Winter walks

Winter knows it's time to snow,

while trees reach high to catch the sky.

The ground turned white while birds gave flight,

We walked the path, while I smiled at your laugh, 

for your beauty knows no bounds.

As the path lead on, nature sang our song,

with our hands clasped tight, we walked til night.

The sun had gone, along with our song,

replaced by the sound, of nocturne all around, 

the moon, our guiding light.

Our walk came to a halt, as we realized our fault,

we were too far gone, we  had to walk on.

Then the trees gave way, to a green field bay,

so we continued walking, continued talking, 

as the night gave way to dawn.

Then in the horizon, we saw golden light rising,

so we pressed on, after a stretch and a yawn.

Hand in hand, we walked these fairylands,

but as we neared the end, we felt peace in place of dread, 

as we closed near those pearly gates.

We both stepped through, and that's when we knew,

our life had gone, along with our song.

Our bodies lay dead, in a white forest bed,

but the moons nocturne song, had pulled our souls on, 

and lead us through, hand in hand.

Reviews

[Patrick Gerlits]

Not sure if your intention in this poem was to rhyme or not. Sometimes rhyming is on the backburner and we do it by mistake because it seems to fit the flow. There were several times where I encountered a literary "stop sign" which disturbed the flow you had created. The first four paragraphs had this flow that seemed to lead me through your winter landscape flawlessly, than the fifth paragraph slowed it down.

Now I could tell you all good things, this looks like something I would write and honestly I wish I did as I receive this melancholy longing for a barren snow covered landscape full of, not mystery, but this weighing depression. Like the moon itself weighted down on the subjects of the poem--as though they knew all along as they walked through the bitter cold and wet snow that the end was in sight.

If this poem is perfect to you than it is perfect for me. Another good one.

[MrBooyay]

My intent was to rhyme, and yes there are definitely a few liens that need revising, I just haven't had time yet and I absolutely hate forgetting verses that come to mind, so I wrote what I had down for the time being. But thank you for the feedback! Always appreciated, you catch things that I don't most times.

[Sami Khalil]

A very beautiful and descriptive poem.

"Our bodies lay dead, in a white forest bed,

but the moons nocturne song, had pulled our souls on,

and lead us through, hand in hand."

The ending was great...:)..................

[MrBooyay]

Thank you!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).................