closed the door slowly, still staring at the letter she held in her hands to make sure it wouldn’t disappear. She took in the man’s words and thinking about her chance at something other than living at an orphanage until adulthood, she raced to tell Mrs. Shirley the news. 

Doctor Perrez drove away from the orphanage in Sector 4 and began his trip to the other sectors he had yet to visit with three letters laying in the passenger seat labeled Kai, Layla and Perseus. Knowing there was much to come in the following year, he thought just how funny it was that 12 years ago he was speaking to these same children’s mothers in a pristine, marble hall. 

Reviews

[S. von Glaubitz]

Overall, this is a well-conceived first chapter. The ending is especially cool by tying back to the prologue. I had a definite moment of worry for Andromeda. I thought I remembered that if she wasn't selected for the school, the government would kill her off. Did I understand that correctly? If so, play it up!

I was a bit bothered by the red-haired boy hurting her enough to make her cry and the teacher doing nothing. It also raised some questions for me. Do the teacher and other students know that she’s one of these Gifted children? Is there a stigma attached to that? The incident with the red-haired boy could happen to any smart kid. Can you expand on this scene to show more of that possible stigma, to better build up the hope of going to that special school?

Andromeda mentions an institution fairly regularly, but I’m unclear whether she’s talking about the school or the orphanage. Whichever the answer, are other Gifted children there? How does she interact with them?

Why does the sight of the orphanage push her thoughts aside? Shouldn’t her anticipation build at being so close to finding out if she got the letter? I feel like this does miss a chance to keep that anticipation building.

Also regarding the orphanage, you write the line: if one could even call the dirty and rundown orphanage where she lived home. Is this Andi’s thought or the narrator’s? Given how much Mrs. Shirley seems to care about her, it seems unlikely that Andi wouldn’t want to call the place home. Also, I’m curious if there are any other children present at the orphanage. Right now it seems rather empty.

Finally, the specificity of what kind of car Doctor Perrez drives sticks out, since you don’t really commit to that level of detail anywhere else. At least, the level of detail is somewhat inconsistent. That’s a matter of practice, though, learning where and how to add it in without interrupting the flow.

Again, though, I’ll repeat what I said to you for the prologue. You’re very talented! If this is what you can accomplish as a new writer, I’m sure you’ll go very far indeed!