Blood of the Ancients Ch. 1

Alone and easily persuaded, Daol Rassi is pulled into a daunting task by a sly shape shifter with a hidden agenda. Will Daol be able to complete this task or will he fall to the power of the Ancients?

Word Count: 1,594
 
High atop the Klensu Mountains sat the Ancients of Shadowspike. Five in all, they were the most knowledgeable beings in
the realm. All dealings with the magical world were approved by these five beings. Although they all stayed atop the
mountain together, none of them spoke to each other except to perform their magical duties of protecting the realm.
Very few knew of the ancients identities, but rumors flew throughout the towns that they were greedy old men.

There were those in some of the less supportive towns that spoke poorly of the ancients and hoped furiously for their demise. None of them more than Daol Rassi. Although Daol was merely a boy compared to the others in his town at the age of seventeen, he knew more about the ancients than anyone else probably ever would. Unknown to anyone other than Daol's long lost family, the strong willed, blonde haird, blue eyed boy was being bred to be one of the ancients. Daol's grandfather was the head of what was then called Tiras Village and was contacted by the ancients pertaining to Daol becoming an ancient. Now the town was a dirty melting pot for trouble. Four years removed from his training and no one around to support him, Daol had become a hired assassin for the highest bidder. His name was known across the realm, and he garnered much respect for his tasks.

The day was full of excitement as the traders from other towns had come in brandishing their goods. Usually Daol received most of his business during these times from some of the wealthy guild leaders in town. They would pay him a nominal fee
to steal the goods from the traders and bring them back to the houses for evaluation. If anyone saw him or followed him, he was to kill them so that word wouldn't be passed on as to which house was responsible. Other times, the traders would hire him
to watch over their caravans against the lesser thieves. These were the jobs that Daol enjoyed most because it actually gave him a challenge and let him prove his worth in this little town to all the guild leaders who thought they might be able to have him eliminated.

So far things were quiet around town. No one had approached the assassin for anything, which both angered and set the man at ease. He was well off with money and had enough credit at the local taverns that drink was plentiful. For some reason,
he felt the need for a bigger thrill than waiting for trading times to come around. Daol didn't speak to many people, he really had no need too. When someone offered him a job, he would consider it for a few moments and either nod or simply
walk away.


"Excuse me, are you Daol Rassi?" The dirty old man said while spilling half his drink over the bar.

Daol didn't speak, he just spun around and stared at the old man. The man was not familiar to Daol's eyes and his clothes suggested he had been traveling for many a days through all sorts of terrain. After a few moments, the old man took Daol's staring for acknowledgement and continued.

"Well, if you happen to be him, I have an offer I believe would interest you. Meet with me down the eastern road and we will discuss my offer when the night falls this very night."

The old man did not wait for an answer, he just turned and disappeared into the crowd of drunken fools around the bar. Daol sat contemplating the old mans words for a moment. Something wasn't right about the way the old man had offered his job.
Looking around the bar at all the drunken townsmen and the poorly kept tavern itself eased his thoughts a bit. Daol had killed many men younger and more skilled than this old man. However, he did not plan to take the old man lightly.

After finishing his drink, Daol made his way outside and into the muddy street, hearing all the traveling traders yelling about what goods they had to offer. He ignored the banter and made his way through the dark pathways between the houses
back to his own home. Along the way, he noticed some small time thieves harassing one of the traders that he had protected a few seasons back. The thought came to him to stroll over and help the trader, but he had other engagements to prepare for, plus he knew that the trader's life was at no risk at all.

As he entered his home, a small one bedroom wooden shack built by his grandfather, that he had neglected to repair or even clean for that matter, he felt the most relaxed he had all day. Although he did not have any safeguards in place, he knew
that no one would try to enter his dwelling out of fear of being caught or found later. The room that Daol slept in was the smallest in the house with a small flat bunk in the far part of the room which wasn't very far at all. He had taken this room because it kept him clear in his thoughts. The only change he had made to the home, had been in placing a hidden storage area in the floor of this very room.

