Who am I (Epiphany)

The plague of uncertainty has left me victim to ignorance!

Uncovered daily by a helping hand whose ambition diminishes the more it uncovers.

Turned aside to glance on a passing dream,

a leaf caught in the winds of peril.

How haunting the past has become. How fear has begun!

This scenario, festival of chaos, has now released its most regarded weapon, fate.

In breathless attempts to elude its grasp, I merely play the fool.

Unwillingly, arrogantly, playing the part it intended.

 

Who am I? In this world of countless, what role can a grain of sand play on the scales in which they are weighed?

Go to sleep ambitions of a brighter tomorrow, as today has proven darker than the one before!

So futile has been the attempts to bring up the descending levels of esteem.

On what basis?

Many have compared me to a "Gentleman"

Such an honorable role, so unworthy have I found myself.

So undeserving to bare such a stigma.

The same few have gone on to bringing down the little they built up.

But constantly, the apologies poor in, in hopes that they will be sufficient to cleanse perfectly there aforementioned sins.

 

Conditioned to forgive,

Labeled for abuse, I give in.

Furious when emotions manifest themselves.

Only to be my chauffeur to more scrutiny.

One must learn to never allow past events to orchestrate present happenings which would instruct future results.

 

Head hanging down below the sea of doubt.

Drowning, now inevitable, but highly sought after.

Emotional scars can never be healed, only replaced,

Hidden in the depths of deeper wounds.

Remarks such as "time heals" have mislead one too many;

A group of which I was almost a member

 

Time in itself possess no healing properties,

Only concealing properties.

Comfort the mother of a deceased child, only to see her offspring in the womb through a machine.

The parent of a miscarriage.

Tell her that time heals all wounds!

Time is used to hide all wounds, but like all wounds if gone unattended to, they reopen.

Becoming more susceptible to further damage.

 

Having accepted the worthlessness of a meaningless existence, much has been understood.

~~Finally, the storm clears, the sun revisits~~

I am here to be here.

Present to be absent

Brought forth, to be sent back.

 

Pay no attention to the things around you, for as you come and go, so will they.

No great person in the past is still among us now.

They lie with the rest, the rich, the poor, the smart, foolish.

 

It does me good to hear no comforting words. They play no part in my life.

They mock me, reminding me, that yes, I am here, and leaving is only done through one door!

A painful door.

A fearful door.

Comfort me, by removing existence before existence.

 

Till then, avoid me, all who entertain me.

Release me those who retain me!

Your soothing words have poisoned me, they have separated me from all cure!

Go now everyone who befriends me, for you too will turn against me!

 

Inasmuch as one will turn and exclaim of how great another is,

Its never enough to prevent the betrayal or the hurt.

 

MY lesson is short but priceless...

You are your own enemy, embrace everyone, but rely on no one

Never allow yourself to foolishly not expect something from someone, for they are all capable!

No one has the ability to comfort in entirety, but all have been born armed to betray.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Burst of spontaneous emotion, thought, memory, experience and so much more. Perfection was not sought after when writing this piece, simply expression.

Reviews

[BlessedLove]

I live and love this piece...I think this may be my favorite overall...
I however, guarantee you that I'll always be there for you in my capacity...that's a promise.
This piece reflects a very bruised heart looking for some form of reprieve..yet, it seems as though this reprieve refuses to be brought forward..
It's a lesson we all have to learn..
Some learn it faster than others as the manner in which they are "educated" scars them to the core...
Hey, I could be wrong..as this is my interpretation..and my relation to this poem...as it seems like it speaks for me as well.
I know I cannot write the equivalent of this...but emotions are the same..thanks for putting up a representation of my heart as well.

Once again...brilliant piece!...truthful..hopeful..realistic..excellent!
God Bless..

~~~Blessed~~~

[DannyLynne Riley]

"in this world of countless. what role can a grain of sand play in the scales on which it is weighed?" I love this... your gift for orchestrating words is evident in this work.

[luke312]

The truth you speak is a truth that can hurt but it something that sometimes needs to be said