In that storage area which was about six feet long and three feet deep, Daol made sure it was enough that he could hide inside comfortably if he so needed. Inside, it held a good amount of money and some items he had kept of his family along with his weapons of choice. He decided to take his mail armored shirt, which would protect him from deadly strikes if they ever came. A lot of people had sliced into this exact armor, thinking to have dealt a death blow only to have the life sucked out of them by Daol's most impressive dagger shortly after.

Daol's dagger was rumored to be the weapon of the first ancient to grace Shadowspike and the Klensu Mountains. The jeweled dagger had an eery power that radiated itself only when wielded by Daol himself. When the blade struck its target, the magical dagger began draining the life out of the victim and lended the energy and life force to Daol. The short blade met with a grooved hilt encrusted in many priceless gems of every cut, make and color. No one had ever investigated into whether the weapon was possessed or just simply enchanted from fear of dying in the attempt. With his tools in possession, Daol made his way back out to the streets, which were now emptying with the coming of the night and the cool air of the windy season. Daol watched as people made their way in doors and others into the shadows with eyes observing every movement he made. He paid no heed to the threat and made his way eastward to the far edge of town to meet with the old man from the bar.

As he approached the edge of town, he could finally make out a small fire set in the distance. Slowly he made his way out of town and towards the fire. As he came closer, he could make out the shape of a single figure sitting at the fire. Scouting the area, Daol felt that everything was safe and made his way to the figure.

"I see that my offer caught your attention." The figure said.

Daol noticed that the voice was younger and not as shaky as before, and as soon as he started to reach for his dagger, he saw the figure turn to face him. The face of a young man now looked upon him like the old man had earlier.

"I can see that you are confused, so please allow me to explain. I am a shape shifter of sorts, I am sure you have heard of my kind before."

Daol only nodded in agreement.

"Good, well I only take the form of my younger self and revert back to my normal form when I need to, as I did earlier today when I met you. See I have heard tales of your skills and knew that in my aged form you would be more receptive of my offer, and now I reveal myself younger to show you the truth of my skills."

Daol was still amazed by the abilities of the shapeshifter. He couldn't help but feel defenseless to this man, even though he was so skilled in fighting.

"So what is this job you spoke of earlier?" Daol finally said, breaking the silence.

"Well, my friend, my name is Adley Boocshire. My job offer will sound a little daunting at first, but please do not be alarmed until you have heard the details of what I am offering."

"I hope you do not waste my time shapeshifter, I don't take kindly to people wasting my time." Daol replied.

"Never young assassin, I only wish to be thorough. I have recently heard of all the hopes for an overthrowing of power in this realm, and I know that your hopes are probably the most warranted." Adley said slowly not wanting to anger Daol.

Daol hesitantly urged the man on, eager to finally hear the job offer.

"I wish to assist you, but my request is for you to kill the ancients."

Author's Note

Open critique. Main question is if the Dialogue contributes to the story or if it drags it down. First time with fantasy so need any and all advice.

Reviews

[SamanthaMarie]

You have a habit with repeating words that are close together. Like in the third paragraph you used the word guild four times. You need to pay attention to that because it makes the paragraph choppy. From what I have read I know you have an extensive vocabulary, so use it. And also there were a couple mistakes with the placement of quotation marks...

"Excuse me, are you Daol Rassi, the dirty old man said while spilling half his drink over the bar."

When the quotation mark should be placed after a question mark following Rassi.

I suggest editing this chapter, because it is the most crucial that this one flows and intrigues the reader, which it did for me. But, for others, they may be less patient. People have short attention spans. Lol soo again the better the flow, the more likely they are to read it all the way through.

Keep going, I'm looking forward to the epic battle between Daol and the ancients!

[Jeff Jessie]

Thank you for the review. I hadn't noticed that before but now I am going to run over the rest of the chapters I have written to make sure that I haven't done this again somewhere. I don't think I have but the area with the guilds was a little tricky for me.

I also thank you much for the quotation mark help. I have been out of English for so long I couldn't remember how they went but now I realize that I was wrong and can fix that issue throughout the story. Good to know that it intrigued you and I will post more of it soon for you to read if you would like. Thanks again.

[SamanthaMarie]

No problem and I would really like to read more! :)